Behind the scenes:
Weaving feelings from scattered pieces doing time along the journey.
Mixing second-hand paints as directed onto original artwork.
Being the main character and still waiting to truly be expressed.
Present in collapsed timelines sharing moments with matching soundtracks.
Turning the volume up and hating the noise it emits.
Traversing as a stranger on trails best suited for friendship.
Artistry leaning on lost in the dance of colors and words.
Camps talking about lingering grief, anger and takebacks.
Slides of distorted art and rumors of being the only one.
Fearing thoughts that burn dreams to the ground and thinking about them.
And chasing out-of-here with a hope for a guaranteed outcome.
Also, off the record:
Untangle what was.
Don't fit in.
Forgive the writer.
Be an observer.
Question limitations.
Become a friend.
Don't comply with smallness.
Support yesterday's weather.
Embrace messy art.
Let joy be free to speak too.
And love without knowing.
It's emotional being both the artist and the art. The writer and the protagonist. The gardener and the garden. Beauty that notices beauty elsewhere. Making mistakes and also doing good things. Holding the power to go but also the capacity to hold back. Existing within the present but affected by views of the past and dreams of the future. Walking straight in some moments and circles in others.
It's emotional not accepting who we are but expecting to believe in who we have yet to meet. To have weathered storms and to be terrified we can't survive upheaval. To grieve and think that happy wouldn't embrace sorrow too. To be the people we are going through with and to be the strangers within those same individuals. To see in the mirror and to not see all that is in the mirror.
It's emotional when moments are longer in feelings than support, but those negative spaces are the debris in a garden and that very same nourishment can cast good things just as easily as it can separate us from them.
We can always go back to the conflict, and we can also always choose to slowly build our way out of being conflicted during those visits.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell.
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