One of the best feelings that epic tales, music and our lives invoke in us is the happiness that we experience when we achieve a goal and then celebrate that success. Having moments like that helps to strengthen our beliefs in ourselves while also providing the encouragement that we need along our journeys' and of course it always feels good to reward ourselves for overcoming or achieving something. Even trees, forests and fields salute life by blooming after the period of time where a part of their trails occurs during a difficult season that prevents their growth. What, though, makes the acknowledgment and the honoring of each joyous moment worthwhile? Imagine if epic tales were to become a shortened version where a single scene or a chapter conveyed that an objective had been achieved without using the incredible details of the characters and their challenges, feelings, missteps and battles with mystical creatures that make those narratives grand. Would you still read or watch movies about those lackluster stories where every outcome would be predictable with a goal being reached? Or what if everything in nature just continued to bloom without the time that is set aside for rest, would we even notice the beauty of it or be in awe of its possibilities anymore or would it all seem mundane because of the lack of change? Or what if every song were to only express the highs, would we even need a variety of artists to say the exact same thing that we have already heard? In other words, if everything we desired were to happen as we want without the difficulties, would we still be celebrating our successes, or would we now find ourselves wishing for a rollercoaster ride in hell or even throwing ourselves off of cliffs so that our journeys would become epic ones that involve all kinds of things that can be the representation of mystical beasts? Maybe it's our belief that if everything were to be just right or have the appearance of that then our lives would be perfect too even though we don't actually know that for a fact, although our opinion has us hoping that it is the truth. When I turn around and pass this way again, there are moments where grief speaks loud within me because of thoughts like "if only this had been just right or that had been" Ryan would still be here. The real truth is that I don't know for sure that he would be even if everything had gone the way that I wanted and certainly there still would have been challenges, just different ones, and who knows, maybe I would have hated that trail as well. What has been done cannot be undone and it stands as it is but the power of it does not have to stay in the same form if we pardon or forgive the weeds, our own in particular, and then use what's there to be stronger as well as to do this better today and tomorrow. It is, however, always all right to not be all right in every moment as long as we don't stay in that place for too long preventing our growth or limiting ourselves to a single scene or chapter when we are so much more than that. Change is difficult when our field of view focuses on the "if only things had been just right" or "I am not possible if my life isn't just right" especially since that is not what we are going through with in our so very heavell or authentic lives. After all, it's not just about the flowers because without the difficulties, the wins would be uninspiring and unimaginative but then it's hard to perceive of that when we are in the midst of anything, or our thoughts and feelings have us passing this way again and again while hoping for a different outcome. A better story will always be the one where the details hold not only what went right but also what was wrong as well as what has or can still be learned in our series of movements just like in those grand narratives that we connect to. This is your epic tale so be kind and be loud but also be curious because it's not just about the flowers, they fade when always in the light, but rather about what can be found in the unexpected beauty or the out of the blue wins and the shading effect that comes from the difficulties along your way that make celebrating any kind of success worthwhile. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you because it's most definitely not just about the flowers. Love Always, Heavell
If we value and love controversary as well as the messes in any kind of epic story, why don't we feel the same way about them in our own narratives? Is it because it's others who are traversing in the weeds rather than us or is it that they hold the belief of finding courage as well as hope in places where fear and impossibilities breathe just as we need in our own lives or is it the presence of those mystical creatures that turns what are really ordinary tales into the grand accounts that we sit on our seats for? Or perhaps its' that it has always been easier for us to locate the value of the weeds as an observer versus finding their worth when we are in the midst especially when we think that being in that darkness and feeling lost is the same as being a failure? Ralph Waldo Emmerson said "What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered" and when we look at the beneficial accounts of weeds in the story of a field or a forest, they are a part of balancing and nourishing the soil, help to prevent erosion as well as provide a home and food for all sorts of creatures regardless of our dislike for them. If we then take the word weed and exchange it for terms that connect to us, like pain or dreaded "f" moments or fear or substance use, the good or useful quality of those experiences are harder to discover and believe in, but their purpose is also meant to help us find strength and courage in the moments when we and things become unbalanced. In other words, the difference between weeds and flowers is in how we judge them just as the distinction between failure and success is really in what we feel the virtues or lack of are for each. Sometime ago I wrote about an addict whose substance hell involved alcohol. Over his matter of time, he took what seemed impossible and changed it into "I'm possible" The short narrative is that he now refers to his substance use as his having been a professional drinker who no longer does so rather than using the phrase that he is an alcoholic/addict. The understanding about that darkness is still there in his words but the power of it has become his strength as well as providing him the ability to laugh until his stomach hurts about what has been. His story is about overcoming something while having to fight mystical creatures, also known as the pain within himself, along the way and while there hasn't been crowds of people on the edge of their seats observing his journey, the value of it is still grand because he has been able to pardon the weeds in order to use them to nourish himself and find his way home to the place that needs him most. What person, place, thing or fictional character would you choose to be you in your epic tale? How would your choice handle the controversary and the messes that can be found on your trail? Would that option be strong and courageous in every moment with a predictable outcome, or would your particular storyline be authentic and grand through emotions and terms that at times reflect the fear and the doubt that live in the weeds and within us even though we hate what they say and how we feel when in the midst of all of that? Words matter not just because they hold the details of what has been but as an expression of our belief or value of those things and when they remain in a limited view, they prevent us from being able to pardon the weeds or transform by using them to feed our strength and courage along what are really so very heavell lives not predictable ones. After all, foreseeable storylines wouldn't be worth noticing, don't hold feelings of hope nor have they ever been what makes a tale epic, but weeds in all sorts of forms have always had an important presence in those narratives as well as the stories of fields, forests and our lives. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you and when you pass this way again, pardon the weeds this time because their unseen virtues are meant to be the out of the blue wins that nourish the place that needs you most just in unexpected ways that you didn't imagine were POSSIBLE. Oh, hell sometime warriors love epic tales and so do we. Love Always, Heavell
Our words may hold the shading effect of our experiences, but we are not limited to what has been living there nor how it has felt. A part of changing ourselves is found in transforming how we have viewed our terms as they relate to and reflect what we believe about ourselves. For example, flowers can be the symbol for the wins in our lives while weeds can be the example for what hasn't gone right, or a tree can be an individual while a forest is a family, friends and or a community. The idea of those items helps us to visualize ourselves as well as our moments and just as their rides take them through the processes of becoming, fading and moving again, the reverberations of our encounters do the same thing depending upon what we keep our focus on as well as what our expectations of just right are. What makes epic tales grand is the characters and their adventures along the way but if we removed the specific details and the symbolism that provides the imagery, those narratives would still be the stories of the kind of lives where individuals are experiencing failures and wins on their journeys, just like us, although without the exciting presence of mystical creatures. It's that authenticity of the characters that we understand, connect to and love even when a storyline involves fantastically made-up things. After all, a dragon in an account could actually be the representation of the power of emotions like fear or anger and our need to defeat the control either has on us, or it could be the example of the strength that addiction has and how impossible it feels to overcome it in another. In other words, our dreaded "f" moments that feel like the weight of the world and feed the hell in us can be viewed as weeds in a different truth, where they are an important part of the process leading to positive outcomes that are not always just right and rarely in the time that we would like. In the picture with the blog today, do you see a person, place or thing? Are you able to see something other than what you initially thought of? Could it be an example of a sometime warrior in the weeds? Or are you only focused on what you believe is failed in the illustration? Words matter in the telling of epic tales because of what they invoke in us just as they do in our very own storylines. The limitations that we set on defining what has been for us prevents our movement on our journeys, exactly what we don't want, but we can expand our field of view and encourage hope as a feeling to keep us going towards whatever goals we need to get to. How would you feel if your favorite character sat down, refusing to go on, after not slaying a mystical beast on the first try or if it took longer than he or she wanted it to or there were still more to overcome? When you think about what you believe about yourself, what person, place or thing best represents your imagery? What would you then use as an example of your moments? This is me and in my particularly fantastic narrative there have been falls, tricky substances, cliff hanging, "flipping out" as well as death and anyone of those things could be depicted as mystical beasts or darkness or trees or flowers along my journey. To some however, in a limited view of my story, it has seemed as if I have simply been in the weeds when I could have chosen to change locations rather than stay there. Epic tales, though, are always about rides where failure is a part of success, courage walks hand in hand with fear, love and safety evolve through the storyline and a loss is still a win although its form isn't what was hoped for. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you and when you tell your story, make sure you don't limit your narrative especially when you say it to yourself. Love Always, Heavell
In every engaging narrative there are backstories, conflicts, obstacles and goals that provide the ability for us to perceive of the characters that live there and an understanding of what they have to overcome. Those journeys involve other locations, goals that we don't have and mystical beasts as well as magical things but it's the discovery as well as the change along the way or through the storyline that holds the emotions that we can relate to and care about. Epic tales, after all, are not about always being strong and courageous or doing flawless things but rather are about facing the weaknesses, the doubt, the pain and the fear in those worldly narratives just as we are challenged to do in our real lives. Even in the story of a field, a tree or a flower, the accounts are not about everything being perfect but the processes of light and dark as well as nutrients and weather or lack of along with other types of complications that they encounter when growing in familiar places that are not always welcoming. In other words, a better story than a perfect one is a real one just like in the books, movies and songs where an authenticity about the subjects makes them feel believable. The difference, however, is that our tales don't feel greater than ideal when our mystical creatures and legendary trails are really things like addiction and being lost in the weeds with a hope that keeps us holding on but also has the ability to leave us feeling hopeless when a positive outcome isn't what we wanted. So why is it easier to have fondness for or cheer for someone else's epic tale than it is to do so in our own? Maybe it's because we perceive that a flawed character in a narrative can be forgiven for moments of weakness and "flipping out" while still being seen as a hero but that our own darkness and missteps are an indication that we are in fact and or opinion impossible? Or perhaps it's that those tales are fictional which makes it so much easier to have understanding even though there has to be a sense of realness about the characters in order for us to connect with them to begin with? Or maybe it's all right in those stories because the controlled change happens in ways that are just right? A better story is an actual one even if what's there isn't what you want because it is an opportunity to discover more than you imagined like in those out of the blue wins where you were scared but held on anyways or where you said what you needed to say even if no one else heard you. Change is always enfolding us whether things appear to be the same or not but it's the hope as a goal rather than a feeling or the belief that one can't be fearful and brave at the same time or that a part defines a whole or that needing help is proof of weakness that limits our view of our and other's possibilities. When you pass this way again, and you will in thought and or behavior, this time view the main character in your epic tale as a sometime warrior who needs understanding, forgiveness and help from you because, after all, a better story is not a perfect one but rather the one in which you show up for you in all the ways that you authentically live and feel your life. If your favorite character found himself on your journey, experiencing all that you have, what would he or she do to go through? Now what are you going to do with you one moment at a time? Oh hell, grab some tissues for tears and or laughter while having the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Thank you, Tess, for sharing a part of you with us through your artwork. A flower that transforms into what we actually need is a better story.
Hope is the very essence of all epic tales and while we often see that term as it relates to being a specific goal or purpose to achieve, it is really a feeling about trusting that some sort of positive outcome will eventually happen despite the details and the challenges that occur along the way. In a sense, that small word has the power to evoke some of the strongest reactions in us whether in a narrative that has us on the edge of our seats or music that expresses what we connect to or in the uniting for a cause. In a different truth though, hope also has the ability to create hopelessness in us when we interpret it as an absolute or having to be just right. The journey to success always includes actions of failure or falling as a part of the process of learning and emotions like fear, anger and doubt that are the opposite of what hope implies are often felt as well. Having the expectation that things need to be as we wish limits our view and prevents the finding of those out of the blue wins that we didn't imagine are waiting to be discovered. When the trail is difficult, and it will be in various moments, those hidden things are exactly what can help us to hold on and trust that impossible will become I'm possible even when the results isn't what we planned on it being. After all, hope has a life of its own that, depending upon the circumstances and the meaning that it holds for an individual, can either be easily held onto or just as simply hidden in the shadows as a detail of what makes any story epic. As far as you are concerned and or as it pertains to someone else, have you ever been disappointed by a wish not coming true? Why did you feel that way? Were you able to find the unexpected beauty that would have been there too or was your field of view focused on your hope becoming exactly what you expected? Ryan's addiction wasn't just right for me, and his relapses were not a part of my goals. Those years were scary but because I had a specific purpose or way to get there, my "flipping out" as things didn't go as planned actually fed the hell or hopelessness in him more than it helped. As we know though, when we are in the midst of anything it's incredibly difficult to hold on to the feeling of hope while trusting that something positive will occur in the darkness whether you are an addict or not or facing some other type of challenge that exists along the way. Take the time to think about what you hope for, leaning in to experience it as an emotion rather than as a particular aim and then contemplate what your goals are with the idea that healing, sobriety or whatever is not a straight line through the flowers but rather a rollercoaster ride in the weeds that absolutely isn't going to be just right. Hope has a life of its' own and it can't live if we limit it to the parts that we only want because when we do that, it becomes the feeling of hopelessness; the very thing that we don't want. Today we are including one of Ashlee's favorite music videos titled "Sober-Voice of an Addict" featuring KC Makes Music and Jordan Meyer. Words matter and the more we understand how we live through them as well as how others do, the better our possibilities are in finding those out of the blue wins and positive outcomes that we hope for and need in our so very Heavell lives. Be loud, be kind and be just right as you trip, fall, walk in circles and enfold change in your matter of time. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
In any kind of life there is a thin line between failures and successes because positive outcomes rarely exist without some sort of falling along the way and since the value of a win is often based on the amount of "life" you have to give to make something happen, those easy trails would never be the place that sometime warriors would be found on. Even the margin between what we hate, and what we love is narrow because our add-ons make it possible for us to lean in to hear one or the other depending upon the subject, the moment or the place that we find ourselves in. Paradoxically trust balances on a hairline as well because when there has been a failure of it, we want to see remorse and then be able to forgive but while those words are a part of what defines safety, neither action is a guarantee that a cycle won't be repeated especially when the why is far more complicated than those outward appearances simply imply, and change has never ever been that easy regardless of the presence of hope. On the surface, all of those terms are familiar to us but what actually gives them meaning is the enfolding depths of our personal experiences or the shading effect that has occurred in our lives. The details that we hold are what make our stories epic even if the "mystical creatures" in our tales are addiction or some other behavior or thing that we don't want, and they can also be what complicates our ability to transform. Our expectations and imagination encourage us to believe that our shading effect should follow some order or shape but even in the show and tell of art, music and epic tales a variety of elements from light to dark are used to project the amount of "life" in a piece. When the details are missing, we are then left with limited views that leave us wondering what else could be there and that difficulty will facilitate our interpreting what we believe those things are although they rarely contain everything that is really there. In other words, we actually live in our "have dones" and if we unearth what's buried there, we might just find that the out of the blue things that breathe there are the hidden successes that we need. When you pass this way again, because you will and you should, what victory or small thing did you miss because it wasn't what was expected nor what you believed it should be? How do you feel about it now? It is easy enough to think that success, fondness, healing and safety are straight lines, but the real truth is that they are a series of movements that takes us all over the place while including failure, sometimes repeatedly, on our rides as a part of the amount of "life" we give to make things happen. This is me and in my epic tale I have been a sometime warrior who slayed dragons and hung from cliffs or fell down at times even though in my show and tell those mystical creatures have appeared in the form of a behavior or thought, and it was my feelings that I was hanging on to rather than a perilous ridge. After all, the shading effect in my life has at times made those tasks feel as if they are as powerful as a legendary beasts appear to be until I recognized that it is my words and details that give them life and just like that, I can throw a plot twist in and defeat them with a little unearthing of treasures in the mess. Be loud in your story because it's what you are going through with but also be kind because even sometime warriors need to feel fondness and hope in the moments that they are in the weeds. Oh hell, use the shading effect to continue your epic story in an unexpected and yet your kind of successful way. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always Heavell
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