Quite A Bit Of Room #163

There is always a particular moment, one that holds an intense dismay, in which we become aware that substance abuse has become powerful in our lives. Whether an addict or not, do you remember when and how that knowledge occurred for you? If you could choose just one word to describe how that time felt, what expression would you say best describes your sentiment? Both Ryan and I viewed the expression fear as the single most accurate description of our individual perceptions of addiction. That specific term placed us in the same group even though what each of us had chained to it was in direct conflict with what the other was keeping there. Ryan’s fear had been related to his need of a substance, an in-animate object, and mine of course was my desire for my son to be all right. That just alike designation contained different truths but also held the possibility of understanding each other because being scared is not defined by one person, place or thing. However it has never ever been an easy or simple thing to see especially when comparing an individual to a thing, such as a substance, and its part in the falling of that person. The small things that can be found in the details carry a lot more strength in their ability to help expand our view and thus facilitate change. Ryan’s perception was focused upon what he saw and felt which made it impossible for him to value anything other than those tricky drugs while our attention was on devaluing something he believed he needed and held a different view of. How difficult is it then to convince someone that a behavior, choice or BLAH is not in their best interest when they are in fact and opinion, on his or her inside, getting some sort of relief from that very thing? If our words hold our experiences and are defined by us as individuals, then the strongest we will ever be is found within those terms as the beholders of them; whether we are lifting up or destroying ourselves. After all, there is quite a bit of room for us to strive, struggle, be be-loved and stay in places for far too long in a so very heavell life. What’s not there though is the view that others will do as we say when the details behind our designations are different even if they seem similar or appear to be familiar. This is you and this is me, whether an addict or not. That nothing that has appeared to come from nowhere has always been something in the place that needs you most. At first glance whatever is there might seem like a weakness but the real truth is that it has always been, for your matter of time, leading to a step. What then is in your words that you say to yourself for that knowledge is a superpower to raise a little hell for you? Be loud but also be kind to the perfect person who is finding the way along his or her trail because while there may seem to be quite a bit of room there, there’s really only enough for that individual and a sometime warrior to go through. In other words, the fear and courage that he or she feels has been designated as the places to fall, walk in circles, step and to find the beauty of messes as only that person can. Have the best day possible in your kind of life by walking on your flowers while carrying your weeds.