When we express words and behaviors, especially those with loud voices, we are sharing to the outside the sound of the hurt that can be found on the inside. For those on the exterior, those moments can appear to be the all rather than the green truth that they actually are. After all, what is seen on the surface is simple enough to view while the real truth is very complicated and often hidden. If we stay in that easy place for far too long though, we are the facilitators of some of the “f” moments by not going through. We are also ensuring that the hell will always be close by as that sight is also used to define a whole as being just a part. One of the hardest things to do is to be there for others when they are not together especially if we are not as well. In this kind of life, there are moments when our sometime warriors need to stand while others fall, to be kind when they can’t find the words to lift themselves up and to listen when they are being loud. Have you ever asked someone what he or she was feeling to have said or behaved in a manner that was challenging or detrimental? Or did your feelings prevent you from doing so; whether an addict or not? This is you and this is me finding the balance through facts and opinions on the inside and the outside. We are breathing in the words and feelings that we shouldn’t while forgetting that there is so much more to each of our stories than what can be perceived of from the surface. To be certain your view is beyond what is just in front of you, have that understanding that if it seems like yesterday, it probably is and it’s time to look in the mirror; whether an addict or not. A part can never ever equal a whole even if you treat the nothing that came from nowhere as the only something that holds the words that you heard. In a life that is so very heavell, fear is often expressed as anger, pain holds beauty and words carry the hidden weight of the world.
What words come to mind when you think of your pain; whether an addict or not? How do they feel in your heart where they actually facilitate your walking in circles? What do you believe it will take to change what can be found there? The connection that we seek from the outside can often help us but it also can continue to feed the hell when we are unable to just do as they say; because it has never ever been that simple. Every word holds heaven and hell but how it breathes in our hearts is affected by what has been chained to each through our individual journeys. Those perceptions are in the heart of each beholder regardless of any similarities or differences that others may know, perceive of or even the steps that they have taken. No matter what we hope for, change cannot occur without our understanding how we came to define words in the place that holds what hurts and requires boxes of tissues even when we are laughing. The problem is not in what we feel, it’s all valid, but in what we do with how we feel; lifting up or destroying on the inside and the outside. What do you experience when someone tells you to not be sad or angry or even to just stop using substances? How about when you are told to just think heavenly thoughts? Are you all right after hearing those words or do those little boxes of feelings become even louder in you as you experience another “f” moment? If you are going to do as I say, then get ready for the fall because you can’t change the power of the hell until you know why you are feeding it. Turn around because it is all right to be scared, brave, fallen and angry while having superpowers you don’t know how to use just yet. Oh hell, the question is what do you want to do now with what is in the words that you say? Whatever that is, just don’t stay in or with people, places and things that encourage you to forget your whole story through their words; especially those tricky substances. You are a sometime warrior because this kind of life believes that you are the perfect person to take your nothing that came from nowhere and leave it better than you found it. I’m just going to wait right here in case you start getting loud while being certain about the facts and the opinions of your words and how they feel. After all, being there for yourself and for others is both painful and beautiful in a life that is so very heavell.
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