When we tell our story through our words, and especially through our actions, we express on the outside of ourselves the place that we are at on the inside. At times the accounting of what has been can easily be seen while in other moments what we convey is a green truth; to ourselves as well as to others. We assume that those who appear to be together are just that; even though we are all most often not together in at least one part. We also believe that when “a mess” is conveyed in one piece, or some pieces, it must be what can be found throughout the whole. Illusions are the perceptions of people, places, things, substances or even the BLAH that do not include all that can be found there; nor do they acknowledge what’s not there. Are you sure that you want to continue to believe that the loudest part of you is the sole definer of you? Whatever that part may be, what’s not there is that it became that way in order to stay silent. What’s not there is the ability to have and to hold heaven without going through the hell; especially what hurts. Here’s to being all right when we are comfortably uncomfortable in whatever place we may be. Yesterday has left and tomorrow will be here soon. What’s not there is it all staying the same if you seek the understanding of you in order to change it. After all, as you are, the strength of the hell has always been found in what you feed it; for exactly your matter of time.

As much as we hate hell, it’s amazing how much time we consent to staying in that place; even though we shouldn’t. Our negative thoughts, words and actions, also known as the hell, carry far more value and remain longer in our hearts than all the positive or heaven moments do; even though they also shouldn’t. A green truth is the illusion that we cannot be or ever have beauty if we have not been perfect along our trails; on the inside and the outside. At times when the hell feels as if it is stronger than the heaven, as in addiction, it appears to be the real truth; that once “a mess” always “a mess”. What’s not there in that belief, though, is the whole story of who we are; as wholes rather than just a part or some parts. One of the most difficult views to perceive of, beyond what is just in front of us, is that falls and “f” moments are a part of the beauty in a so very heavell life; in different and similar ways. This is me and this is you, together and not together, but always so much more than just fear, pain and those hated falls. What’s not there is the ability to change what will always just be in the yesterdays. Tomorrow, however, can be different by what you do with it now. A part of that change includes saying “I’m sorry”; for having forgotten that you have always been the beholder of heaven as well. Can you turn around and get comfortably uncomfortable with the hell? After all, as you are, it’s the position where you will find the understanding and the acceptance of you; also known as the beauty that can be found wherever you are.

“The greatest beauty is found in the falls that are meant to raise us higher than we were before they occurred; in order to see beyond just what we think we see. Be grateful for even the most difficult ones for they teach us more than all the heavenly moments do; or the illusions of them.” – Ryan Fisher, April 2019

What’s not there in Ryan’s words is that the difficult lessons often hurt more than anyone can imagine or ever want them to. What is there, though, is that by holding the hand of fear and that of courage, it is possible to step no matter how far you have fallen; or how long you have been walking in circles. Unless, of course, you consent to feeding the hell by believing that your story means you can’t. What is in the words that you say? Oh hell, sometimes we all are in that place, in different and similar ways, but we don’t have to stay there. But of course what’s not there isn’t always what we imagine it to be.