What Would You Say? #246

Over the past week, I took the opportunity to ask a variety of people if they could tell me what they would put in a story of love about themselves. Dead silence followed every time I asked that question and while it was obvious each person was searching for some sort of an answer, not one could come up with a response to that very thought-provoking and important query. The last individual, after recognizing that he did not know what to say about himself, then asked me ” well what would you put in your story of love?” I smiled as I recognized that he was uncomfortable with my question, and then I laughed as I admitted that I feel as he feels. The real truth is that those particular pages in my epic tale could absolutely benefit from my taking the time to express some sweet talk as often as I have been known to lay or even roll around in my weeds. It is, of course, far easier to fire-off our thoughts of affection about someone else or even some particular object but when it comes to ourselves, that knowledge tends to be pushed so far into the shadows that it isn’t easily seen nor felt. I really had a difficult time understanding why Ryan couldn’t locate the wonderful parts of himself, to give him hope, during his addiction years and I even tried to remind him of his value by repeatedly nudging him with what I saw as the beauty of him. I realize, now, it actually isn’t an easy task for most of us to do unless of course you happen to be an author who writes a grand story of love and knows exactly how to make the characters appear to be authentic or you have added that specific tool to your repertoire and don’t want to miss a thing about your life knowing it makes you the only you. It certainly would be simpler if we could lean in and experience the affection that others have for us as if our hearts were whispering those words to ourselves, but it doesn’t really work that way now does it? Can you imagine looking into the mirror and smiling at yourself as a part of your journey towards emotional and mental wellbeing? You know like in those show-up moments where you need you to be there as the person you are guaranteed to go through with? What would you say in that moment? Maybe the reason why we struggle with endearing terms for ourselves is because a mess or a dragon or our pain along the way does feel so much louder and stronger that we can’t move our view especially when we are in the midst of it? And what if it’s complicated by our being uncomfortable with our belief of that kind of sweet talk so we haven’t yet realized its importance in our series of movements in taking care of ourselves? That voice, though, isn’t supposed to just reference what we love about ourselves because its other purpose is to sit with us in the difficulties of the dreaded “f” moments while encouraging us to try something different to find those out of the blue wins. In other words, they are meant to feel like a hug in our hearts in all the ways that we actually live in our so very heavell lives. So, what would I say in my story of love about myself? Well, that answer really began to form yesterday after I asked yet another person about her narrative who by the way quickly had a response to my query. My answer is that I love the place that I am at on my ride. It’s one that I have passed by many times before but finally in this moment, I am able to no longer hide my feelings or my mess from myself. My smile is a former cover for what has hurt sometimes very badly, and the term stoic has left my emotional definitions because I don’t need it anymore to feel safe. Both of those things did serve a purpose in the yesterdays but today I am showing up and if I “flip out”, I know it means that I need to sit with me while whispering some sweet talk to myself until I can move again. I recognize that “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” are phrases that belong on the pages of my narrative for me because it has always been all right for each of us to not always be all right. It’s what we eventually do with what’s there that matters, that transformation, and besides, why else would there be boxes and boxes of tissues for us to use? The answer to that query probably belongs in our sweet talk as well because what we think makes us weak often is really how we become strong. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you as you figure out what you would say in a story of love about yourself. Love Always, Heavell

Today we are sharing a very brief video of Julian Rosen. He is a “Head Coach” whose words are the results of his transforming what “not being all right along his journey” has meant into what positively impacts him today. It’s a glimpse into his epic tale. The title of his clip is “Why Men Should Cry” Thank you @julianrosen_ for sharing a piece of your narrative with us.