What we choose to do today, just as we did yesterday, will be reflected in the future; sometimes with long term consequences. I often watch how parents behave with their children and while they are only seen in moments, it is apparent that they are actually patterns. I wish I could tell you that I have only had moments but then I would be telling you a green truth. There has been a great period or pattern of time in my life where I was completely unaware that I was expecting my children to do as I said not as I did. I have behaved in ways that were less than which led to ramifications in the future that were not limited to just Ryan’s addiction. I was able to justify my actions and reactions, at the time, as being only moments because it was always someone else’s fault but never mine. Those moments became patterns in our lives that we shared with each other. We do not have to be an addict in order to be fallen. We just have to fail to cope well while leading others, especially dreams, to do the same. Addicts and non-addicts are really the same type of people as each of us justifies, denies and excuses our behaviors even though it is not in our best interest to do so. We each have the ability to lift up or destroy others, including ourselves, but we are often only aware of what happens to us rather than what we have also done. I am painfully aware of those patterns because I have lived and breathed them. That friend of the snake, known as denial, really wasn’t my friend after all. It took more and more bites of that apple to not deal with the real truth; just like an addict using a substance. How can I believe in myself if I am only some of my parts rather than all of them? How can anyone find the belief in his or her self while knowing that some parts must be hidden just like secrets?
There are times when I have felt fear as I have watched parents actually encouraging their dreams to use a substance, particularly alcohol, in order to “have fun”. I have to imagine that there have been people who felt that way about me as they watched me being in denial of what was happening with Ryan all those years back. First, let me say that addiction is still addiction; legal substances are not more justifiable than illegal ones. Secondly, no one knows if they will became an addict until they use something so even if you are not an addict, or are in denial that you are, that does not mean that others won’t become one. We lead angels to where they fall while not realizing they may not survive theirs even if we have endured ours. Third is that fractured people are open to the use of substances, or things, as well as the following of others in order to cope, avoid pain or to fit in. Each of us has our own personal emotional definitions that have been created by our lives while being affected or influenced by others. No one person sees things or feels them in the exact same way as others do even if they are in the same family. The definition of words are merely the universal descriptions of them while the power of those words is found in our individual feelings of them. Those distinct sentiments, whether seen or hidden, spoken or silent, drives each us to find where we feel heard and understood. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and at times that means that hell is the beauty and a fractured person is the beholder.
To the parents who encourage their children to use a substance in order to “have fun” because it’s okay: If this goes wrong for your children, will you be able to help your children get out of the hell you led them to? Are you aware that you, yourselves, can’t “have fun” without drinking, or whatever, and that is not okay? It actually means that you are an addict. Do you realize that just because you have survived yours does not ensure that they will survive theirs? Are you willing to risk that for “having fun”? Happiness is not found in a liquid, a pill, a BLAH or in altering yourself because what you are not coping with will continue to rise until the end. The truth will come to the front despite your pretending otherwise. If you need for me to be “the bad one” so that you do not have to be accountable, I am up for the challenge. Playing the victim, however, will never remove your sins no matter how big nor how small they are. You do not have this. It is your children who will pay in the future. You deserve better than that as does your family and I hope that you figure this out. My dreams matter as do yours so please turn and look in the mirror. Misery, denial, justifications and excuses are all the friends of the snake and unfortunately so is death. Tricks are not just for drugs. They are for alcohol, people, things, behaviors and BLAH. You are a circle of heavell and pretending that you are only beauty is an illusion of perfection your children cannot afford. You know where I am if you need me. Just reach for the hand of courage even if you are biting the apples. The consequences are coming because you are behaving today as you did yesterday as you will most likely do in the future. You are your guide out of hell, as well as your children’s, but you seem very comfortable there while having heavenly expectations. I pray that I will not have to stand with you because death has claimed one of yours. When you breathe, I breathe but it won’t matter as long as the forest has a big tree of denials.
As a part of our celebration of the year anniversary of Heavell’s blog, we have been working hard on updating the website to make it much more user friendly for everyone. We have also included the PDF of our FREE booklet entitled “The Circles of Heavell”. These are our strategies for the prevention of substance abuse as well as ways to prevent the fracturing of our dreams. We hope that any or all that is said by us brings you to the place that you need to be in order to accept your whole while also leading others to discover theirs. Addiction is the art of living in heaven and hell. No one has come together exactly has you have on the circle of heavell. Beauty is found not just where you fit in but also where you don’t. Believe in all of you.
Recent Comments