The power of ourselves lies in our ability to take the hell, the adversity or the BLAH that has been or will be and find the beauty within it; what we are in control of. Our actions, reactions, the pain, as well as the apples known as justifications and denials, can make that impossible to discover and learn from; it is always there whether we are able to see it or not. When we feel we have been harmed, by words or behaviors, we breathe those moments into our hearts; with the hell reaching far into our heavenly parts. The more those types of events occur as well as the intensity of any or all of them, the more those pieces become the ones that are easily seen as well as felt; consuming us whether an addict or not. The weight of all that has been is within the heart of the beholder; and as such has been perceived by that individual. That hell then connects us to the people, places, things, substances or the BLAH that recognizes how we feel; even if it is detrimental to our well being. While it is important for those feelings to be validated, at some point, they must transform into the understanding of what we are capable of doing with the anything and the everything; otherwise we will continue to be lost as well as fractured. The moments, the use of substances, the mistakes, the pain or the BLAH that appear to chain us to hell occur because of ourselves; even though it seems to be the results of something or someone else. It is not our ability to love but our ability to face adversity, separately and together, that determines the strength of ourselves as well as those chains. The beauty is that we can take that which feels like destruction to us and turn it into that which lifts us up; illusions, a part or a moment can never be the real truth about us unless we allow that. Why do you keep trying to turn yourself into something you are not; merely heaven or even just hell? Stay a victim, become a monster, be both of those, appear to be an illusion of perfection or just be the heavell keeper of your life. Know you are a dream as well as a nightmare that is navigating your trail on the circle of heavell; as is everyone else.

Heaven is a place, a state of being, people, things or the BLAH in which only the qualities that are found to be pleasing as well as attractive and acceptable can reside; unhappiness does not and could not ever live there. The classifications of hell are those people, places, things or the BLAH that are awful, unwanted and down right objectional; beauty shuns the anything and the everything that is connected to it. The art of living in heavell is knowing that these are merely the dictionary definitions of the words. The clarity of them, as well as for all words, lives within each of our own hearts; those personal emotional definitions. In any given moment, hour, day or behavior, we can either be a dream or a nightmare; effected by people, places, things, moments and the BLAH. For some I am a dream and for others I am a nightmare; with additional people perceiving that I am a circle of heavell. Which group do you feel knows the real truth about me? Which one do you believe is capable of accepting me while challenging me to do this better; through all of the “f” moments, the love, the laughter, the fear, the pain and the BLAH? Which group surrounds you? Which one is on the inside of you? Happy people do not alter their state of being but unhappy people do; for and because of others, in the hiding and the denying of parts, as well as in the use of substances. I’m not it because you are the heavell keeper of your life; nothing but the whole you will ever do.

Hell will never be that far away even for those who appear to only have or are just heaven; because each of us has it all whether we see that or not. Knowing how you feel about yourself and the things that have happened is the start of letting all of your parts have an equal voice. Yesterday cannot be undone but beginning today, the power is yours to decide how and what you breathe into your heart; as well as the transforming of anger, fear, and pain into the understanding that lifts you up. Be kind to yourself for all the “f” moments or the BLAH but do not repeat today what was done in the yesterdays because tomorrow will end up just being the same; you are in control of your actions and reactions. If the strongest voice within you is hurt, often expressed through anger or even substance abuse, then it is time to feel that; look in the mirror and see all of you while acknowledging what has been. Each of us expresses on the outside what is leading on the inside. It is not a reflection of what we or others deserve but a window into the hurt that continues to be felt; growing in strength through such things as anger. Being a whole circle of heavell is a challenge for everyone; no one is doing this without mistakes including me. Justifying why you are fractured is, has been and will continue to be detrimental to your wellbeing; until you are ready to accept all of your parts. You are the perfect person to love, hate, accept or change the anything and the everything of you; but never to deny any of it. You are more than just a part, or moment or the BLAH so treat the heaven and the hell equally. The beauty of hell is that while things may have been, they need not remain as the definer of you; you are the one who is chaining yourself to hell. Why do you keep trying to turn yourself into something you are not? Come along fallen angel because you are a dream as well as a nightmare and so am I. I believe in all of you but it matters not what I say but instead what every one of your parts has to say. Be only a moment, the BLAH, hell or just be the heavell keeper of your life; breathing in brave while knowing you are scared to be more than what you appear to be or have become comfortable with. Got Heavell?