Nothing prepares us to go through the real things that occur in temporary moments but somehow eventually become the distracting communications from ourselves to ourselves that we mull over and over and over.
Those messages hold us up as if we or our feelings are wrong and we try to escape by imagining ourselves within the journeys of the words that belong to others but using terms correctly does not mean that they won’t still be misinterpreted within the rhythms of what we have met as individuals.
Some of that need comes from the hope of finding certainty within the chaos through outside connections while other parts of it are meant to provide relief by exchanging our vocal pain for the absence of it’s noise by simply stifling it within ourselves.
But closing parts off means that we know ourselves even less, attracting a kind of loneliness in the nothingness, and when they come back as they always do, we are even more unsure of how we will be able to deal with the many forms that grief can show up in.
In other moments, though, there isn’t a reprieve because no one else can ever truly understand the depth of what it has taken to uniquely detail our words by feeling and wandering as deeply as we have and the appearance of the surrounding silence would seem to confirm our separateness.
Our stories, however, were never meant to be painted all the same because life’s information is perceived of and processed as we receive it and that is not an identical fit in anyone.
Every choice that we have made in navigating the build up of what can’t easily be let go of has been an expression of the version of ourselves that is currently released but where we go from here can evolve with our recognizing that two opposing things can exist within a single embrace while we slowly make progress through.
There will never be the right time, experience or weather for us to go in the direction that we want but there will always be us in the genuine design of our artwork that just happens to include the hidden strengths of discovering what isn’t for us.
In this place that is so full of doubt, we are only on speaking terms with the painful darkness because we are the light that makes it feel safe enough to voice its grief and we should exchange our desire to silence it for being the individuals that it can rely on to bring relief through the words that only we know.
Today is another good day to forgive ourselves for having existed as we have because nothing prepared us to love in the dark but we are figuring this out one step at a time.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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