Stories are never written without the personas having a goal or two because the lack of a dream would seem like those characters were endlessly adrift without the sail of hope and no matter what, we want to cheer and feel empowered through those make-believe adventures as well as the real ones in our own lives. Of course, strength displayed by an individual battling mystical beasts in order to save the village is powerful but underneath that visual are the hazy details of that identity’s conflict that he or she is trying to resolve along the way. When it comes to the clashes with the real dragons that we encounter, our fights don’t illicit cheers from a crowd, and no one is yelling “Behind you!” when one of those nasty creatures sneaks up on us but there also isn’t a window that others can look through to see what is pulling us down into the weeds either. Even the strength that’s felt at the beginning of every kind of journey will weaken in the midst of a long and continuous struggle because it’s an authentic feeling that ebbs and flows just as all of our emotions do. How, then, can we configure our hope so that we can keep reading it when it’s light is dulled by a chance of storms, the magic is missing, and the goal feels like it’s gone awry? During Ryan’s substance use years, the ultimate target was simply but loudly for him to be sober by slaying his fire-breathing dragon and then to move his plot around the bend while carrying the blooms from that win. That specific goal was the right dream, but it confined what was possible by not taking into consideration his internal dissention that was fighting against him alongside that nasty dragon. In other words, it was like saying that the task was to carve a giant tree into a beautifully detailed sculpture while not checking to see if he had the right tools to do so. Clearly, he and I didn’t realize that the lack of the necessary items was as detrimental as the limiting ones were and perhaps that view was made murkier because I was polarized on the objective of sobriety. So, what happened to his hope, and mine for that matter, every single time that he fell? Yeah, it slipped farther and farther away from our sight and even the debris-free moments that were along the way lost their magic although that’s exactly what we should have been turning around to read. Shaping hope begins with a want but when we are exhausted and at our weakest because of dragons or feelings that continue to show up in life, that desire will wander off and we will be left adrift without the sail of hope or the memories that we have proven we are possible even if only in a moment. Shaping hope, then, is allowing your goal or how you will get there to be adjusted because those things were decided without knowing the hazy details of the inner conflict that you are trying to resolve and use as tools while also battling a dragon that appears to be invincible. Change is the slow process of adaption and so is shaping hope so that it is always home in our hearts helping us to find strength as we trip and fall along our trails. It’s not just about the flowers but then we don’t always read flowers in the manner that we should particularly when we are tired of the debris and the grief. Love lives in so many ways so have the best day POSSIBLE for you and remember shaping hope is a work of art in progress just like you are. Love Always, Heavell
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