Live The Ride #194

To enjoy our lives is also known as to relish our existence but how is that even possible when having it all holds not only what we desire but also the people, places, feelings, moments and things that we do not? Is it achievable, then, to find appreciation for those tough lessons that we encounter along our trails when the value of dreaded “f” moments and pain is often not perceived of because of what it implies about us? Or what if we get off of the ride before we should and are now walking in circles trying to do a series of moves around the parts that we do not want? This past week a teenager who is going through some very tough moments and feelings asked me if there is a way to avoid the pain, fear and anger. Can you imagine what I thought and then responded with as the mother of a former heroin addict who is no longer here because he also wanted to evade the mess in his life? When we don’t know what to do with the details, we can feel scared and hopeless and we will seek others who agree with our pain and our avoidance of dealing with it. Initially there is a feeling of relief provided from that connection, of being together, but eventually what we wanted to escape will show up for us anyways and that loneliness will return with a voice that is even louder than it had been before. So what do you think my statement was to her? What would you have said? I actually replied “Yes there is, what substance would you like to do in order to not experience your storm also known as your mess? Or perhaps you could hide and or deny it but then that will also make it stronger which is exactly what you don’t want right? So be aware that while you hope to avoid this, there is nothing that you can find on the outside of yourself that will stop what is already breathing on the inside of you. With that in mind, you might as well be who you are and go through with the all of you. If you need help, I will be here waiting for you to say that” In other words, the place that needs us most can’t be made comfortable with people, places and things that are found on the outside of ourselves but we can learn to hold it close through all of it. So is it possible for us to recognize the value of the things that feel like the weight of the world? To eventually be able to locate some sort of appreciation for the items that hurt rather than continue to grieve or be lost because of them? The shortcut answer or green truth is not when we are in the midst of an overwhelming situation or if we only celebrate our flowers. If we choose to lean in, though, for our matter of time and pain, it is within reach when we talk straight about what we are experiencing at the very least to ourselves; to believe in how we feel. This young woman is, after all, not going to be able to laugh until her stomach hurts enough or just think positive thoughts adequately or wish away her mess in order to change what’s there. So this starts with forgiving herself for not knowing how to deal with the particulars of her storm and for wanting to elude all of it because it is all right to feel that way as long as we eventually go into it. She is then going to have to live the ride while getting to know what words hold for her and the moments that at times will be best described with the use of the loud voice of anger because occasionally what hurts or scares us comes out that way even when it shouldn’t. If she falls in words and or actions, she will have to start again because there are no shortcuts when you live the ride in a so very heavell life. This is her, this was Ryan and this is me as well. Each of us are “f” moment makers, the bringers of hell as well as the beholders of beauty as found within each of us while also being fabulous at times. Somewhere in here you can find yourself too because no matter what we do, we all have to live the ride as it goes through our flowers, our weeds and what others bring into our lives; the controversary. In a different truth, then, we don’t have to enjoy every moment or pretend to in order to be all right but we do need to like, love, appreciate and show up for who we are in all the ways that we actually live the ride especially when one box of tissues just won’t do or we want to get off the ride before we should. Have the best day possible for you. Love Always, Heavell