Go Somewhere #218

To hope is to believe in the possibilities of ourselves but when the force of change has enfolded us, the struggles that are a part of transformation make fear feel stronger than those fleeting moments where we are optimistic about our abilities to achieve what we desire. Our wish is that we will outlast whatever it is we are fighting against, so that we may eventually find ourselves in the flowers. However, if the fight carries on and we fall repeatedly in the process, hope will step farther away from our view and disbelief will cause us to doubt that we are able to go somewhere even when we have actually moved just a little closer with each type of movement. Maybe our difficulty of understanding what it takes to change lies in the time required to fight for anything worth fighting for or it’s that overcoming something is a painful process that requires us to alter who we are or possibly it’s just the fact that we have to grapple in the weeds on our trails to begin with. Perhaps, though, the real truth is that the transformation we need has its’ own terms of an agreement, and often they feel so unbelievably unfair that we struggle with desiring it while not wanting to go through it. I am notorious for believing that there has to be an easier route to something, skipping steps along the way, while at the same time being completely aware in other moments that the details always matter. The difference between the two has been in my taking my time in what I am comfortable with versus rushing through and ignoring the things that have felt uncomfortable as well as painful. Change is intimidating but it feels so much scarier when we are brawling within ourselves as we attempt to overcome whatever has a hold on us. When we add others into the melee, things can really get complicated and definitely appear to be impossible especially when our fear or theirs is the loudest voice being heard. So, what if part of the issue is that our fighting and struggling is keeping us walking in circles regardless of the hope for a different outcome each time, we pass this way again? What if we were to take a significant look at the details of ourselves, to understand them, so that we are actually moving with what’s there rather than grappling with it or even denying it? In other words, it’s time to take a breather from the storm and to sit down with all that you are because when it comes to change, you are enough to go somewhere better with yourself rather than wishing that it will somehow just show up to embrace you. Unexpected beauty, the kind that takes time in the shade, is found in the acceptance and the honesty of you as you are right now in this moment, which includes all of your yesterdays as well as your ever-present ability to turn any of your weeds into flowers, today or in the tomorrows, through fondness and safety for yourself. Imagine then, that it’s not that we should hope for a so heavell life to be just with us but rather that we should be fair with ourselves as we live our rides sometimes well and in other moments in the weeds while always carrying what’s possible too. Change is about welcoming the person that you are becoming because of what has been and what has yet to be, but the journey to different isn’t simple nor easy. Go somewhere with yourself, other than a new location on the outside of you, and while you are there, try sharing a little kindness and forgiveness with the perfect person to enfold you. Have the best day possible for you. Love Always, Heavell