In any kind of life there is a thin line between failures and successes because positive outcomes rarely exist without some sort of falling along the way and since the value of a win is often based on the amount of “life” you have to give to make something happen, those easy trails would never be the place that sometime warriors would be found on. Even the margin between what we hate, and what we love is narrow because our add-ons make it possible for us to lean in to hear one or the other depending upon the subject, the moment or the place that we find ourselves in. Paradoxically trust balances on a hairline as well because when there has been a failure of it, we want to see remorse and then be able to forgive but while those words are a part of what defines safety, neither action is a guarantee that a cycle won’t be repeated especially when the why is far more complicated than those outward appearances simply imply, and change has never ever been that easy regardless of the presence of hope. On the surface, all of those terms are familiar to us but what actually gives them meaning is the enfolding depths of our personal experiences or the shading effect that has occurred in our lives. The details that we hold are what make our stories epic even if the “mystical creatures” in our tales are addiction or some other behavior or thing that we don’t want, and they can also be what complicates our ability to transform. Our expectations and imagination encourage us to believe that our shading effect should follow some order or shape but even in the show and tell of art, music and epic tales a variety of elements from light to dark are used to project the amount of “life” in a piece. When the details are missing, we are then left with limited views that leave us wondering what else could be there and that difficulty will facilitate our interpreting what we believe those things are although they rarely contain everything that is really there. In other words, we actually live in our “have dones” and if we unearth what’s buried there, we might just find that the out of the blue things that breathe there are the hidden successes that we need. When you pass this way again, because you will and you should, what victory or small thing did you miss because it wasn’t what was expected nor what you believed it should be? How do you feel about it now? It is easy enough to think that success, fondness, healing and safety are straight lines, but the real truth is that they are a series of movements that takes us all over the place while including failure, sometimes repeatedly, on our rides as a part of the amount of “life” we give to make things happen. This is me and in my epic tale I have been a sometime warrior who slayed dragons and hung from cliffs or fell down at times even though in my show and tell those mystical creatures have appeared in the form of a behavior or thought, and it was my feelings that I was hanging on to rather than a perilous ridge. After all, the shading effect in my life has at times made those tasks feel as if they are as powerful as a legendary beasts appear to be until I recognized that it is my words and details that give them life and just like that, I can throw a plot twist in and defeat them with a little unearthing of treasures in the mess. Be loud in your story because it’s what you are going through with but also be kind because even sometime warriors need to feel fondness and hope in the moments that they are in the weeds. Oh hell, use the shading effect to continue your epic story in an unexpected and yet your kind of successful way. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always Heavell
Characters, in narratives, are revealed through their series of movements and we enthusiastically delve into those stories knowing that an important part of understanding who each individual is can be found in the present-day circumstances but also in the subtle and sometimes hidden truths or details that are disclosed in the right moment about each. Through those things we connect to the personas and we either cheer for the hope that they hold or decry what they represent. Those feel-good stories are not just about a win or the end results of a journey but instead are a ride through the particulars that occur along the way to becoming or overcoming anything. The sagas even embrace the use of unwanted things such pain and doubt to infer that with a little belief ordinary can become extraordinary, that being scared doesn’t mean a lack of courage and to illustrate that out of the blue triumphs are valuable in encouraging us to keep going when we want to lay down and give up. We love those types of narratives because of the possibilities that they hold until, of course, those stories turn out to be a part of our own homes and then we are far more comfortable with the expectations that the details will be hidden, denied or ignored. Part of the problem is that it is far easier for us to value real-life people, places and things through our own field of vision than it is to uncover what it’s really taken, for example, for the story of a field to become what it has and how the power of that can be changed. We often believe that it is better to close the door on a mess than it is to be victorious by turning what’s there into unexpected beauty. In other words, a present-day show and tell of someone may give the appearance of a full narrative but there is always more to delve into then what we perceive of. If we want change to occur and to stay, then we have to understand and enfold the whole saga rather than just a part of it or the pieces that we are enthusiastic about or seem easier. After all, can you imagine a sometime warrior in an epic story saying that he or she won’t fight “mystical creatures” or climb mountains or discover courage in the face of his or her fear or only wanting flowers along the trail to becoming while still expecting it to be a tale of hope, possibilities, triumphs and the overcoming of something? Or what if we only read some of a novel or watch a little of a movie and then speak as if we know all of the details or we only nurture a part of a field while expecting the rest of it to be as good as the small thing that we were willing to help? What would those types of show and tell infer and do we really want that? It is all right to not desire everything in our stories, to even decry some of what’s living there just as it is all right to sit down and rest when we don’t think we can go on but we can’t leave parts of us behind otherwise we will pass this way again and again until we are finally ready to pick them up and change them into what we have always needed them to be as the uncovered out of the blue triumphs that we can locate in the weeds. A win, no matter the size, in the place that needs you most is more valuable than the things that have occurred with ease because your life is an epic tale and in that kind of story fields of flowers are just merely the supporting characters to a full narrative. In fact, and opinion if life were made up of only what we want, the epic tales that we enthusiastically love couldn’t be imagined since there is always subtle and sometimes hidden and yet real truths about life in them right along with those mystical creatures but then we battle our own types in our so very heavell lives too. Imagine addiction as a fire breathing, fear-invoking dragon who seems to be impenetrable but really can be defeated through its’ vulnerable spot that you have to find or you as a sometime warrior who falls down but also hangs on to cliffs in moments that it would be so easy to just let go. What does your present-day show and tell say? Mine says that I am still an “f” moment maker, but the power of the mess and the failed ones are becoming what makes me stronger, particularly those out of the blue triumphs that live in my parts that I hate, and my fabulous moments are now just the supporting characters that remind me that I’m possible when I need to rest. Be loud in your show and tell while also being kind on your journey to becoming or overcoming something because epic tales are ongoing, long sagas, and plot twists happen all the time. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Part of the reason why we love epic tales is because they imply a togetherness and the anticipated triumph in those accounts encourages a belief in ourselves that we are also able to overcome any kind of hell despite the lack of mystical creatures in our stories. The best sagas are the ones where the long journeys are a rollercoaster ride through all sorts of events, suffering, fear and then finally that feeling of relief as the sometime warrior beats the odds because, after all, anything else would cause us to “flip out” In other words, we have the expectation of victory in novels and movies as well as in our lives and if a plot twist seemingly derails that hope, doubt in the whole narrative can take ahold of us. It’s as if that unexpected darkness is able to feed, somehow, the belief that our story stops right there and that we are in fact impossible so we might as well lay down in the weeds. What are epic tales really about though? Simply they are a succession of stories with details that are living loudly in the moments of an individual who is hoping to conquer something over a matter of time not unlike how a song is a part of a series reflecting the particulars of what an artist is going or has gone through rather than a synopsis about his or her whole life. The site of any narrative can make an account appear to be far more interesting, but it isn’t really important because out of the blue, “mystical beasts” or rather the hell can find each of us even in the places where we believe we are safe enough and that location doesn’t determine if we are living an epic tale since it is ours to noisily go through everywhere. Perhaps what discourages us from believing in our stories and our abilities are the thoughts of what our triumphs should look like because it is far easier to view fields of flowers in the light than it is to have plot twists in our lives that requires us to search for the unexpected beauty of the ones that are hidden in the darkness. Imagine then, that you say what you need to say with the idea that you will be victorious in being heard and yet you are not so even though you know your particulars, you begin to doubt your whole narrative. The expectation was for change to immediately and simply occur but what isn’t there is the realization that there is an out of the blue success in those weeds despite the lack of being heard. By speaking, you are learning to show up for yourself while taking a step towards the understanding of what safety and fondness needs to become for you. When our view is limited to the things that we only want or believe should be there, we will spend far more time walking in circles or even falling than if we keep looking for the different truths that live there too. Those out of the blue triumphs are a part of what makes our tales epic particularly when our ride places us in the path of some “mystical creature” or plot twist that seemingly is determined to derail us. Have you been able to locate an unexpected beauty or out of the blue victory or does the idea of finding the treasure in the midst of the chaos seem impossible for you? Or maybe it’s that your expectation of a so very heavell life has been based in the belief that you are either in the flowers or in the weeds, and the plot twist is that both heaven and hell are present in every single moment no matter what your location is? Grab some tissues and look both ways at the succession of your stories because what once made you cry from the pain now might make you laugh until your stomach hurts or what you use to laugh at could turn out to be what has been hidden hurt all along. You never really know what will happen in an epic tale but then that’s a part of why we love them. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
When the accounts of our life journeys are viewed, they are often perceived of as short, uncomplicated versions that are not necessarily the real truth despite what appears to be there, or what we should listen to. Perhaps it’s the time and the details that it would take to understand someone or even ourselves that prevents us from recognizing that a part is never the finished product of a whole but rather a synopsis of a life just as the first line of a composition is a glimpse into what a song has to say. In other words, just because there is a mess behind a door, it doesn’t mean that treasures can’t be found there too or that a melody about the troubles that someone has seen can’t be rearranged to create a victory tune or that the view of a word like “impossible” can’t be moved from its powerful feeling of defeat to become the even stronger belief of “I’m possible” After all, unexpected beauty lives in the complicated places, like the weeds, that we don’t want to be in and the time that it takes to find it depends upon our individual series of movements. In the story of a field, the plot is a diverse and tricky portrayal that involves quests, failures, doubt, disasters, triumphs, rest, fear and courage as well as the ability to affect other fields. There is a supportive cast as well as those whose presence can prevent the field from becoming all that it can be. This is an epic tale in the life of an area but in our preferred ballad form, the end result is what we are most often focused on regardless of the moments and measure that it took to create what’s there. Sometimes, things other than what we want will show up in that place or objects from other fields will find their way into that area despite the best efforts and additionally the items that we thought no longer had the ability to affect the land will appear again and again causing us to “flip out” There will even be periods of doubt where it won’t seem possible to help transform the area, and sometimes that will be the real truth, but that is also when we will need to sit down to hear what isn’t being said and to view what we have not perceived the correct value of rather than continue with the short versions that are so much easier but will rarely, if ever, lead to change. This is the story of a field, but it also could be about a tree in a forest or a relationship or a part of you or whatever you imagine it is about and all of those things are made up of pieces in a whole whose details, victories and failures as well as so much more create an enfolding product that will continue to move even when in the same position. In your epic tale, because any kind of life is one with a sometime warrior who battles things that seem like mystical creatures, what detail have you treated as just one line or a few notes when the real truth is that it is a narrative or composition in you? What is the hell of it? Can it be rearranged to become the unexpected beauty or victory of you? As I have said, Ryan’s addiction was the hell in my life that I absolutely hated, but over time it also taught me to re-value the particulars of not only myself but also Ryan as well as Ashlee and Taylor which led to a better understanding about the other fields within me and around me. Today is the day, or perhaps tomorrow is the one, to start with one piece of you and reassess what it has meant in your life in all the ways that it prevented you from becoming all that you could have been and all that you can be now by moving your view of it. In a different truth but still a very real one, what is impossible is always “I’m possible” on the long and painful trail, although what you find won’t necessarily be the type of flower that you had wished for or even ever imagined could live in the darkness. Remember to always be kind to the person that you are going through all of this with and to be home in the place that needs you most because change starts with enfolding the details of fondness and safety for yourself. Embrace the mess where a yet to be discovered treasure is waiting for you and of course, have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
When we think of epic tales, we imagine the long, adventurous and victorious journeys of heroes as they work to overcome something or someone. Those types of compositions imply that the lead characters are always strong and determined in the face of adversity. In the less obvious parts, though, there is also being scared, weakness, anger and falls as well as giving up as a portion of those stories because when we are in the midst of it, both courage and fear hold our hands but it’s the one we focus on, in any given moment, that feels so possible. In other words, our arrangement of terms, “flipping out”, feelings and beliefs determine how we view our or someone else’s narrative and often only a part of an account is considered when valuing the whole. So, let’s start here with your story where you are not actually battling mythical creatures or perhaps believing in your triumphs, but you are with each step re-defining your pain, safety and love and your skills of coping to find the unexpected beauty of you. After all, epic tales wouldn’t be told nor actually be possible if they were about perfect trails and fields of flowers rather than the history of those who are in any kind of hell and hoping to find a way through even if the odds are against them. In a life with you, you get to decide what your moments meant as you pass that way again and with each new, and enfolding moment, you can either keep repeating the view of the yesterdays while hoping that change will somehow find you or you can go somewhere else with what has been by moving your perspective to include more of you. The picture included with today’s blog has the beginning notes of the song “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” Just because those notes are in a particular order in that composition, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be rearranged, to be used differently, to create another one. In a life with you, the same thing can be said about you. Just because you have certain details that you hold, it doesn’t mean that you can’t take what’s there and use it to create something else, moving each one until you understand yourself better and can show up for all of you. That specific song was on repeat for years for me because it was easy and familiar to place things as I always had and yet I didn’t perceive that I would continue to locate the same outcome by doing so. The truth of what that song represented back then hasn’t changed even though it doesn’t hold the same meaning or presence for me today and I will always carry it with me as a part of who I was and how I am becoming who I am now. My life is an epic tale of courage and fear, of falling and defiantly throwing myself off of cliffs, of determination and laying down, of regret and grief, of “f” moments as well as the repeating of cycles for far longer than they should have been. At times it did feel as if I were attempting to slay mythical creatures, those tricky drugs, during Ryan’s substance use. It was also like closing a door to hide what was there while expecting the mess behind it to somehow rearrange itself into what I wanted and then being surprised and angry that it still looked the same when I opened the door to take a peek at it. There were and are, of course, triumphs but they have not always been in the manner that I thought nor what I wished they would be because that’s how unexpected beauty is created and then found in the darkness. Change is not just the stopping of a behavior or a choice because it’s a series of movements as a part of the process of discovering who we are in all the ways that we actually live as we learn to painfully reposition the things that we need to. I now have a better perception of why it took so long for me to embrace that unwelcoming task and the reason, which is the understanding instead of the justification, of why it seemed so impossible for Ryan as well especially in his battle with mythical creatures. That knowledge came as an unexpected beauty that was hidden in the hell of his addiction, and I am grateful for that tough lesson even though I hate the trail that took me there. In a life with you, what heaven have you located in your hell? What song has been on repeat for you, and can you now rearrange it to better express who you are in this moment? Or is it still the one that says what you need to say and if so, why? Be kind to the person that you are going through all of this with and even if no one else changes, you can move your focus so that you go from being safe enough to carrying fondness and safety for all that you are. Oh hell, just grab some tissues because the ride in a so very heavell life will make you cry as well as laugh until your stomach hurts so you might as well use all of your things to help yourself in your epic tale. Have the best day possible for you. Love Always, Heavell
To hope is to believe in the possibilities of ourselves but when the force of change has enfolded us, the struggles that are a part of transformation make fear feel stronger than those fleeting moments where we are optimistic about our abilities to achieve what we desire. Our wish is that we will outlast whatever it is we are fighting against, so that we may eventually find ourselves in the flowers. However, if the fight carries on and we fall repeatedly in the process, hope will step farther away from our view and disbelief will cause us to doubt that we are able to go somewhere even when we have actually moved just a little closer with each type of movement. Maybe our difficulty of understanding what it takes to change lies in the time required to fight for anything worth fighting for or it’s that overcoming something is a painful process that requires us to alter who we are or possibly it’s just the fact that we have to grapple in the weeds on our trails to begin with. Perhaps, though, the real truth is that the transformation we need has its’ own terms of an agreement, and often they feel so unbelievably unfair that we struggle with desiring it while not wanting to go through it. I am notorious for believing that there has to be an easier route to something, skipping steps along the way, while at the same time being completely aware in other moments that the details always matter. The difference between the two has been in my taking my time in what I am comfortable with versus rushing through and ignoring the things that have felt uncomfortable as well as painful. Change is intimidating but it feels so much scarier when we are brawling within ourselves as we attempt to overcome whatever has a hold on us. When we add others into the melee, things can really get complicated and definitely appear to be impossible especially when our fear or theirs is the loudest voice being heard. So, what if part of the issue is that our fighting and struggling is keeping us walking in circles regardless of the hope for a different outcome each time, we pass this way again? What if we were to take a significant look at the details of ourselves, to understand them, so that we are actually moving with what’s there rather than grappling with it or even denying it? In other words, it’s time to take a breather from the storm and to sit down with all that you are because when it comes to change, you are enough to go somewhere better with yourself rather than wishing that it will somehow just show up to embrace you. Unexpected beauty, the kind that takes time in the shade, is found in the acceptance and the honesty of you as you are right now in this moment, which includes all of your yesterdays as well as your ever-present ability to turn any of your weeds into flowers, today or in the tomorrows, through fondness and safety for yourself. Imagine then, that it’s not that we should hope for a so heavell life to be just with us but rather that we should be fair with ourselves as we live our rides sometimes well and in other moments in the weeds while always carrying what’s possible too. Change is about welcoming the person that you are becoming because of what has been and what has yet to be, but the journey to different isn’t simple nor easy. Go somewhere with yourself, other than a new location on the outside of you, and while you are there, try sharing a little kindness and forgiveness with the perfect person to enfold you. Have the best day possible for you. Love Always, Heavell
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