Moments upon moments have drifted onto our pages, forming an inside community whose inhabitants use our feelings to move around the meanings of our words and even though some of our terms are thought to be bright, not all of their energy prevents storms from bumping us into the shadows.
Sometimes hope hurts because dragons lean close to whisper about all the past ones that didn’t go as planned and how we are still grieving those times.
Sometimes hope hurts because we are confident about yesterday’s stumbles and unsure of the possibilities in an unknown tomorrow.
Sometimes hope hurts because desires are things that we make up as we go along but expectations lack the nourishment that imagination needs in order to make those seeds grow.
Sometimes hope hurts because whether it goes as we wish or not, we still won’t have figured out how to be easy with ourselves.
Sometimes hope hurts because there’s something about giving our all and not being sure that our all prepares us enough if dreams were to show up.
Sometimes hope hurts because we want change, but the weather of our emotions and thoughts sees value in our playing it safe regardless of how clear the path ahead may be.
Sometimes hope hurts because there are so many ways to be lost in the noise of the crowd that it’s hard to recognize that even weeds in a garden line the way for wishes.
Sometimes hope hurts because in wanting different today, there’s a vulnerability in acknowledging that we probably still haven’t forgiven ourselves for being in the same spot in another location on a separate day.
Sometimes hope hurts because we aren’t just reading our stories, we are also writing them and up until this very moment, our artistry seems to have snuffed out the light and muddied the colors.
Sometimes hope hurts because while it’s filled with the beauty of optimism, its impermanence means that it has to keep being redefined as life does its life-ing thing and our communities hold even longer lists.
This is me and even though hope looks the same when we talk about it, the energy of the inside community plans whether tears fall because sometimes hope hurts or that there will be drops of moisture nourished by a laughter that is as warm and bright as the sun.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
In our vocabularies, there is a single word that can change the direction of every story and while we might believe that kind of value is found within the familiar designation of love, loving others doesn’t always convey that we have a grasp on how the energies of life feel for them.
Each of us desires to be understood but the definition of what that entails is not the same for everyone nor is every person capable of taking action in order to provide it to someone else and that mismatch of vibrations can leave us feeling lonely in an area filled with people who we know care about us as we do for them.
It’s difficult to be connected to others, though, when our attachment to ourselves contains the idea that in order for us to be heard, we need a different person to show up and sympathize with our details so that we may experience relief from our feels even if only for a moment.
How we have been aware of that pain taking up space in our stories has served a purpose but as many times as we have repeated those steps, they have never once contributed to the understanding and the safety that we have been chasing with hope in our hearts.
Changing those familiar movements, then, can make us feel fearful particularly since we don’t believe in what we can’t see, we are uncomfortable with supporting ourselves and we would prefer to skip to the destination where we will finally just be happy.
On our journeys, though, every moment has been an act of our becoming and by permitting space between our now and the place that we have yet to get to, we determine the shape that we will take along the way instead of the grief continuing to decide for us.
As we move into the new year, let us let go of the kind of communication that the yesterdays outlined for us and substitute it with listening to understand, particularly when the stuff that dragons have to say is only powerful if we don’t.
May 2024 be the year that we grasp that the vibe of love is an illuminating light in our stories but the energy of understanding is the lighthouse that’s needed for the stuff that limits our view of that endearment.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
One simple step towards a goal can be the catalyst of change through the cooperative movement of our heart, mind and body but there are times when each of those parts can be identified as a dragon that is able to cast the shadows that push a thing called hope out of our sight. It might seem as if those mystical beasts know the exact type of heart-break songs to sing but it’s really the designations that we give each to hold that encourages those connections to keep showing up to prevent us from believing in ourselves. In other words, if a single term like objective can frame a plan for transformation, then it is possible for a prompt that has spent far more time within our view to just as easily unmount it, leaving us sensitive to what our previous stumbling has implied as well as questioning whether tomorrow will be a repeat of what has already been. Imagine the color blue and how it has different hues that depict the sky, the ocean and the love that we have for someone whose eyes are color-washed in that pigment. In another version, its used as a familiar name that plainly describes the sadness and the grief that frequently breathes so loudly within us. Everything that we list as fitting under the expression of blue is true as the results of our own encounters and it’s effortless for those things to affect us, to fluctuate in power or to even fade into the background where they can continue to live unseen. Then there is the sun and the friendly shade of yellow that portrays it and yet it might not be a tone that we want to look at or carry a shield that has been splashed with it, but we will desire the flowers that embody it if that’s what is growing along someone else’s trail. It’s even a light that shines like a beacon in the darkness and it’s so welcoming that the moon claims it as its stain as well. Giving a voice to our words and pigmentations helps us to understand the separate flows of our thoughts, emotions and physical energy. Walking through that reshaping assists us in distinguishing which one of those categories is actually stepping back into what has been a consistent intimate response rather than feeling that the whole is falling or has too because a part is harmonizing with dragons. Remember, red may be the color that is commonly used to illustrate love, but the greatest signifier of the warmth, brightness and strength of that sentiment is actually represented by your favorite dye. So, if you have left that out of your story, then it’s natural for you to perceive that it’s been a dark one when really all you have needed to do is to give rise to painting your life with every beat that you have experienced and has changed along your epic journey.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We are hooked on the notions of what establishes someone as an artist, writer, hero, beautiful, determined, happy or grieving but when we place specific concepts into designated categories, we eclipse our ability to envision how we are and can be all of those things, in different ways, in our own stories. It’s so comfortable for us to view those depictions as living in the tales of others, but on our trails, they grow through the magic of what we pour into them and whether those thoughts and feelings are nourishing to our seeds or not. For instance, are there unswerving moments where your courage has sparkled such as your beaming smile does, or have you felt weak and been in mourning because that beacon’s light doesn’t appear to function within you? Or when it comes to art, can you throw caution to the wind and add lots of pigments to the mix to portray all of your emotions, or are you lost in the uncomfortableness of coloring outside of the lines as well as adverse to using strong hues to unleash what you feel? What, then, does perseverance hold in its plots that sings harmoniously for you or is that a word that you believe you can’t possibly bring to bloom because the rain has thinned your fertilizer so much so that there’s nothing left to encourage development? When it comes to beauty, how many terms can you affectionately list to describe your work of art in progress or is that chapter of love still waiting for you to look into the mirror to see the wonderful bits that keep going despite the marks that make you want to hide from that particular kind of reflective object? Then there is your belief of what makes a hero and the life that classification lives, in comparison to the authentic once unknown type of fighter who plants seeds of trying while battling dragons, trips through the debris of “f” moments and often feels fear although the occasional grin implies otherwise. How does knowing who you are through your heartbeats help you to live the story that you are? Well, our always enfolding relationship with the everything that is home within us is what provides the nutrients, piece by piece, to grow our joy as well as our self-control and being disconnected from that information leaves us off-course in the midst of sunless chaos. So, empty spaces, definitions that don’t fit or are missing, lack of color-wash and old melodies are what cause those necessary heart items to feel absent from us rather than it being a grouping of our prickle moments that would have us believe the idea that the presence of their darkness means it’s impossible for our fields to flourish with what we need in order to go through. Strong links furnish us with a soft place to fall when our stumbles happen in the weeds or in conflicts with mystical beasts and at the end of the day, you are going to feel some way so it might as well be a position where you embrace you with understanding. After all, we are harder on our own wellbeing than any of our dents could ever be because when we view those things, what we see are the impressions of flaws but what’s really there are lots of small points of light asking for us to become familiar with what has been once unknown.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
The gray that enfolds us with its sun-blocking downpours implies that the rays of the sun aren’t shining on our trails, but the real truth is that the magic of the light doesn’t stop radiating and flowers don’t cease to bloom just because there are storms in our lives. Knowing, however, that shiny beams are still around despite our inability to experience their warmth or that colors continue to maintain their beauty in the face of the grayness doesn’t really make us feel better, now does it? Standing on the outside gives us a different field of vision than someone living an experience, but well-intentioned sunny-side words are not always as liberating as wishes plan for them to be. When we blend the sun with the rain, there are times when our palettes become muddy and what we hear is the belittling of the dragons that we are encircled by rather than the hoped for collaborative dreams that say there is joy in the distance where blue skies are the possibilities of the tomorrows. The sunshine simply embodies contentment but when we are sitting in the weeds and our shelters leak, what we need is the acknowledgement of the moments where that luminary has shined the least. Within that position is the remembrance that we have actually seen it casting light on our journeys which strengthens our belief in ourselves just as how noticing the spots that the showers have been the strongest allows us to remember that so many others received little to no moisture at all. We are not always lost or shaken on our paths but when we are, thinking that what we have encountered can’t also be used as a tool to help ourselves effects our confidence far more than missed goals or loud “f” moments do. So here goes nothing with the word of the day, obsession, and how it has assisted in illustrating the idea of the sunshine as something that occurs when you don’t have cloudbursts rather than that happiness comes from the stability of slowly understanding and overcoming the dragons that live in those storms. So, when has joy felt the littlest in your life? Have you been able to see those as merely parts, or have you been polarized with the thoughts that your whole journey has been sun-blocked because of some unhappy events? Our words stay with us but how they are defined relies upon what we pour into them and while we have been comfortable with the straightforwardness of the black, the white and a few grays, it doesn’t mean that we can’t start adding the different hues that edge what has already been familiar. Have you thought about flinging some cheery yellow onto your canvas to brighten the shadows or perhaps illuminating the background with a really pretty blue to prompt the memory of how everything that we are comfortable with can be clarified in a different way? After all, in the mix, the darkness has its own light but it’s hard to notice it while staring at the blossoms on another trail, the color of love also holds the hand of anger but what you feel is what you believe about it and the warmth from some of your sunny days will leave you wishing for the relief of the cloud cover found only in the chance of storms that have come to water the seeds of trying that you didn’t even know had been planted.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We can locate, buried, in the soil of our memories all of the dark and the light moments that we have planted there. Without even moving, we can trek through, again and again, every spot that holds our experiences while nourishing ourselves as well as those sites with our visits. How long we linger at each encounter depends on whether we are engrossed in the ones radiating a warmth that encompasses us like a hug or standing in the other places where the moisture spills over into the crevices of our hearts and slowly washes away our self-assurance. It’s no surprise that we would want to avoid the plots that are hurt-filled but as it happens, the best laid plans cannot prevent those types of emotions from finding a way to express themselves despite our efforts to look away or to keep our view on what we want. The idea is that if we don’t accompany or focus on our pain, it won’t follow us on our rides. Our hearts, though, will always call on us to find the different truths for our weight of the world that can show up to block the sun when there aren’t even any clouds in the sky to impede our sight of it. Take the word of the day, obsession, and encircle your perceived failures and feel how your fascination of leaning into their downside has reduced your belief about yourself into pieces which makes goals feel impossible in spite of a thing called hope. Now, rotate your view of blunders in order to press in close to hear the quieter communications of the root-systems of grief as they thrive beneath the surface of our miscues. So often our enthusiasm for growth has us wishing to turn pages with the hope that, around the next bend, our stories will blossom unhindered but time after time, the labyrinth of our dragons and life will reach out to halt those sprouts in the same manner that rose bushes climb over the plants that are in their way of having the best symmetry with the light. What we use as shelter on our trails frequently isn’t capable of helping us to feel safe because a fastened door meant to keep out the rain can still leak, and a different closed entryway prevents us from being curious about what additional songs can be created by rearranging the notes of the “F” melody that makes us cry. In the yesterdays, the phrase “here goes nothing” was a self-deprecating word choice that conveyed the idea that despite trying, nil would be the results. About several flowers ago, that cluster changed to represent that something would occur because even if it doesn’t work out, to attempt is to make an effort which is of course how everything begins. Hope is a shield that we carry with us as we walk and stumble along on our paths, but it isn’t a navigational system that will warn us about the firmly fixed roots of weeds or guide us away from the upcoming debris. Dreams are the visual proof that we can imagine writing in color, but we are the ones that have to move from the comfortableness and familiarity of painting with only the black and white hues. So here goes nothing on our heart journeys where every time we look upon our moments and our feelings, we have the opportunity to hold them and ourselves a little bit better by changing or reshaping what we have believed has been flourishing there. After all, just because we can see beauty in the light doesn’t mean that the growth of it hasn’t been happening in the dark as well.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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