We all have moments that we want more of and others that we want to leave behind that make hope a necessary accessory on our travels but there are also times when we clasp it’s hand and it feels like a burden.
The marks of the yesterdays have left us unsure and our hearts and minds call for the kind of safety that we think can be found in the idea of “seeing is believing” otherwise that hope is merely a reminder of what’s impossible for us.
But there are some days where we don’t feel all right and the only investment that we are capable of making is in existing minute to minute and the guarantee that we want to see is blocked by the weather of our emotions, leaving us with more questions than our wished for answer.
Its all of the things that have made a home within us, though, that makes it possible for us to have the aspirations to transition and to also imagine that different is possible without knowing what that might look like but our fear tells us that change can only occur in a specific manner and that we can’t be uncertain if we want to move towards it.
When we detach the constraints that we ourselves have placed on hope and give it the space to fluctuate as we do, it becomes the capacity to believe in who we are on the days that our tears represent our laughter right through to the ones in which our grief weighs us down.
So here’s to the hope that pushes us out of our comfort zones with the knowledge that it isn’t our unwanted pieces, goals or the way that we walk that creates doubt but it is the quality of the relationship that we have with ourselves that either misaligns our expectations with the desire for perfection or anchors us in the understanding that progress is the process of learning as we go.
Not everything is beautiful in the stories that we live and it isn’t always easy to verbalize what we are experiencing but when we can just acknowledge those feels as they arise, we become the light that our hope has been searching for all along.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Between the events of the yesterdays and the change that we are hoping to see in the tomorrows is the process of our moving back and forth from the pain that has captivated us for so long to learning to let go of the ways that we have gotten use to stuffing that sorrow onto our pages.
When that action moves quickly, its easy to smile while holding the hand of hope but during the days where the poetry of our words and emotions create obstacles, it’s hard for us to believe in our ability to step forward from the darkness in our stories.
Our knowledge, though, of light as well as the lack of it comes from both being present in our lives just as our tears express our awareness of the laughter and the sadness that also coexists within us so transforming what isn’t working on our journeys is really a day by day adjustment of the parameters of what we think the right lighting should look like.
Who we hope to be in the future doesn’t need for us to walk in the perfect manner but instead to practice embracing the duality that we are living by surrounding the storms of our uncertainty with past progress and our fear with the understanding that we have made it to this very moment with courage also accompanying us and both will arrive together in the next one as well.
So if we need somewhere to begin, let’s start by releasing our grasp on the idea that our imperfect in and out dance moves as sometime warriors prevents us from healing and growing in the manner that the noise of our grief has been inviting us to show up for all along.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
While traveling on our authentic journeys, we have absorbed experiences and then turned the resulting emotions into the conversations of our hearts and minds that lock us away in the records of what we have come to love and to hate about the light and the darkness of ourselves.
Each day our artistry draws from those familiar designs of yesterday’s seeds and any unresolved conflict that has framed our previous steps will continue to nudge us as our view of the future blends our hope with our fear that the past strife will pull us back or that some other kind of impossible dragon will be waiting around the bend.
Those layers are filled with words that we don’t want to hear in our stories and we hold our breath while dreaming of never having met those feels that make us the art that we are or in at least leaving behind the power of their reality even though that would also mean quitting the pretty parts that live there as well.
The itineraries of our quests to move forward contain the reasons why we want to do so but on those days when that presence of our distractions rewinds time for us, also knowing the grounds for why not us, can help in finding the confidence to change how we feel about our former uncomfortable spaces and how we will keep going in the upcoming sun’s random appearances along our paths.
So ask yourself this question, “If I could go back to those done moments without being able to change how I lived in them, what care labels would I now follow to assist in my being all right with those touches that will remain written on my pages?”
Solace can be found in our very own words but it will always feel fleeting, just like happiness, if we believe that it is only possible for us to be loved when we aren’t tripping over debris or gathering weeds on our imperfect expeditions.
In a so very heavell life, the overtone is that we should be positive that we can fall at any time along our unchartered trails but that what we tell ourselves in that position will either illuminate our way through or continue our distracting discussions about how we hate it when the darkness pulls us back from the sunlight.
This is men’s mental health month and it is a good time to ask even those who smile, “What do you think will happen if you seek assistance with what you are going through?” because sometimes the light shows up in the form of simply asking better questions of ourselves as well as others.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Some of our days are filled with not being all right and when we don’t have the words to climb above the darkness that has been in a long standing relationship with us, finding opportunities to trust in our works of art can feel as elusive as the light is in those moments.
At times that discomfort makes sense while in others the only reason why it continues to travel with us is because of its ability to connect us to our past spaces, however it is not the memories that hold us captive but rather our misconception of those negative emotions and what we think they have to say about us.
Having unwanted feels makes it seem as if there is something wrong with us when in actuality, that pain is the reach of the problematic events that have touched our hearts that then affect our confidence regardless of the climate conditions in our areas.
Our muddy beliefs about what was in our moments continue to be projected into what is our now because despite our deeply planting the emotions that we hoped would never surface again, it is merely that easy for the same version that coped in the midst of the chaos of the yesterdays, to reappear as our known response to today and even tomorrow.
Everything that we have done has worked to get us to this very point and even though it may not feel like it, who we are becoming has needed us to get at least this far on our journeys but that doesn’t mean that we have to stay in our current positions just because we find ourselves in the same locations.
We can’t always control what gets put into our plots nor the elements that get stirred up with those things but to dispense possibility into the dark parts, we must accept feeling the rhythms that beat within us while still not allowing the varying energies of those emotions to become what we forever believe to be the truth about ourselves.
The fact is we won’t be able to change the comings and goings of either the darkness or the light but we can transform our discussions about their presence in our narratives as revolving characters that rely upon us to mention them in the manner that we do.
It’s never been just about the flowers or the weeds because regardless of our fluctuating lighting, it is still simply us learning to garden in all sorts of weather and that artistry will always take the time that it does for each of us.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Walking along our trails with the isolation of our emotional testimonies surrounding us, builds upon our feelings of separation that then push the idea of our ever truly being happy further into a gated enclosure whose threshold appears to be hidden from us.
Even the hope of writing about a sunny day on tomorrow’s page can’t keep those same negative thoughts from stepping forward to cast the shadows that remind us of the parameters of the boundaries that were already established for us in the defining moments of the yesterdays.
It’s hard to find safety and love in the narratives that confine our beauty and contentment within specific details as well as time frames while also allowing the dragons of debris and decay the freedom to roam freely throughout the gardens of our hearts and minds.
It doesn’t make sense, then, for us to continue to write about those places of reference because continually planting ourselves in the same words that have left us grieving for what has been and feeds our fear of what will never be, won’t lead to us finding what we like about our authenticity.
Boundaries have the ability to take our breath away when we use them to limit the merit of even the smallest flickers of our joy but they also have the capacity to ease our suffering when we use them to cut off the flourishing belittling that has prevented our taking responsibility for how we grow in both the dark and the light.
We’ve been here before and we might be here again on some more days but despite what our defeatist type of storytelling would have us believe, our travels have never been limited to our needing the sun to see, flowers to be happy or the right lighting to be of value.
Just for today be the sometime warrior that remembers your worth on the saddest of days, laughs until your stomach hurts in the pretty parts and slays the boundaries of both areas so that you are not defined by any particular event but instead by your being present for all of it.
It’s addiction awareness week and our ability to fight any kind of dragon relies on our opening up to all of what we know about ourselves instead of being stuck in the emotional cycles of what we believe to be true that make those creatures seem so invincible to us.
It’s also a week to be aware that there are many people awaiting transplants and that our series of movements can include being the sometime warrior in the darkness of someone else’s epic tale. Please consider signing up to be a living donor.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
When we scan the pages of our stories, we measure the value of ourselves not through the presence of all of our moments but along the darkness that has been able to makes us forget the uniqueness of the rest of our lines.
As we pause in those energies, we don’t feel them as something that once was, we experience them as if they are next to us casting shadows for everyone to notice and judge.
All narratives, to some degree, contain the absence of light in their contents and while we know that to be true, we also believe that the existence of our particular glitches separates us from being able to connect with anyone else.
We dream of changing that heavy sense of being alone in a room full of people but its very difficult to trust ourselves to be able to do so when we are distracted by the reminders that we should have been more aware of the chances for dragons and avoided them to begin with.
In other words, its not that we actually fear our falling or not knowing if there is another stumble around the bend however we are terrified of the rejection and the unkind noises that speak so loudly in and around us as we roughly practice life on our unguided travels.
The power of our darkness seems so limiting but it is only one aspect that affects us as the reality is that we are also experiencing that confinement as a consequence of the boundaries that we have placed around the definition of what it means to be happy without considering that it has infinite possibilities.
Regardless of how we have anchored ourselves as ineffective characters on our prior storylines, we can at any point transform ourselves into sometime warriors that understand that we don’t always have the right lighting because there are moments in which leaning into the attachment of our old visibility feels less risky for us.
Accepting ourselves means taking responsibility for who we have been and how our fully expressed feels in those places were our valid responses at the time but that, today, we can unlock the gloom’s hold on us with the support that will prevent it from darkening our future pathways before we have even arrived.
Who we are becoming is building upon our yesterdays and it can only be repeated if our field of view continues to listen to the voices echoing in the ebb and flow of our emotions rather than including all of our other distinct aspects that make us so very capable if we would just stop and look at them.
Our journeys are filled with challenges and to begin turning our loss of balance in those conflicts into our walking in a beautiful mess, we have to expand our known methods of how flowers grow to allow room for the changes in the weather and the lighting as well as ourselves.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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