Walking along our trails with the isolation of our emotional testimonies surrounding us, builds upon our feelings of separation that then push the idea of our ever truly being happy further into a gated enclosure whose threshold appears to be hidden from us.
Even the hope of writing about a sunny day on tomorrow’s page can’t keep those same negative thoughts from stepping forward to cast the shadows that remind us of the parameters of the boundaries that were already established for us in the defining moments of the yesterdays.
It’s hard to find safety and love in the narratives that confine our beauty and contentment within specific details as well as time frames while also allowing the dragons of debris and decay the freedom to roam freely throughout the gardens of our hearts and minds.
It doesn’t make sense, then, for us to continue to write about those places of reference because continually planting ourselves in the same words that have left us grieving for what has been and feeds our fear of what will never be, won’t lead to us finding what we like about our authenticity.
Boundaries have the ability to take our breath away when we use them to limit the merit of even the smallest flickers of our joy but they also have the capacity to ease our suffering when we use them to cut off the flourishing belittling that has prevented our taking responsibility for how we grow in both the dark and the light.
We’ve been here before and we might be here again on some more days but despite what our defeatist type of storytelling would have us believe, our travels have never been limited to our needing the sun to see, flowers to be happy or the right lighting to be of value.
Just for today be the sometime warrior that remembers your worth on the saddest of days, laughs until your stomach hurts in the pretty parts and slays the boundaries of both areas so that you are not defined by any particular event but instead by your being present for all of it.
It’s addiction awareness week and our ability to fight any kind of dragon relies on our opening up to all of what we know about ourselves instead of being stuck in the emotional cycles of what we believe to be true that make those creatures seem so invincible to us.
It’s also a week to be aware that there are many people awaiting transplants and that our series of movements can include being the sometime warrior in the darkness of someone else’s epic tale. Please consider signing up to be a living donor.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
When we scan the pages of our stories, we measure the value of ourselves not through the presence of all of our moments but along the darkness that has been able to makes us forget the uniqueness of the rest of our lines.
As we pause in those energies, we don’t feel them as something that once was, we experience them as if they are next to us casting shadows for everyone to notice and judge.
All narratives, to some degree, contain the absence of light in their contents and while we know that to be true, we also believe that the existence of our particular glitches separates us from being able to connect with anyone else.
We dream of changing that heavy sense of being alone in a room full of people but its very difficult to trust ourselves to be able to do so when we are distracted by the reminders that we should have been more aware of the chances for dragons and avoided them to begin with.
In other words, its not that we actually fear our falling or not knowing if there is another stumble around the bend however we are terrified of the rejection and the unkind noises that speak so loudly in and around us as we roughly practice life on our unguided travels.
The power of our darkness seems so limiting but it is only one aspect that affects us as the reality is that we are also experiencing that confinement as a consequence of the boundaries that we have placed around the definition of what it means to be happy without considering that it has infinite possibilities.
Regardless of how we have anchored ourselves as ineffective characters on our prior storylines, we can at any point transform ourselves into sometime warriors that understand that we don’t always have the right lighting because there are moments in which leaning into the attachment of our old visibility feels less risky for us.
Accepting ourselves means taking responsibility for who we have been and how our fully expressed feels in those places were our valid responses at the time but that, today, we can unlock the gloom’s hold on us with the support that will prevent it from darkening our future pathways before we have even arrived.
Who we are becoming is building upon our yesterdays and it can only be repeated if our field of view continues to listen to the voices echoing in the ebb and flow of our emotions rather than including all of our other distinct aspects that make us so very capable if we would just stop and look at them.
Our journeys are filled with challenges and to begin turning our loss of balance in those conflicts into our walking in a beautiful mess, we have to expand our known methods of how flowers grow to allow room for the changes in the weather and the lighting as well as ourselves.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Within our perspective that success will lead to our being happy, we lean into the idea that some of our yesterdays limit our options for today so it is far better for us to bury those feels in the dark then it is for them to continue to have close contact with the light of our hopes for tomorrow.
Our dedication to that course of action seems beneficial as those pieces slip out of sight, but not allowing room for the intertwinement of the grief that appears along our trails grants our various points of sadness the power to become our belief of merely existing in a gloomy life.
We don’t live in the past but we certainly visit with it’s history as it continues to influence us and learning to breathe in those particular spots that have left us gasping for air does not stand for covering them up but instead that we should not tolerate the fear of having been imperfect in those places or the ones that will eventually appear in the unknowns of the future.
The absence of light cannot let go of the darkness that we carry nor can disbelief in ourselves expel the dislike that we feel about our authentic-ness but our hands-on commitment to knowing all of who we are is what will help us to take responsibility for how we feel in the broken-hearted moments as well as just the pretty parts.
Unhappy slices do not have the ability to hold us back but our being unaware that they serve a purpose in our stories and that it takes time to discover what those events have hidden in them certainly does.
The aim isn’t to be happy with the debris but it is to understand how to love ourselves better through the extended teaching process of them while also appreciating the breaks in the storms.
So go to the various pages where you have assigned the meaning of your feelings and recognize that those younger versions of your definitions were never meant to be the guide for the rest of your life as the emotions from the yesterdays are merely some of the countless things that you can continue to build on to support yourself to a greater degree today.
It has never been about the flowers as the happiness that comes from them will fade in our memories and they are not the correct shelters for us in the weeds because of that ability to decay but being able to be content with ourselves as works of art in progress will always be the right lighting for the different kinds of dragons, darkness and weather that exist along the paths in so very heavell lives.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We often hear that we should follow our hearts and if our tunes are expressing the soft rhythms that we can effortlessly travel with, it’s easy to believe in that, but when our bundled feels also hold the kind of sorrow that stays so close to us that it’s gloom casts itself from one end of the yesterdays to our current point in time, our movement becomes restricted.
Generally what we hear in the ebb and flow of our thoughts and feelings are not the gentler voices that we want to perceive of as those usually slip unnoticed into the background as soon as those repetitive loud notes begin to play.
It’s no wonder why we struggle to imagine ourselves as being possible with those constant displays of emotions weighing us down as well the implications that, somehow, they describe us better than we could ever hope to.
For some, the answer to that pain and moving forward is to exist right where we are in this moment while no longer considering the previous days nor worrying about the tomorrows but for others, the past, present and future are equal in our stories which means that we can’t go ahead without being aware of the dark and the light that we have been building upon.
So, if we cannot advance as the results of what we have come to believe about ourselves, then perhaps that’s because we have given the emotions that we put together in our narratives, the power to choose merely a little bit of who we are, out of all that we actually are, and then allowed them to speak as if they hold our value.
What if, though, that noise is not trying to point out that we are weak but that those parts need help and until we are willing to be vulnerable enough to open up the spaces, they will remain as the prickles that continue to pierce our hearts and minds with their sounds?
Darkness is the absence of light and the only way to change its appearance is by our bringing luminosity to those areas and our being authentic conveys the truth that we hold both the ability to illuminate through what we know and to also be insufficient in that brightness from the shadows of our own beliefs.
Following our hearts doesn’t mean that we should abandon who we are by trailing around with our feelings but it does indicate that we should dance a little more in the places where that noise calls to us by way of its loud and unwanted beats.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We paint the pictures of our hearts through the closeness of the lines in our stories and even when it isn’t dark outside, we add the moments that have been to our blank pages as the consistent reminders of why we have abandoned the homes within ourselves.
What attracts us to those marks of fragility is the way in which our darkness leverages itself as an embrace that we can rely on in our responses to the uncertainty of what is ahead as well as when we, once again, find ourselves in the weeds.
Our perception of ourselves has held the belief that being uneasy with or fearful of the unknown is the same as being incapable of navigating the uncharted sheets of our stories so keeping what’s familiar with us gives us a sense of safety even when it’s a painful hug.
We have also relied on the idea that having off-color pieces means that we, as a whole, are weak when those vulnerable items of ours are merely voicing that more care is required from us for the hurt to feel enfolded while still being represented within the pigments of our hearts.
The reality is that we are aware that we have been unsuccessful at various points in our lives but that sorrow within our narratives is not proof of our being broken as those steps, even as the incorrect ones, are only some of the examples of the diverse ways that we have engaged with the expansion and constriction in our lives.
What we believe and what we know to be true about ourselves are two very different things and the power of how we view both, affects whether our setbacks and grief continue to taint our pages or not.
Beliefs are the results of the emotions that have filled us from our encounters and while we are meant to feel them in order to understand ourselves better, we were never supposed to be at war on the inside by becoming them.
In knowing the truth about ourselves, we allow all of our facts to be present in our hearts and minds because in the process of the ecosystems of our gardens, our presence does not exist solely in the moments of the storms nor are we only valuable in just the pretty parts.
As real-life stories go, it has never actually been possible for any of us to always be right and yet we are not willing to be wrong, so if we must let go of something, let it be our continuous living within our rollercoaster feels that reinforce those beliefs and instead give more care as we practice learning to completely love the people that we authentically are.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Loneliness is our grief breaking through from the marks of our moments where the lights of being heard and loved existed as hopes and dreams but not as our actual experiences of being at home within our own hearts.
Feeling homesick for those comforting embraces that we imagine prevail somewhere that we just haven’t found yet, creates separation within us but it’s not the kind that encourages the space that allows us to breathe within the content of our own authenticity.
That disconnect is like shifting our weight of the world from one hand to another and then back again as we walk the lines that we think we should or distract ourselves from what we carry by seeking shelter in the vibes and words of others.
Initially, there is a sense of relief from our burdens in those settings but eventually, any time it rains that pain propagates as the reminders that we are longing for our place of safety to rest our hurting hearts and tired minds.
We aren’t content with allowing the relationship that we have with ourselves but we are comfortable with thinking that we are disqualified from having the choice to get creative with our obstacles, especially those fire-breathing dragons, that feel so inseparable from us no matter how hard we try to let them go.
What is able to bleed through follows us because we are the only ones who can turn the light on in the darkness of their existence although our intent has been to surround them with the sound of silence so that they will go away without our having to blend their needs in with our desires for easy trails, sunny days and of course the flowers that we think prove we are all right.
What if the purpose of our mangled words, muddy colors and out-of-tune songs is not to make us feel like failures but are the very emotional cues that beauty and being home within ourselves are not truly defined by the blooms that eventually have to decay anyways but by us as the main characters in the narratives where we just happen to grieve and fall down more than we want to?
If you must let go of something, then let it be your idea of what the isolation, homesickness and hurt says about you as well as the belief that you have to be more than what is already within your reach from your encounters for you to be possible.
After all, flowers will always be within our view but the magical ones require us to dance a little more with expanding the space where our feels constrain us even when it seems easier to look elsewhere or to let someone else tell us how to paint our stories.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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