As we overthink the yesterdays, we have to step back and recognize that how we existed in those places was by utilizing the abilities that we had at the time and in those encounters, our responses were the ones that we had to give.
Our belief, though, is that our actions were not enough based on what we think today and that conflict distances us from having understanding for the unmet expectations that we grieve as well as the marks left by those painful events.
It is reasonable, then, to want to rewrite the old but the consequences of our being overly focused on that desire are the feelings of invalidation and unhappiness that continue to impact our ability to trust ourselves each and every day.
In other words, those former missteps encourage us to disappear into the fear that our future moves will carry on and the conversations that we have with ourselves dwell in that worn out energy instead of showing up to shift our view.
If we revisit how we defined change previously, that term has simply expressed our need to not repeat unwanted behaviors and suffering.
However, the truth of what it really entails is that its made up of many, many unseen details and even challenges that can eventually cultivate the flowers that we imagine but not always in the frame that we hope for.
So just our being aware that we want our worn pages to be different is one of the little ways that we are, indeed, slowly stepping into the light of the particulars that are still not clear for us.
Sometimes we are the dragons whose boundaries don’t support us but instead hold us back by not allowing room for the expansion and redefining of the information that we have believed about ourselves.
The most powerful and vulnerable we will ever be is in our existence of our own words that can be both what exhausts us and inspires our curiosity but which one we grasp will depend upon what we are able to make use of minute by minute.
Every day we are enough but not every day is it possible for us to feel that especially since the yesterdays whisper that we remain the same in the now and then of our stories and the tomorrows have yet to appear to provide us with the knowledge that will help us to cope with who we are today.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
If we look into our hearts, we can see that approval of ourselves is influenced by the pressure of our tangled emotions and it can be really hard to recognize what we have already overcome when we are lost in the shuffle of our struggles as well as the safety of their familiarity in our moments of uncertainty.
What we see in that place is what makes us feel unique and separate from others and while movement does help us to relocate our focus, if our actions still include dragging around our invisible barriers from the yesterdays, our adjusted steps will continue to revolve in the understanding of our shadows that have shifted right along with us.
We can’t erase that contrast and we can’t cover it up as the emphasis on our differences is already a part of the way that we speak to ourselves about how difficult it is for us to be happy and how easy it is for our suffering to pull us back from the light.
Transformation is risky because it involves changing how we do today with the presence of a mind and heart that can’t imagine what we will look like around the bend nor if the acceptance that we have been seeking on the inside will finally be something that we can hold onto or remain fleeting despite our efforts.
A better question to ask in our process, then, would be “How are we defining what enough means for ourselves? ” because if that word has been constrained just as our hope has been, we are unnecessarily rotating in the murkiness that we desire to leave behind.
So in our fights with the feels that have filled us with confusion and hurt, let us allow our belief of our adequacy to encompass the knowledge that we have made it to this very point and when our existence is minute by minute, that we are still living within the artwork that being enough has left for us to nurture as only we can.
For today, try a little kindness in your talk because sometimes the dragons in our stories are not the “f” moments that we have lived but simply are the results of our mixing up and limiting the definitions of the very words that we are using to define our lives by.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We all have moments that we want more of and others that we want to leave behind that make hope a necessary accessory on our travels but there are also times when we clasp it’s hand and it feels like a burden.
The marks of the yesterdays have left us unsure and our hearts and minds call for the kind of safety that we think can be found in the idea of “seeing is believing” otherwise that hope is merely a reminder of what’s impossible for us.
But there are some days where we don’t feel all right and the only investment that we are capable of making is in existing minute to minute and the guarantee that we want to see is blocked by the weather of our emotions, leaving us with more questions than our wished for answer.
Its all of the things that have made a home within us, though, that makes it possible for us to have the aspirations to transition and to also imagine that different is possible without knowing what that might look like but our fear tells us that change can only occur in a specific manner and that we can’t be uncertain if we want to move towards it.
When we detach the constraints that we ourselves have placed on hope and give it the space to fluctuate as we do, it becomes the capacity to believe in who we are on the days that our tears represent our laughter right through to the ones in which our grief weighs us down.
So here’s to the hope that pushes us out of our comfort zones with the knowledge that it isn’t our unwanted pieces, goals or the way that we walk that creates doubt but it is the quality of the relationship that we have with ourselves that either misaligns our expectations with the desire for perfection or anchors us in the understanding that progress is the process of learning as we go.
Not everything is beautiful in the stories that we live and it isn’t always easy to verbalize what we are experiencing but when we can just acknowledge those feels as they arise, we become the light that our hope has been searching for all along.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Between the events of the yesterdays and the change that we are hoping to see in the tomorrows is the process of our moving back and forth from the pain that has captivated us for so long to learning to let go of the ways that we have gotten use to stuffing that sorrow onto our pages.
When that action moves quickly, its easy to smile while holding the hand of hope but during the days where the poetry of our words and emotions create obstacles, it’s hard for us to believe in our ability to step forward from the darkness in our stories.
Our knowledge, though, of light as well as the lack of it comes from both being present in our lives just as our tears express our awareness of the laughter and the sadness that also coexists within us so transforming what isn’t working on our journeys is really a day by day adjustment of the parameters of what we think the right lighting should look like.
Who we hope to be in the future doesn’t need for us to walk in the perfect manner but instead to practice embracing the duality that we are living by surrounding the storms of our uncertainty with past progress and our fear with the understanding that we have made it to this very moment with courage also accompanying us and both will arrive together in the next one as well.
So if we need somewhere to begin, let’s start by releasing our grasp on the idea that our imperfect in and out dance moves as sometime warriors prevents us from healing and growing in the manner that the noise of our grief has been inviting us to show up for all along.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
While traveling on our authentic journeys, we have absorbed experiences and then turned the resulting emotions into the conversations of our hearts and minds that lock us away in the records of what we have come to love and to hate about the light and the darkness of ourselves.
Each day our artistry draws from those familiar designs of yesterday’s seeds and any unresolved conflict that has framed our previous steps will continue to nudge us as our view of the future blends our hope with our fear that the past strife will pull us back or that some other kind of impossible dragon will be waiting around the bend.
Those layers are filled with words that we don’t want to hear in our stories and we hold our breath while dreaming of never having met those feels that make us the art that we are or in at least leaving behind the power of their reality even though that would also mean quitting the pretty parts that live there as well.
The itineraries of our quests to move forward contain the reasons why we want to do so but on those days when that presence of our distractions rewinds time for us, also knowing the grounds for why not us, can help in finding the confidence to change how we feel about our former uncomfortable spaces and how we will keep going in the upcoming sun’s random appearances along our paths.
So ask yourself this question, “If I could go back to those done moments without being able to change how I lived in them, what care labels would I now follow to assist in my being all right with those touches that will remain written on my pages?”
Solace can be found in our very own words but it will always feel fleeting, just like happiness, if we believe that it is only possible for us to be loved when we aren’t tripping over debris or gathering weeds on our imperfect expeditions.
In a so very heavell life, the overtone is that we should be positive that we can fall at any time along our unchartered trails but that what we tell ourselves in that position will either illuminate our way through or continue our distracting discussions about how we hate it when the darkness pulls us back from the sunlight.
This is men’s mental health month and it is a good time to ask even those who smile, “What do you think will happen if you seek assistance with what you are going through?” because sometimes the light shows up in the form of simply asking better questions of ourselves as well as others.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Some of our days are filled with not being all right and when we don’t have the words to climb above the darkness that has been in a long standing relationship with us, finding opportunities to trust in our works of art can feel as elusive as the light is in those moments.
At times that discomfort makes sense while in others the only reason why it continues to travel with us is because of its ability to connect us to our past spaces, however it is not the memories that hold us captive but rather our misconception of those negative emotions and what we think they have to say about us.
Having unwanted feels makes it seem as if there is something wrong with us when in actuality, that pain is the reach of the problematic events that have touched our hearts that then affect our confidence regardless of the climate conditions in our areas.
Our muddy beliefs about what was in our moments continue to be projected into what is our now because despite our deeply planting the emotions that we hoped would never surface again, it is merely that easy for the same version that coped in the midst of the chaos of the yesterdays, to reappear as our known response to today and even tomorrow.
Everything that we have done has worked to get us to this very point and even though it may not feel like it, who we are becoming has needed us to get at least this far on our journeys but that doesn’t mean that we have to stay in our current positions just because we find ourselves in the same locations.
We can’t always control what gets put into our plots nor the elements that get stirred up with those things but to dispense possibility into the dark parts, we must accept feeling the rhythms that beat within us while still not allowing the varying energies of those emotions to become what we forever believe to be the truth about ourselves.
The fact is we won’t be able to change the comings and goings of either the darkness or the light but we can transform our discussions about their presence in our narratives as revolving characters that rely upon us to mention them in the manner that we do.
It’s never been just about the flowers or the weeds because regardless of our fluctuating lighting, it is still simply us learning to garden in all sorts of weather and that artistry will always take the time that it does for each of us.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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