There is a lot of loss and pain that is located underneath the surface of the words that we use to convey our stories as transitional characters and the pressure of that hidden flow of emotions leaves little room for us to imagine anything other than trying to find the balance of what we already know.
It’s an uncomfortable way of being and although we may be able to take different steps, that familiar state of ours will lead us right back to the same destination on the inside because we remain linked to what we believe about ourselves.
We might feel hurt and even disappointed by the moments that our grief has been in competition with our desires to find joy, however it is our inability to lean into our face-to-face encounters with our details that has kept us waiting in between who we were and who we are.
We are entitled to have those opinions that were created from our prior knowledge, but accountability for going forward begins by not limiting ourselves in the manner that has become such an easy habit for us to do.
Courage isn’t something that can truly be seen, like how a smile or tears can be, and yet we have an idea of how it appears for those that we think have it and when we look into our own mirrors, we dismiss the possibility of its presence in the image that is reflected back at us.
If we were to turn around, though, to see just how hard we have had to work to get to the part of our trail that we now find ourselves on, what we have held to be true about strength would be expanded to include more of our movements.
Stories of resilience, after all, are not only about the lives that seem to effortlessly make it through challenges as they also contain the ones where often-silent battles against dragons while in the muck are fought without anyone else understanding the suffering that is involved in the process.
Staying true to ourselves means understanding that taking aim and missing the targets of the yesterdays was the best that we could do and just because we have been hampered by the disbelief of those previous spots, it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn to be all right with how we had to get through.
At the end of were, are the reasons that we have had our particular stories to write, and in the presence of are, is the strength that was quietly planted way back then just so that we could embrace the growth of it in the place that we are now.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Every twist and turn along our journeys involves some kind of loss but what we focus on are only the negative experiences that funnel our energies towards repeating what we think is wrong about ourselves.
Those emotions that cast shadows don’t stay in the moments in which they were created but instead seamlessly flow throughout all of our pages because our habit is to move on to the next chapter before we have leaned into the presence of how we have been impacted by the prior ones.
Our desire to get to the outside of the vulnerabilities that we are in the midst of makes us skip allowing space for those contradictions and yet the consequence of avoiding dealing with that fear and pain is that we never nurture those connections nor grow our knowledge to help ourselves with our future suffering.
A gloomy belief system defines our losses as being things that are missing from us as well as what we have failed at and with those types of ideas stacked up against us, its hard to recognize that balancing the marks of learning along with what goes as planned is a part of the abstractness of works of art.
We can’t feel better when we disappear into the limiting identities of the hurt that wraps itself around us and gives the impression that the tomorrows will be a repeat of what we already know despite our hope.
We also can’t let go of or move on from what doesn’t make sense in our stories so finding any sort of sliver of light for those stormy pieces may have to merely encompass validating how those encounters have felt on the inside.
Our goals should not be to separate ourselves from those previous movements but for us to now show up to conclude them in such a way that we transform the impact of the past as well as how we are available and bring safety for ourselves into the tomorrows.
Every moment is our moment to embrace the opposing information that is available to us and stepping back allows for us to find forgiveness for not having the retrospection in the past that we are slowly working to develop in our present place of being.
It’s never solely about the weeds though because despite their always being a part of the scene, they can nourish flowers once we guide our energy towards recognizing what else can grow within the spaces of losses.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
The words have been written in black on the lines of our pages but its the details that are so full of colors from where we have been that keep us fearful that we will never make it out of those same conversations being extended into the next chapters as well.
They are the storms that rain doubt down so much so that we are not only unable to enjoy the various shapes and sizes of the flowers that we have been able to gather thus far but to also believe that in time it will be possible for us to do it again.
We try to leave that heaviness behind by dreaming and having goals but we can’t arrive where we hope to be without first finding acceptance for the awkward events that have filled parts of our lives with pain.
We are the ones that give meaning to each of those messages and sometimes it takes longer to unite those complexities so that they become nourishment in our better stories rather than remain as something that makes us feel alone in a room full of people.
It’s easy to find value in the balance of growth and contentment but hard to appreciate the things that help us to understand ourselves especially when their emotional weather requires us to go through muddied colors and even rejection to find their worth.
The art of living so very heavell lives is in allowing ourselves the space to choose when joy is penciled in or styled with a permanent marker along with feeling the sadness that noisily exists on the best of our days or silently accompanies us into the absence of light.
Change will happen when we show up to welcome the hurt that is already at home within us because it is not the past or our conversations that keeps them repeating but rather the choices that we have made in how we believed we should deal with them.
We cannot trust in our future steps when the darkness that stretches into the ones that have gotten us this far leave us feeling unsafe but it is a different season when we embrace forgiving ourselves for what we have previously thought should be erased in order for us to be happy.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We spend a lot of our moments trying to argue our pain away through the people, places and things that surround us because we don’t really know how to be happy along side the sorrow that also lives within the very environments of our own hearts and minds.
Regardless of how many yesterdays have gone by or how safe we feel because the weather is perfect, there are many times when our thoughts aren’t enough to hold back those details that treat us as if we are still traveling in those events.
Even stacking other parts to our stories hasn’t allowed us to walk elsewhere from what we are use to breathing in and although we certainly want to reject that noise, it has a way of presenting itself as a constant companion that refuses to be ignored.
Pain is, at some point, something that occurs for all of us however not everyone seems to be as contained by it as others are and we chase the wrong things because we think that it has to look a certain way in order for us to be able to live with it.
Darkness, after all, is the kind of ecosystem whose output keeps on giving by making it surprisingly possible for us to feel completely empty as well as overwhelmingly full without providing the evidence of it’s existence for anyone other than ourselves to take notice of it.
We already know how to exist within it’s embrace, though, as that’s what we have been doing all along but we haven’t been returning the hug as it feels weak for us to acknowledge that the weeds on our trails have left marks on us.
Just because we have had the colors and the words to express our pain, it doesn’t mean that we have to keep using them in the same manner because the nutrients from those tears can expand the little known blooms of understanding that wouldn’t otherwise develop without them.
How would our perspective about sorrow change, if we knew that healing isn’t about letting go of those stains but rather about releasing how their former definitions have had us devaluing who we are simply as the results of not knowing what to do with the hurt?
It’s about time that we start realizing that some of the light of happiness is in how we choose to be available for the darkness to flow in and out of us as easily as we are willing to twist to reach flowers.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you because that is enough. Love Always, Heavell
(Artwork courtesy of the wonderful Lily! Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us!)
Time does not make choices easier for us but over time the repetition of the companion words that we keep around fill the spaces between the yesterdays and today as the evidence of what was as well as what we fear will continue to be in the tomorrows.
There isn’t anything in our environment that says we have to transport those familiar options with us and yet we believe that we are trapped within their boundaries so we remain in their replication even though we hope for something different.
No matter what has been on our journeys, we don’t have to keep reminding ourselves about the moments that the sun wasn’t shining as our thoughts have already mapped the details of those marks while our hearts have projected the preserved grief of them, page after page.
And as those feels have had the freedom to bleed through, carrying that weight of the world has appeared to prevent our progress even though its not the presence of those things but rather how we have gotten use to being amongst them without even liking them.
Our past isn’t asking us to let go of a page or a lot of our sheets simply because the mess doesn’t reflect our best artwork but it does want us to imagine that what we needed in those prior moments is something that we are now capable of surrounding the yesterdays with.
Changing what has been so close and confining requires our moving through the consideration of who we were when our knowledge provided the view that we were stuck rather than allowing us to see that we were actually unsure of what to do with the experiences that had been enfolding us.
Having the space to create doesn’t mean that we have to do something with it until we are ready to choose showing up for our better stories that will always include flowers that don’t bloom and ones that surprise us as well as weeds that cling to us and some we never even notice.
It’s okay not to have all of the words or the answers because with a little shuffling, the black and white of our sorrow and regret can become colorful just by expanding the partners that they are connected to.
A page will feel empty before it feels full and if we are going to hope for things to fill it with, then let us repeatedly wish for our moments to be bordered by understanding up till enough time has passed for that word to become a familiar and comfortable companion along the uncharted trails of our so very heavell lives.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Sorrow from yesterday’s choices can create indecisiveness in our movements with tomorrow’s options and even our hope can’t dissuade us from carrying the repetition of that kind of pain on the hidden resumes that we take with us everywhere we go.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling deeply in the place that houses all that we are but those vibes can lead to the unreliable belief that our mirror holds the reminders of what didn’t go as planned when really those images are looking for clarity on the things that we want to talk about the least.
No matter how long we have been residing in a feeling, a thought or a particular position, we don’t have to continue to stay in any energy that doesn’t allow us to be flexible in changing our decisions about what serves us and what doesn’t whenever we need to.
So if our idea has been that there is acceptance for what is correct while not allowing understanding for what isn’t, then perhaps that contrast has been holding us back by clouding our view of how choosing an option actually works for each of us.
After all, the key to whether a selection is right or not often requires our first stepping into an unnavigated experience to see how its colors mix with ours before we can actually celebrate its addition to our pages or decide that its not in our best interest but still something to learn from as we move away.
There are no guarantees that flowers will appear from error-free action or that they will be beautiful but then there also aren’t any assurances that weeds and shadows don’t help to create blooms except when we select the choice that its impossible for them to do so.
The light looks different when we realize that walking our messy paths includes finding the evidence of working options by passing through the rehearsal of the ones that don’t and that our potential isn’t determined in either place but in what we decide to say so if necessary, make another selection and then go from there.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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