Beneath the surface of our artwork is the disarray of the items that we grieve for and mixed in with those hues is the sorrow that we have lost the ability to make those previous events right.
Continuing to exist in the moments that we don’t want to look at and yet can’t help but get lost in is like closing our eyes and hoping that the past will just let us go even though it is our attachment that is standing in the way of its leaving.
But when did those troubling pieces begin overplaying their part so much so that the rains of the yesterdays have been able to collapse time in order to flow into today and also threaten to be the passion that overwhelms us in the tomorrows?
When did we stop poring over all of our details to become the kind of artists that don’t allow space for us to define for ourselves the different ways that happiness can co-occur with sadness along our un-chartered trails?
When did we forget that sometime warriors always move but don’t necessarily win every battle and dragons aren’t always the reason why fear is such a familiar term to us?
So many of us find ourselves interpreting our weight of the world as a reflection of failure since we don’t know how to validate the things that haven’t unfolded within the standards that we mistakenly believe success should show up as.
The intimate relationship that we have with our own stories, however, can’t be depicted nor judged through someone else’s journey simply because being brave in places where the light is limited is not the same as being courageous in the areas where the lighting options can be too bright.
Different doesn’t guarantee better just as the burden of being blue doesn’t mean that happiness has let go of us so if it were possible for our sadness to be gone, what do we think we would have more of?
On a day of rain and sun, leave space for what has been packed to flow through but also consent to there being room for that darkness to inspire getting to know how our own specific successes are also living within the very home that we do.
May is Mental Health Awareness month and while it isn’t always easy to ask others how they are truly doing, we can be aware that individual definitions of bravery encompass existing moment to moment in stories that don’t sound the same on the outside as they feel on the inside.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Our lives don’t sound the way that they feel in our hearts and the light along our paths isn’t painted so that we can still see it in the moments where we don’t even want to talk to ourselves because of the doubt and sorrow that is surrounding us.
We are use to expressing our stories under the hues of the black that represents the darkness and the white that is the evidence of the brightness even though their flatness isn’t truly capable of communicating who we are unless we narrow our eyesight to with-hold the rest of our information.
The same can be said about the words that we use to manage our narratives in that its not the personal details that have been hidden in the atmosphere of each term but the value that we keep removing from ourselves because of what is all in along our lines.
It’s hard existing in the kind of art whose pages are able to display the scale of our defeat and yet it isn’t that those things visit us but how we have plagued ourselves with the reminders of the illustrations of them.
Just because we have been stuck in the cycle of familiar creations, it doesn’t mean that we can’t also make something stronger by taking notice of the contrast of the different layers that are significant to understanding our existence.
It’s called colors and a vocabulary so that we can mix and match our materials to fit the kind of artist that we feel like being each day and sometimes that creativity requires us to be seen adding light so that our stories reflect how our hearts have actually felt them.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
There is a lot of loss and pain that is located underneath the surface of the words that we use to convey our stories as transitional characters and the pressure of that hidden flow of emotions leaves little room for us to imagine anything other than trying to find the balance of what we already know.
It’s an uncomfortable way of being and although we may be able to take different steps, that familiar state of ours will lead us right back to the same destination on the inside because we remain linked to what we believe about ourselves.
We might feel hurt and even disappointed by the moments that our grief has been in competition with our desires to find joy, however it is our inability to lean into our face-to-face encounters with our details that has kept us waiting in between who we were and who we are.
We are entitled to have those opinions that were created from our prior knowledge, but accountability for going forward begins by not limiting ourselves in the manner that has become such an easy habit for us to do.
Courage isn’t something that can truly be seen, like how a smile or tears can be, and yet we have an idea of how it appears for those that we think have it and when we look into our own mirrors, we dismiss the possibility of its presence in the image that is reflected back at us.
If we were to turn around, though, to see just how hard we have had to work to get to the part of our trail that we now find ourselves on, what we have held to be true about strength would be expanded to include more of our movements.
Stories of resilience, after all, are not only about the lives that seem to effortlessly make it through challenges as they also contain the ones where often-silent battles against dragons while in the muck are fought without anyone else understanding the suffering that is involved in the process.
Staying true to ourselves means understanding that taking aim and missing the targets of the yesterdays was the best that we could do and just because we have been hampered by the disbelief of those previous spots, it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn to be all right with how we had to get through.
At the end of were, are the reasons that we have had our particular stories to write, and in the presence of are, is the strength that was quietly planted way back then just so that we could embrace the growth of it in the place that we are now.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Every twist and turn along our journeys involves some kind of loss but what we focus on are only the negative experiences that funnel our energies towards repeating what we think is wrong about ourselves.
Those emotions that cast shadows don’t stay in the moments in which they were created but instead seamlessly flow throughout all of our pages because our habit is to move on to the next chapter before we have leaned into the presence of how we have been impacted by the prior ones.
Our desire to get to the outside of the vulnerabilities that we are in the midst of makes us skip allowing space for those contradictions and yet the consequence of avoiding dealing with that fear and pain is that we never nurture those connections nor grow our knowledge to help ourselves with our future suffering.
A gloomy belief system defines our losses as being things that are missing from us as well as what we have failed at and with those types of ideas stacked up against us, its hard to recognize that balancing the marks of learning along with what goes as planned is a part of the abstractness of works of art.
We can’t feel better when we disappear into the limiting identities of the hurt that wraps itself around us and gives the impression that the tomorrows will be a repeat of what we already know despite our hope.
We also can’t let go of or move on from what doesn’t make sense in our stories so finding any sort of sliver of light for those stormy pieces may have to merely encompass validating how those encounters have felt on the inside.
Our goals should not be to separate ourselves from those previous movements but for us to now show up to conclude them in such a way that we transform the impact of the past as well as how we are available and bring safety for ourselves into the tomorrows.
Every moment is our moment to embrace the opposing information that is available to us and stepping back allows for us to find forgiveness for not having the retrospection in the past that we are slowly working to develop in our present place of being.
It’s never solely about the weeds though because despite their always being a part of the scene, they can nourish flowers once we guide our energy towards recognizing what else can grow within the spaces of losses.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
The words have been written in black on the lines of our pages but its the details that are so full of colors from where we have been that keep us fearful that we will never make it out of those same conversations being extended into the next chapters as well.
They are the storms that rain doubt down so much so that we are not only unable to enjoy the various shapes and sizes of the flowers that we have been able to gather thus far but to also believe that in time it will be possible for us to do it again.
We try to leave that heaviness behind by dreaming and having goals but we can’t arrive where we hope to be without first finding acceptance for the awkward events that have filled parts of our lives with pain.
We are the ones that give meaning to each of those messages and sometimes it takes longer to unite those complexities so that they become nourishment in our better stories rather than remain as something that makes us feel alone in a room full of people.
It’s easy to find value in the balance of growth and contentment but hard to appreciate the things that help us to understand ourselves especially when their emotional weather requires us to go through muddied colors and even rejection to find their worth.
The art of living so very heavell lives is in allowing ourselves the space to choose when joy is penciled in or styled with a permanent marker along with feeling the sadness that noisily exists on the best of our days or silently accompanies us into the absence of light.
Change will happen when we show up to welcome the hurt that is already at home within us because it is not the past or our conversations that keeps them repeating but rather the choices that we have made in how we believed we should deal with them.
We cannot trust in our future steps when the darkness that stretches into the ones that have gotten us this far leave us feeling unsafe but it is a different season when we embrace forgiving ourselves for what we have previously thought should be erased in order for us to be happy.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We spend a lot of our moments trying to argue our pain away through the people, places and things that surround us because we don’t really know how to be happy along side the sorrow that also lives within the very environments of our own hearts and minds.
Regardless of how many yesterdays have gone by or how safe we feel because the weather is perfect, there are many times when our thoughts aren’t enough to hold back those details that treat us as if we are still traveling in those events.
Even stacking other parts to our stories hasn’t allowed us to walk elsewhere from what we are use to breathing in and although we certainly want to reject that noise, it has a way of presenting itself as a constant companion that refuses to be ignored.
Pain is, at some point, something that occurs for all of us however not everyone seems to be as contained by it as others are and we chase the wrong things because we think that it has to look a certain way in order for us to be able to live with it.
Darkness, after all, is the kind of ecosystem whose output keeps on giving by making it surprisingly possible for us to feel completely empty as well as overwhelmingly full without providing the evidence of it’s existence for anyone other than ourselves to take notice of it.
We already know how to exist within it’s embrace, though, as that’s what we have been doing all along but we haven’t been returning the hug as it feels weak for us to acknowledge that the weeds on our trails have left marks on us.
Just because we have had the colors and the words to express our pain, it doesn’t mean that we have to keep using them in the same manner because the nutrients from those tears can expand the little known blooms of understanding that wouldn’t otherwise develop without them.
How would our perspective about sorrow change, if we knew that healing isn’t about letting go of those stains but rather about releasing how their former definitions have had us devaluing who we are simply as the results of not knowing what to do with the hurt?
It’s about time that we start realizing that some of the light of happiness is in how we choose to be available for the darkness to flow in and out of us as easily as we are willing to twist to reach flowers.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you because that is enough. Love Always, Heavell
(Artwork courtesy of the wonderful Lily! Thank you so much for sharing your talents with us!)
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