It’s different reading in black and white and living in colorful frames.
It’s different being bound for hope and stopping because it looks dissimilar.
It’s different being in this moment and aligned with where time has stood still.
It’s different needing the biggest hug and not wanting to be seen.
It’s different being blinded by the sun and simultaneously existing in a storm.
It’s different sowing seeds in the trenches and just experiencing the debris.
It’s different hiding tears on the outside and crying on the inside.
It’s different holding the same words page after page and being the writer.
It’s different being a forest and making it irrelevant because of some trees.
It’s different disliking the artwork and grabbing the same colors.
And it’s different listening intently to fear’s communications and ignoring bravery’s quieter voice.
But just because we have spent a lot of time stumbling in that different, as if we are suitable with it, it doesn’t mean that we must continue to accept it’s offers.
We can study the ambiguous nature of our frames.
We can get a better look at loving ourselves on journeys where hope fails.
We can pause to take the deep breath that suspended moments left out.
We can be a friendly face to the person in the mirror.
We can be both happy and sad at the same time.
We can notice that flowers welcome even the messiest of nourishment.
We can accept that tears on the inside are a valid response on the outside.
We can view that a word is only a word until our puzzle pieces create what it means in us.
We can commend the rest of our home while caring for the hell that lives there too.
We can start tomorrow’s art by practicing we the colors and styles.
And we can take different steps in response to the old obstacles that we hear from dragons.
There is a pattern of speech that keeps us unknowingly loyal to exactly what we don’t want by having us believe that we are compatible with what came to be.
And yet acknowledging the emotions that dwell behind our smiles isn’t the same as being those unlikable moments for we are individuals worthy of the space to be loved in and out of the fray of our stories.
The walk is long, but it gets easier when the build-up of that different moves out of the way for the talk that encourages works of art to listen to their hearts.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Somewhere in yesterday’s air lives the voice of the unkindness that brings with it all that is gray, all that wasn’t, all that is regret and all that is war no matter where we roam.
It uses sabotaging language to keep our bags overflowing.
It turns tries into days of failure.
It blasts hope’s breath away.
It marks new spaces as inadequate for a friendship with ourselves.
It maps happiness as something we will never find.
It keeps the materials that have been made with effect as our go to style.
And yet the more we stay connected to the easy pickings of that believed certainty:
The more we don’t know what is important about our thoughts and feelings.
The more pain is included in events even when there isn’t any suffering.
The more safety seems like a fantasy.
The more stability is about not trying.
The more we are bound to storms including on sunny days.
The more we tell ourselves that we are not what we should be.
And yet in the fear of the unpredictable that can be found around each of tomorrows bends:
We fear gray because we have to practice hugging it with works of art in progress.
We fear exhaustion because it comes from being brave and scared at the same time.
We fear strength because its building blocks are forged from suffering.
We fear tears because we know they come most often from pain.
We fear sometime warriors because they show up to fight wars and battle dragons.
We fear enough because it explains that in unlikeable moments, messy is always loveable.
And still on the other side of all that conflict is the truth that the bravery needed for the unforeseeable is actually exposed in surviving the reliability of suffering and doubt.
In the art by uncertainty, there is magic in expanding the balancing of the light with the dark and relief in letting go of the control of certainty.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We are shaped by but not actually bound to the history that lingers with its pressure that we are not out of reach of the backstories that we endure every day in the poor lighting of old programming.
And yet most of us are like this in our commitment to yesterday’s art that walks stride for stride with us even though we dream of knowing ourselves differently.
And still old stories won’t let us be great amongst the inspiring expectations of change because we speak against ourselves about what has been archived on our pages.
And even when we try to safely release the past, rules of thoughts are replicated out of habit that will then be used to frame tomorrow’s grief and dreams, leaving us sideways once again.
After all, darkness is resourceful in taking parts of our hearts with its big and messy messages that makes it impossible to lean into ourselves in any other way than negatively.
And this is how we become caught in the unwelcoming pause between the bouquet of previous versions of ourselves and the unknown possibilities of the individuals that up to this point, we have not met within ourselves.
So, then it becomes even more likely for us to fall back into the ecosystem of survival because moments are still mistaken for proof of who we are rather than as the actions and responses of an understanding whose highlights got us this far.
But if we can become friends with the parts of ourselves that have walked around grieving and dreaming, we have the opportunity to do what we have never done before which is to have the courage to approve of ourselves.
Because even though hope keeps what we think we are seeking, it also dwells in the ultimate desire to like who we see in the mirror especially when the noise on the inside threatens our sustainability.
Words of old attachments affect who we are today so we can ask ourselves what we would do differently in those spots and emerge from their shadows with an up to date knowing to use in the tomorrows.
New chapters need us to love ourselves in unlikeable moments and to trust that magic isn’t in being perfect or having flawless weather on the inside but in taking the dark and delivering a different message from it to our homes.
There are easy pickings to be shaped by in everyone’s story and if we are going to do that, we deserve to know that we can leave better what we find by letting go of former understandings that are no longer useful.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Our journeys hold both pain and beauty and within that duality is the opportunity for us to not only be a work of art in progress but also a masterpiece to be admired at the same time.
We can miss who different would have brought and we can celebrate being here.
We can have space that collects grief and courage that sees no boundaries.
We can dream of liking ourselves and be lovable in unlikable moments.
We can frame what keeps us down and be free of the noise of dragons.
We can be at a loss for words and vibrant in hearing ourselves.
We can appear as we always have and show up differently without turning the page.
We can be afraid of the dark and safe within the warmth of our homes.
We can be diversified in messiness and unified by the uniqueness of our communities.
We can be confused about what’s ahead and walk with determination regardless of lighting.
We can experience the darker pallet of tears and cry from the laughter about shadows.
We can identify with unhappy and happily color outside of the lines.
We can lose hope in reaction to action and dance to the tune of possibilities.
We can fall while sitting and be balanced in standing in weather that hurts.
We can whisper weakness and sing with the strength of a forest.
We can be far from a desired outcome and grow blooms without ever making it out of the weeds.
We can be alone in a group and not be lonely in the solitude of a journey.
We can breathe in the ugliness and be the beauty that comes up to meet it.
We can look in the mirror and forgive our ways of having survived.
We can be where history lingers and write a different story.
We can be the war that rages and the peace that brings hope.
And we can think it is never ending and layer insight to break patterns.
Even though one feels darker than the other, the shinier side isn’t more valuable because pain frames sections of the work of art in progress and beauty lovingly details parts of the masterpiece.
A favorite story is the journey of the friendship slowly being built in the plenty of our own so very heavell lives.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We live in such a way that when it seems like there is nothing else to hold onto in our stories, our thoughts locate us in the yesterdays, and we are once again faced with the colors associated with the outcomes that were not ideal.
Because it is between our opposing points of moments that we have felt every single thing that has existed including the versions that we did not want to meet.
So, then we turn and compare what is deep within us to the many songs of others, reinforcing that we should be mourning what we think is true about the people who captively stare back at us from the mirror.
And yet comparing overworked steps on our pages with those that are uniquely on their own only allows the inner knowing of where we have been to take more than it gives before we are even able to make it to the next that we are hoping to get to.
And then, the value of our movement is distorted by the competition of fear and sorrow that seeks our attention and pulls us back into thoughts of making up for what is behind us.
So, the fallout is unwanted messages on a loop and a lack of safety in the broader perspective that beyond what keeps us is the space to accept that love has never needed us to always like ourselves for it to be present.
What we are looking for are the conversations that overcome the suffering, but we don’t know where to start because survival makes it difficult to notice anything other than the angles of our battles.
Hope, after all, isn’t just a desire for a change in circumstances but is also an unspoken wish to outgrow how we have come to feel about ourselves because of frames that mark us with accounts of hurt.
So, how do we foster well-being when life is open to dreams that may not come true, and the challenge isn’t a wish for a different moment or day but a need for a changed relationship with our responses?
When darkness has overlapped us and our determination has contracted, the magic of safety is that it becomes a beacon in the storm that waits for us to become comfortable with taking the next step.
And when we merge all right with not all right, we give ourselves permission to do what we can as we can in the dance of who we are.
Don’t let wanting you, be silenced by the noise opposing points speak of in the aspects of a patch because you are the artist in a garden where you can dislike frames and still love the person that is inseparable from all of it.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
In stories with frames filled with pain, that disquieting art needs the safety to just be the colors on canvases and the words on pages that life is still able to come from.
Because despite not liking their crushing messages or where they come from, neglecting the existence of our communities is like building a system where happiness is denied if it doesn’t arrive in the right package.
And then our parts that have survived temporary moments in very permanent ways will continue to appear as enemies with voices in our very own homes.
And since old feels do replay regardless of desires, the shade that is thrown upon tomorrow’s journeys will feel like the certainty that our gardens must not be the happy kind.
And yet beyond our memorized hope are the soft identities of what is sown in small bands that at a deeper level are better able to nourish our being happy than specific outcomes do.
Sometimes it’s seeing that in the famine of words, colors guide us through what became that we thought would never be.
Sometimes it’s reassuring ourselves every time the shadows of frustration and suffering show up.
Sometimes it is simply having survived because that will always be a big win.
Sometimes it’s recognizing that we aren’t overreacting to our pain but believing in ourselves means making friends with our dragons and what they say that triggers us.
Sometimes it’s having the patience to try and fail because its really the movement along the way that is the all.
Sometimes it’s forgiveness for the overwhelmingly perfectly imperfect because regret means that we are watching for different, but we haven’t recognized it yet.
Sometimes it’s noticing the blue of the sky and smiling because other things hold that same hue, and safety can be found in those places on stormy days.
Sometimes it’s embracing goodbyes that hurt because what begins must end just as a sun sets after it has risen.
Sometimes it’s allowing the rain to flow because flowers exist with its presence and a good cry means that we see that in our real selves as well.
And sometimes it’s the joy of being sometime warriors in what appears to be ordinary stories while knowing that we have everything that it takes to makes epic tales bigger.
Small things are waiting to be found, but our propensity has been to oppose anything whose engagement isn’t the right kind of happiness.
So go ahead and carve out space for that color, those tears, that smile, that surviving, that run, that blah because that is what we did in the very same places that we have felt fear, screamed, suffered, felt weak, failed or whatever.
Keep believing in hope, in change and in yourself but more importantly be determined to find different in all the frames that have kept you feeling unsafe and on the edge of happiness for far too long.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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