This Kind Of Life  #139

This Kind Of Life #139

The expression “making something out of nothing” has been used in reference to the creation of things that have merit but also in order to devalue the reactions of others. In other words, depending on how you use or receive that statement, it can either hold heaven or it can bring hell. Responses that appear to come out of nowhere are often thought to be an overreaction to a moment or situation; that “making of something out of nothing” What’s not there, though, is the ability to see why someone may be expressing his or her self in that manner. Fear, pain, feeling unheard, anxiety, a familiar pattern or even the BLAH can affect one’s ability to say what needs to be said without getting loud while doing so; whether an addict or not. A green truth then would be that a reaction came from nowhere or that it has been made out of nothing. The real truth is that our responses occur from what has been created over a lifetime of heaven and hell moments; especially the ones hidden in the shadows. If it seems like yesterday then it probably is because whatever needs to be dealt with is still waiting for you. What can also be found there, though, is your ability to elicit change and understanding because of and for you. This is me and this is you, regardless of being an addict or not, finding our way in this kind of life; a so very heavell one. All of it matters because your patterns have been created from the things that you feel; not those that I do or that someone else does. In this kind of life, what you do today will either repeat the yesterdays or transform what has hurt into the appreciation of the falls. After all, you are the heavell keeper of your life who is able to “make something out of nothing”; with either the help of your sometime warrior or your pain. This is the perfect moment for you to decide if you are breathing it in or just breathing. I will just wait right here while you locate the beauty that only you can find; in your kind of life.

When others repeat their behaviors, it can feel as if they are saying that you should be here as well; replaying what has already been. If you are trying to change, that adversity can then facilitate you into “making something out of nothing”; often in detrimental ways. Those actions and reactions, yours and others, have always just been there but they are not the justification or the excuse for remaining in the same place. They are, however, the expressing of personal emotional definitions and patterns. Located there, as well, is the understanding of how difficult it can be, also known as a hell, to transform when others remain the same; in this kind of life. A part of evolving, though, is recognizing that you have the ability to view more than just what you imagine is there; and not there. Why is it so much easier to allow some individuals to speak, to facilitate that, then it is to listen to those who say the things we do not want to hear or feel; whether an addict or not? Fear and pain, often expressed in the “making of something from nothing”, are a reflection of the place that someone is at; especially if it seems like yesterday. If you can perceive of the importance of each of us articulating from our positions, without breathing it in, then you can transform the adversity into understanding; because of and for you. Change has never been an easy thing to do but then sometime warriors have never ever been needed in heaven now have they? This is me and this is you in this kind of life where in any given moment we can feed the hell and or nourish the heaven. So here goes “the making of nothing into something” by just being who you are. In this kind of life, the mirror knows that you have always been the perfect person to go through. So get your tissues and start listening. After all, the real truth is that it’s not my words but what’s in your words that will bring about what you need. Whatever you are waiting for, it can’t happen unless you do this because of and for you. In this kind of life, falling has always been as important as stepping; even though that’s not what you imagined would be found there.

Seems Like Yesterday #138

Seems Like Yesterday #138

Within transformation is the illusion that all we need to do is simply stop doing or feeling whatever in order to be successful in moving forth. As individuals though, we each have and hold our personal moments, feelings and emotional definitions; including the BLAH. The way we perceive of and react to life has been and will continue to be shaped by those things; especially our pattern of coping. Adversity, found on the inside and the outside, is the creator of pain as well as the need for change; in both places. Do you believe that falling, which holds its’ own controversary, is a part of the undertaking of any type of evolution; whether an addict or not? What, then, is in the words that you say to yourself when an inevitable tumble does occur? When our view is limited, we often don’t realize that in order to transform, we have to find understanding by stepping into ourselves. If you are going to do what I say then turn around because how you breathe those things into your heart has long been an established pattern; one that can’t evolve without the all of you. If you have something to say that is in need of being heard, then you are the essential person required to speak and to listen to your little boxes of feelings. If it seems like yesterday, are you acting and reacting in the same manner as you always have? What’s not there is the justification or the excuse to not change based upon what others have done or are doing; whether an addict or not. What may seem like yesterday is actually what you still need to get uncomfortably comfortable with; what you are in control of. Are you sure, that whatever you choose to do, you don’t want to just do it because of and for you? After all, the way you do things has never ever been that simple but neither is a so very heavell life. It’s those moments, feelings but especially the falls that adversity uses to help create your sometime warrior. So even though it may seem like yesterday, it really is today. Turn around and look in the mirror. What you imagine is not there has always been there but it’s hard to perceive of those things when staying in a place for far too long.

The adversity that can be found on the inside often feeds off of what can be found on the outside; the words and the actions of others. When we are in the painful process of change, the beholder of its very own controversary, the repeating of patterns can and does effect our ability to transform; or whether it has lasting results. What seems like yesterday is actually a duplicate of it because others have an established personal system of behaviors as well. Imagine, then, trying to say the things that you need to while others respond as they always have. How do their words weaken your belief that transformation will ever be possible; helping to keep you in that perceived of hell? So what? An illusion or green truth is that someone else needs to evolve; especially if an addict. The real truth is we all must step forward otherwise we will each continue to walk in circles; while repeating what has already been. What’s not there is your ability to illicit someone else’s understanding or change; unless of course he or she desires to see beyond just what is in front. We can accept others for who they are just as we hope they will for us. We can also not breathe into our hearts what is in the words and the actions of others. Recognizing that it is a reflection of the place they are at rather than the value or the definition of ourselves. However, all of that has always been easier when controversary is not bringing pain; which almost never ever happens. What, then, can you do for yourself as you work to do this better on the inside; while also being challenged on the outside by what seems like yesterday? You can be kind to yourself as you tumble and walk in circles as a part of the beauty of hell; the pieces of the undertaking of evolution. Understand that we don’t just stop behaving or feeling in the ways that we have; because those long established patterns interfere with that. We may hope to but the confusion created by the adversity ensures that stepping has never ever been an easy choice or action. But while those patterns may have shaped your ability to show up as well as go through in the past, they also have never ever been meant to be the continued definers of the tomorrows. Take the hand of fear and that of courage as you tumble along your trail. Know that you will take steps forward, no matter the size or the strength, in your matter of time. If it seems like yesterday, then turn around because transformation is exactly what sometime warriors are for. I’m just going to wait right here for you to consent to being who you are; the bringer of hell and the beholder of heaven. After all, there may be more than one way to pick weeds and smell flowers but there has always been only one you as the heavell keeper of your life. Oh hell, did I remind you to bring your tissues? I’m sorry, I guess its going to be that kind of day. The one in which you get to decide if you are going to breathe it in or just breathe.

Whatever #137

Whatever #137

Why is it important to find ourselves if what has been done cannot be undone? An often unrealized adversity of lost and or hidden pieces is their ability to continue to affect us long after they have disappeared. After all, whatever we do today will always have and hold what has already been in the yesterdays. This so very heavell life, despite any similarities, is unique to each individual and as such must be considered from each personal position. Whatever hurts for one is not necessarily the real truth for someone else. Whatever way an individual goes through will not ensure that another can experience it in that particular manner as well. The value of finding you is in changing how you have felt and judged what cannot be undone. If you are going to do as I say, then be kind to you by accepting your falls; as well as those from others. The need for transformation, and a view of what’s beyond, cannot be recognized without the help of all types of moments. If we no longer tumble then we are walking in circles; staying too long in the same place. The power of those descending moments, no matter the size or the strength, has always been established in what we do with them on the inside; repeat, destroy or convert to superpowers. Here’s to the “f” moments that bring the lessons that are needed in order to step. Say what? This is the perfect moment to get comfortably uncomfortable with the all that has been for you. The hope is that by stepping into you, you will find the most fantastic and failed, fearfully courageous and beautiful person in need of understanding; otherwise known as you. Whatever you choose to do, do it because of and for you.

The creation of anything, whether people, places or things. relies upon a foundation to support what is added to it. No matter what place we are at in that production of ourselves, what we don’t find an understanding for has a way of continuing to feed the hell. For instance, if you have trust issues, that pain has the ability to weaken some or all areas related to trusting yourself and or others. Because after all, whatever has the loudest voice will often be expressed in whatever manner that allows it to be seen; whether an addict or not. Accepting that a part is in need of recognition and help is taking a step forward. Turning around to the yesterdays, to then find what was lost or hidden, is choosing to show up for the all of you. Viewing that falls are a part of a so very heavell life, is the act of appreciating all that you are; even the hellish ones. When we don’t do those things, we consent to our yesterdays continuing to define our tomorrows; in this moment or the next but especially when we least expect it. Whatever is in the words that you say to yourself? Will they either help you to go through or keep you too long in the place you shouldn’t be? What do you see when you look in the mirror? Whatever you have been perceiving of, whether real or an illusion, there has always been so much more to you. This is me and this is you as the bringers of hell but also the beholders of heaven. Both places require us to breathe in brave; to eventually step forward or to get ready for the fall. Whatever can’t be undone is only as powerful as you consent to it being; by staying there, hiding it or by transforming it. Oh hell, did you know that sometime warriors cry and laugh until their stomachs hurt while being together and not together? It’s all right to not be all right with what you find. After all, the beauty of being both fantastic and failed is often not what we think is there but whatever we imagine isn’t. Be kind and quiet while listening to the all that you have to say but then get loud in finding whatever you need to help yourself. This is an inside existence that often can use the perspectives that can be found on the outside; unless of course they consent to you staying in the place that you have already been in or in hiding parts. Whatever you choose to do, do it because of and for you. Love, Heavell.

Find #136

Find #136

Turn around to the yesterdays and find the moments in which you felt the strongest and loudest reactions; whether happy, sad or angry in nature. Do you understand why you chained your personal value to those moments? Is it because they hurt or made you laugh until your stomach hurt? Has the worth of any of those moments been changed because someone else holds a different understanding of them; a separate perspective? How did it feel if someone downplayed what you experienced? When we look outside of ourselves for the acknowledgement of how things feel on the inside, we are often left in a confused state. It’s as if someone else is telling us what’s not there even though clearly it is there; because we feel it. Being unheard then creates a victim state, in a part or some parts, whose voice(s) will find a way to be communicated; most often in detrimental ways. All that you are has come together because of what you have encountered and then felt in a life that is so very heavell. Have the understanding that the value of what carries the weight of the world for each of us is solely in the heart of each beholder; in familiar and yet also distinctly different ways. If your going to do what I tell you to do, then get ready for the next fall because they will always happen through words, feelings and actions; even in the most perfect moments and people. Here’s to being comfortably uncomfortable with what is on the inside so that you may find the understanding and the acceptance of you. Oh hell, if you were to find yourself, each fall would be the opportunity to take steps in a place where we all walk in circles; for our matter of time. After all, weeds will always be found wherever flowers grow, sometime warriors are fearfully courageous and what we imagine isn’t there is often just a green truth. I am going to wait right here while you consent to show up for every perfectly, irritatingly, messy, fantastic, together and not together piece; also known as your whole.

The losses in our lives create controversary while the disagreements, especially about what’s valuable, result in falls. When you lose something, how hard and how long are you willing to look for it? Is that matter of time and effort affected by the worth that you have chained to it? It has always been easier for us to perceive of the things in our lives that are concrete; such as people, places, things or even substances. What happens, though, when the thing that has been lost, or hidden, is a part of the whole that lives on the inside? That place where any piece is vulnerable to confusion; from our feelings, “f” moments, illusions and outside influences? If those things have pain and or fear, we will deny, hide or lose what we do not want to deal with. It’s as if it can’t be there if we don’t see it or acknowledge it; whether on the outside or the inside. In doing so though, we are then unable to perceive of the beauty that can be found wherever we are; but especially in the falls. This is me a former illusion of perfection; what I wanted to see and deal with in the mirror. I have fallen in words, actions and moments; as well as having been detrimental. I have and hold many “f” moments that include funny and fabulous ones; right along with the hellish parts. So what? Yesterday has left but today holds the hope that I will keep that mirror close by so that tomorrow won’t be a repeat of what has already been. This is you, a circle of heavell, just like everyone else; whether an addict or not. What’s not there is your ability to go through if you lose any part of yourself; because that actually just feeds the hell. If you need help in order to find you, that is a strength. Just don’t stay too long in any place that doesn’t lift you up to see that you have always been so much more than what you have remembered. What has been lost can be found by one fall and step, as well as walking in circles, at a time. What if in this perfect moment you were to consent to stepping into you; seeing you the way the mirror does? After all, it’s easy to forget that superpowers and sometime warriors are created when they are needed; also known as “after we fall”. Whatever will you do now with the perfectly, irritatingly, messy and fantastic person that you are? Oh hell, let’s just get some more tissues because it’s going to be a comfortably uncomfortable kind of day.

“It is not our ability to love, to be loved or to make love that determines our successes or failures but rather how we deal with the controversary, individually and together, that shapes those things. See yourself soon. Love, Heavell”

For You #135

For You #135

How has it felt to look on the outside of yourself for the relief from what hurts on the inside of you? Were you aware that seeking comfort in that place would mean you would remain uncomfortable on the inside; whether an addict or not? That it would require more and more just to attempt to feel the original solace that attracted you to begin with? Or how about the real truth that as it became the loudest part of you, the rest of you would be pushed into the shadows? Difficulties will always be a part of our lives because there’s no way to get around them. If you are uncomfortable with adversity, whether on the inside or the outside, then seeking assistance is an acceptance of who you are; a delving into the view beyond just what you are able to see. It is actually a strength when it’s used to help yourself go through; but not when it’s used to feed the hell. Turn around and look at the yesterdays. Step inside to where those moments will show you all the ways in which you have descended; even if not always into hell. Falls, whether in words, feelings or behaviors, have always held the hope for the discovery of understanding and change; the actual possibility of transforming hell into superpowers. As you are, if you are scared, then just say you are. Do this for you because while help can be found on the outside, you have always been the one who was meant to go through on this journey. As the beholder of heaven as well as the bringer of hell, you are the most important person at your position. Here’s to this so very heavell life where sometime warriors fall right along with illusions of perfection. Oh hell, who has some tissues for the green truths, the pain, the “f” moments and for the fabulous times that make us laugh so hard we cry? I will just wait right here, in this perfect moment, for you to consent to showing up for you.

One of the strongest feelings that we each experience is that of being alone; or at least the fear of being so. What have you chained to the definition of that word to make it your own? Even when we are in a room full of people, those who are on the outside of us, we can still feel that way on the inside. Despite the differences that are found amongst us, we all share similarities when the pain of isolation and loneliness is breathed into our hearts. Both fear and sadness accept and love everyone equally but it’s what we each do with it that determines its’ affect. After all, a feeling is still a feeling no matter who holds it nor how it came to be. If you understand that particular place in hell, what is in your words that can help or has helped you? Can you use your pain to perceive of what others are going through now; that view beyond what is just in front you? To assist them so that they may have hope while on their trail? The art of living in heavell is recognizing that what we imagine is not there, is actually there in some part or place for each of us; despite not being easily understood. It matters not if you are a princess, a student, a jock, a mother, an addict, an illusion of perfection or anyone else because we are all “f” moment makers and feelers; as the beholders of heaven and the bringers of hell. Turn around and get comfortably uncomfortable with your parts, moments, words and feelings; just don’t stay there too long. As a sometime warrior, what’s not there is the ability to be one without pain. Assist yourself by accepting the yesterdays and step towards the tomorrows where the anything and the everything can be different for you; but will still hurt in any given moment. Together and not together we are the beauty, the fear, the loneliness and so much more. Here’s to creating superpowers and or falls from the adversities; because change lives in both. As the heavell keeper of your life, all of this has always been for the perfect person; in other words for you.