How difficult is it to begin where you are if your matter of time is spent thinking that you should be in some other place? Or what happens when you try to live through the words of others, to be as they say, rather than exist within your own? Those two things may appear to be completely different but they are in actuality very similar in the facilitation of the conflict within ourselves. Both create feelings of weakness and aloneness by encouraging us to believe that we should be somewhere else or be someone other than what we are literally working with. As we walk in circles or hide through the use of substances and other things, we hope that whatever sentiment we have will somehow change into something else. What’s not there though is the possibility for another person, a new locality or a thing on the outside of us to make an inside job emerge into the transformation that we desire. The concept, then, that I’m possible is hard to view or to even hold onto when every day seems like yesterday or we desire to be other than who we are. The fact and the opinion is that what breathes within us will always be wherever we are and it will be repeated until we build what is there into what we rise from. At first glance, you may only appear to be this strong but within you there is quite a bit of room to strive and struggle again and again until you find your way through. After all, sometime warriors and superpowers evolve from what’s not right rather than from the things that were all right to begin with. Start with the words that actually hold where you exist. What is in those expressions that you say to yourself and how did they come to be? Now turn around and find a different truth because the fall and rise of your words can either illuminate only the messes as a whole or expound on how your beauty can be found in the chaos as well as the small things. After all, as we go through piece by piece, there will always be things that we cry about that originates from the pain or because we laugh until our stomachs hurt as that suffering no longer feels like the weight of the world. Here’s to you and to me as well as those boxes of tissues. At first glance we may appear to have only failed but the real truth has always been that we are fabulously flawed unless of course you continue to go that way in which case today is just not the day but there’s still hope for tomorrow. Be loud, be bold but especially be kind to the perfect person who is going through this so very heavell life one fall and step at a time.
On Friday, October 30, Heavell will be sharing our first podcast in honor of Ryan (June 1988-May 2019) and the formation of the art of living in heavell on that date four years ago. Addiction may have brought the fear and the pain of hell into our lives but also located there was the realization that we were always capable of being so much more by seeing that what had appeared to be weakness was really the first step of strength; also known as a different truth or the illumination of the beauty that lives in the chaos. It just took our matter of time to get there while getting comfortably uncomfortable with being exactly who we are rather than what we appeared to be at first glance. Every dream matters whether here or not. See you soon. Love always, Heavell.
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