Our need to connect encourages us to consent to being similar; at times losing ourselves in that belonging. We have a limited view of the circle of heavell when we change, hide or deny parts of ourselves in order to be or appear to be a member of whatever. By not valuing the uniqueness of each person, we are feeding the hell with the expectation that everyone should be, feel and respond in the same manner; the fracturing of wholes. If you have fallen, in whatever manner that has occurred, can you perceive that a piece of you wants to be seen? To be understood, not as an “f” part, but rather as one that has something to say? Who you are includes beauty, falls, fear and steps but most of all the ability to change what you hate or what hurts; through the understanding of you. Turn around and see what has been done. Are you sure you want to continue to do today what you did yesterday; while expecting a different outcome? Are you sure that other people, places, things, substances or even the BLAH hold more value than you do? Are you sure you don’t want to believe that you are the perfect person to have fallen in hell and then to change that into a superpower? It’s all right to be scared while not being together and together at the same time. I will just wait right here while you see that you are the beauty and the fear, also known as the pain, that can be found every where you are.
What would you say if I told you that I can tell you how to be victorious; whether an addict or not? What if it only required one thing? That answer, then, would simply be that you just have to do what I tell you to do; even though you are different than I am. How did you feel reading that green truth? Every day we are told who, what, how and where in order to succeed; or to be a dream or to have beauty. All of that information is located on the outside of ourselves; encouraging us to consent to what someone else believes rather than ourselves. It’s not that others don’t have knowledge or a vision of the things that can lift us up, but along with that heaven is its partner hell; or the ability to destroy us as well. Being who you are has always been enough in this so very heavell life. It’s what you do with it on the inside and then the outside that matters. Listen, but don’t breathe into your heart the words and the actions of others. They can have and hold different meanings despite what appears to be similar definitions of them. A dear friend told me this week that “If you win but you lose yourself in the process, it is still a loss” after someone encouraged her daughter to become who she isn’t in order to be viewed as the best at something; to be victorious. Are you sure that you want to continue to look outside of the perfect person in order to find acceptance? To deny or change who you are in order to connect? What will you do with that knowledge now; since you already know how to lose yourself? Are you willing to continue to stay there or are you ready to just be you? Sometimes making a difference for yourself is found in simply getting comfortable with the all that you are and have been; especially the pain. If your going to do as I say then you better get ready for the next fall because it has always been a part of the journey; for all of us. Did I forgot to mention that victories always involve some form of falling; whether an addict or not? Oh hell, the view beyond what is just in front is filled with weeds; and some flowers as well. I’m going to need more tissues as I laugh until my stomach hurts and cry as I carry the weight of the world in my heart. I’m all right in the not so all right moments. Are you sure you aren’t as well? See you soon. Love Heaven and Hell.
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