As we thought about sharing our memories of Ryan, we thought about all of the things that he did, was, accomplished and shared during his almost 31 years of life as an individual, a son, a brother, a friend, an uncle, an athlete, a thinker, a dream, a fallen angel and an addict as well as the blah of all of it. What wasn’t there, though, was who he felt he was rather than what we or others had perceived of him. So it is his words, taken from his writings, that we feel shares the deepest sense of who he was in his own life as well as ours.    

Therefore I Am…The Awkward Story Of Me

By Ryan Fisher (06/1988-05/2019)

Why does everything have to be more than or less than when really all that has been holds the whole story and not just some of the parts of me? I have been both strong and weak in any given moment. I can be found as both a leader and a follower, a lover and a hater as well as generous to a fault while also being as selfish as I could possibly be. I have spoken the truth and I have lied to myself and to others. I have stood strong and run away as fast as I could. I have believed in hope and never thought it was possible especially for me. I have been protective while in other moments I have been the bringer of harm. I have fought battles and won only to fall in other ways. I have been a defender while failing to fight for myself. I am difficult and yet easy. I am loyal and I have turned away when things became challenging. I have understood and failed to understand. I have also been misunderstood as well as seen when I thought I was invisible. I will help you feel at home even when I cannot do so for myself. I have been crazy at times but I have also worked hard to solve when I am able to. I am fearless but I am also scared. I am living and yet I am not always alive. Why does everything have to be more than or less than? Perhaps it is best that you are not me because there have been so many moments, none of which are more than or less than, that have come together to make me “therefore I am”.  

Ryan’s sister Ashlee started a page on facebook for him shortly after he passed. He had an affinity for traveling and seeing the world. Follow the link below to see his continued adventures.