What do you want from yourself that can only be found on the inside of you? Do you only want to be just a part or would you rather be a whole; whether an addict or not? In this so very heavell life, the challenge is to see the all of ourselves; as well as that of others. There are things that we do, say and are that even in a moment can imply who we are to other people; and to ourselves. Often though what is thought to be known is the green truth rather than the real truth about us. In a matter of time, a sometime warrior can be a mess and a mess can be a sometime warrior. I have been both separately and together; the perception of which has not been easily seen nor understood. Imagine if you will the moment that you realized that you, or a loved one, had become an addict. That desperate time when we realize that a substance has become the strongest part is when we feel fear take ahold of our hearts; for both an addict and a non-addict. It is the beginning of a painful process of learning to cope through a place we do not want to be in. A part of falling into that hell is the inability to see the real truth; taking its matter of time in each of us. The apples known as denial and enabler keep us walking in circles. What they provide is the ability for our hearts and minds to do what we are capable of at the time; while having and holding the weight of the world. Hope can also be found there through the desire that tomorrow will be all right even though today is not. A green truth is that we can’t be a sometime warrior while facilitating addiction. How, when and if we step moves from our personal knowledge that is lifted only when we each feel the capacity to do so; feeling strong enough to change. It seems easy enough to tell addicts to just stop using substances or to communicate to others to quit enabling them. It has, however, never ever been that simple in a life that is so very heavell on the inside and the outside of us. We can understand, though, that if we behave today as we did yesterday, and do so again tomorrow, that things will not likely change for the better. If you are scared then just say you are because that is courage and fear; as well as strength and vulnerability. An illusion of perfection can be a mess on the inside while a mess can hold a superpower within his or her parts. Be loud in the heaven and the hell of you; giving voice to every part. Please hold on because the hope is that in the next moment, you will say the words that an essential person, you, needs to hear; from you. Here’s to you and here’s to me. May we pick our own weeds while smelling our own flowers so that being a mess helps us to be amazed and laugh as we step and fall on the trail in heavell.
The definition of enable is to give someone the means to do something. The heaven of that is to empower a person to stand; through positive and informative support. One of the hells of that word is to facilitate the substance abuse of someone; or some other negative behavior. What is hidden in those meanings is that we often want to and believe that we are helping; as there is so much more between both of those realms. My enabling has changed over the years but I still do it every single day. I am working towards using the heaven side of it more often. It is a process of discovery and falls; just like an addict has to go through. What if you were to think about how your enabling is helping or harming someone? What if in this perfect moment you were to discover how you feel about it? Can you enable yourself to do this better by seeking the support that you need; in order to be stronger? We seek to label things but often we limit ourselves and others by doing so; ensuring that we remain and they stay chained to hell. Here’s to you and here’s to me as we all enable along the way. It’s a mess learning what words mean on the inside of us. The uncomfortableness of that hell, though, is where our connection can be found. Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for the addiction that has been in my life; as the superpower that has been teaching me to see and feel more than I ever imagined. Please hold on because you are finding the perfect you.
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