There is a difference between what we believe will make us happy and what we accept as the causes of our suffering and yet depending upon what’s there or the place that we are at on our trails, our opinions of each can be changed with just the occurrence of a moment or a step or even with the discovery of a different truth. After all, we can fall in love without really perceiving of the all of someone and assume things about people we don’t really know even though the fact is love is always easy when adversity is not involved and we hate when we are judged and not heard as well. We can also fall for things that are on the outside of ourselves, such as someone else’s thought of what beauty is or what the value of our own pain is, despite that being in direct conflict with what we feel and hold on the inside of ourselves. We can even have all the items that we think will make us happy, the appearance of having it all, and still find that we are unable to cope through the conflicts while we can be a mess as well as a sometime warrior but only be seen for our chaos. Or we can feel fear and be in pain and express it in it’s loudest voice known as anger, or even through substance use, but be thought of as being unacceptable, fallen, even when others respond in a similar way but say their behavior is justified and acceptable. Why is that? There is a difference between what we actually feel and think as well as what others have come to believe and accept because no two people have experienced this kind of life or recognized a view in an exact duplicate manner despite any similarities that we may have. The heart may hold the pain that we do not want to acknowledge but it is actually the place that can help us the most because no matter what words we say to ourselves, or others do, we can’t talk our hearts out of feeling what’s living there; especially those blahs that are from long ago in the yesterdays. This starts with our collection of things that only we hold that can show up to create chaos when we least expect them to and when we seem to be all right because love, even for ourselves, is never ever easy nor without conflict. Those particular objects and parts are what we are going through with so we might as well just be who we are. Hello, it’s good to be home in the place that needs us most if we want to find understanding for what hurts and then change it into superpowers; also known as using what has seemed to be weaknesses and impossibilities to discover what has always been meant to become strengths and possibilities. In other words you can’t change your weeds, those dreaded “f” moments, into fabulous flowers but you can carry them not as the definer of you but as the parts that are helping you to get to know you. So what is in the words that you say? Are you giving yourself a moment to lean in to hear if they are expressing what you really feel? What will you do now with the knowledge of what you have believed and accepted? Can you turn around and find a different truth to help you? Or are you going to continue to feed the hell by falling for the views that live outside of you? I am going to wait right here because there is a difference between us and what works for me is not necessarily what is in your best interest but together and not together we can change what needs to be. Oh hell, if you need help then ask for it because that is a strength but remember you are going through with the all of you not what others are working with no matter what you or they wish for. Be kind because, in just a moment, we can all plummet when carrying the weight of the world or through our words or for a love that is easy until it’s not. Grab some tissues and hold on because it just might be a beautiful day where you can cry here and laugh until your stomach hurts or just be. Whatever you choose to do, have the best day possible in your so very heavell life. Love Always, Heavell