As we are presented with choices in our lives, it is simple enough to believe that where each of us decides to step will be or should be in the direction that is in our best interest. What’s not there, though, is the view that one can be decisive and still choose a trail or an “f” moment that is not advantageous. We often associate being determined with courage, confidence and the fabulous moments but in a different truth we can also be unwavering through our repeating of cycles, the avoidance of or only breathing in pain as well as being in an altered state as a result of substance abuse. Choices, then, are made based upon the value and the power of what has come together on the inside where it can’t be easily seen nor understood. What we continue to view in that place will effect us for far too long even when we don’t want it to or hate that it does. After all, the more that we walk in circles, adding moments on top of moments, the less we know and believe in the possibilities of ourselves. That, of course, would appear to be yet another choice but silencing the loudness of what will always find a way to be illuminated is as complicated as what we feel as individuals. In other words, those things on the inside, even the small ones, are what we are going through with so we might as well be who we are while also finding a different truth for what hurts and is not in our best interest. Each day every one of us has the choice to wish for change or to guilt ourselves and others to be different or to deny and hide whatever we don’t want to deal with. However, the best day and option isn’t when we do those things but when we look for the view beyond what is easily seen in order to help lift up what has or who has fallen. Do you know if you are facilitating holding on with your words or are you unaware that you are actually feeding the hell? So let’s start by perceiving that in order to change anything for the better, including how choices are made, we have to get comfortable with what is uncomfortable while not breathing it in. We cannot desire to only be courageous when fear walks hand in hand with it. We also cannot wish for only happiness just because pain and tears feel like a failure to be perfect or hope to be the beauty that others see when we are the beholder of what defines it for ourselves. This is life and it doesn’t always turn out as we believe it should but then no one ever aspires to be in pain, to repeat cycles or to be an addict even though those are all just the moments before we turn around to see that what appears to be weakness is really the beginning of strength. You can cry here from what hurts and what makes you laugh until your stomach hurts but what you can’t do is control or change any of it without understanding what is living on the inside of you and that it is all right to feel as you do. Today is the kind of day where you can lean in to hear the truth of what the yesterdays have held so talk straight. Oh hell, maybe you are scared, I know I can be, but sometime warriors and possibilities are found in the moments that hurt not in what is easy. You can cry here, for whatever reason, as you go word by word and feeling by feeling as you step and fall along your so very heavell life. I am going to wait right here just in case you need some tissues or I do unless of course tomorrow feels like a better option for you but either way there is a love that will continue on in the perfect person to go through; also known as you. Have the best day possible for you. Love always, Heavell
Heavell is honored to include another perspective, with today’s blog, on how our feelings effect the choices that we believe we have and then step towards. Thank you Susan David, Ph.D. for sharing your TED Talk “The gift and power of emotional courage” with us. She is the Wall Street Journal best-selling author of “Emotional Agility” and a Co-founder, Institute of Coaching a McLean/Harvard Medical School Affiliate Psychologist, Harvard Medical School who is committed to getting emotional agility into the world.
https://embed.ted.com/talks/lang/en/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage
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