Our opinions are filled with not only what we view from our positions but how we feel about all of it as well. Facts, on the other hand, are supposed to be the things that are unable to be disputed; the reality without the influence of emotions. The problem with our field of vision versus what is said to be certain is that the separation of the two has never ever been that simple. As we are, our personal emotional definitions and the place that we are at on the inside will always impact what we see as the real truth; what we focus on and or connect with. How can we find understanding when we don’t feel or see the same things: despite the presence of facts? Think back to a moment when you expressed how you perceived of a situation while someone else viewed something else; each holding the value of what’s there or not there. Were you surprised by what the other person stated as being fact? Did you then want to say, as loud as possible, what you knew to be certain? Our reaction to the things that we feel have been misunderstood, devalued or not seen is to seek out those who hear and agree with us; or to find the things that will help push those feelings into the shadows. How we handle that adversity will be, at times, in ways that are detrimental to ourselves and others; especially when through, but not limited to, judgement, anger and substance abuse. Before you continue to go that way, are you sure that you want to? The fact and the opinion is that this is me and this is you in this kind of place; one where its simple and so very complicated. The nothing that has appeared to have come from nowhere has always been somewhere; in the places and parts that will always get loud in order to be heard. After all, what has been done in the yesterdays is still effecting us today and will continue to do so into the tomorrows; until we change the power of the hell. Its simple enough to say words or to state what appears to be certain but it has never ever been easy to know whether the perception is a green truth or a real truth; because of the all that we are. I am going to wait right here while you find the balance between what you are certain that you have and hold and what others say you do; otherwise known as facts and opinions.
The action of enabling is often perceived of as a part of the facilitation of the hell despite the fact that it can also be the act of lifting up someone who has fallen or just needs help. Our ability to view the certainty of that word is effected not only by our emotions but also our coping skills. As the mother of a former heroin addict I can truthfully say that I did enable Ryan in his addiction; for my matter of time. What’s not there though was my perception that rather than helping I was actually assisting in his falls. When we are on the outside of the adversity, its simple enough to have opinions or even facts but when you are living it with someone you love, its complicated. When we find ourselves in a place that is painful and where we feel fear, it is understandable that we would react in a manner that is familiar and comfortable; even if detrimental to ourselves and others. The same can also be said about addicts as substances are a part of their intimate and secure coping behavior; even when detrimental to themselves and others. Judgement, anger, denial or even being loud will not change the power of it but instead will continue to feed the hell; becoming an epidemic on the inside and the outside of everyone involved. What is there, though, is the ability to discover how to breathe while experiencing the weight of the world on your heart and to be courageous while also feeling that fear; whether an addict or not. We fall every day in our behaviors, moments, words, and feelings because of the all that we have been and will continue to be. The opinion and the fact is that every word has a hell side and a heaven side but what you have chained to each with your emotional definitions determines which one you will facilitate; for your matter of time. Change comes when we become uncomfortable enough with what has become familiar. It also occurs when we begin to just listen to ourselves and to others but especially to the things that hurt; accepting the certainties and the views that are found there. It took several years for me to stop repeating what I had already done in the yesterdays and on occasion I still fall back into that pattern when faced with a new controversary; just like an addict. The more, though, that I was able to hear and say without breathing the words of others into my heart, the more Ryan relaxed and was able to do the same. Those moments of heaven enabling allowed us to work together and separately in overcoming the hell that had a hold of him; even with several more falls occurring. This is you and this is me as the bringers of hell and the beholders of heaven. In a life that is so very complicated, its simple enough for all of us to become lost on the trail; walking in circles for our matter of time. Turn around and look in the mirror to see the nothing that came from nowhere that is something beautiful; also simply known as the parts that make you who you are. Then choose to be kind to the place that needs you to as you go through finding the heaven and the hell in every word that you say and feel. You can be all right even in the moments that are not all right. Just give yourself permission to be a sometime warrior who falls but who also has the superpower to change the hell into heaven; in any given moment, behavior, feeling and word.
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