There You Are #105

Are you so very heavell with a part of you in addiction or are you only an addict with just a piece in heavell? As you are, what you believe you see in the mirror has the power to lift up or to destroy your ability to just be you; a perfectly, irritatingly, messy person. When we breathe in what we hate and or hurts us, our perception on the inside and the outside is altered; to the detriment of ourselves as well as others. The green truth encourages us to focus on one person, place, thing, substance or part as being where the problem can be found; and also where the solution resides. The real truth is that many objects, moments, pieces, BLAHS and more live within us and around us; each bringing something in and taking something out. Because we are not made of or defined by only one of those, it is essential that we include all of them; seeing them as the contributors to the obstacles as well as the resolutions. Just as an addict must think of and do all the things necessary in order to stop the use of substances, he or she must also reflect on all the ways that addiction came to be on the inside; and has continued to live there. What then do you know about yourself; that is merely one of the clues to you being all right? In a garden or in you, the weeds or the hell desire to grow as much as the flowers or the heaven. If one has become the strongest part of you, then its up to you to deal with the all that has been or that will be; by picking your own weeds while smelling your own flowers. You are the only one who has come together as you have; making your perspective imperative as a factor in the problems and the solutions. What if in a moment like this you were to own your hell; rather than continue to allow it to have and to hold you? Because in life, there you are as the perfect person to love, hate, accept or change all of your parts; even the ones that have been denied, forgotten or hidden in the shadows.

While fear can impede our ability to speak, it also can be the driving force behind finding a voice; the heaven and the hell of it. Even when the truth is spoken, there are no guarantees that it will be received well by others; or have the ability to create the change that we hope for. Seventeen years ago Ashlee spoke of her fearfulness for her boyfriend’s return to drug use. She breathed in brave and went to Matt’s home to speak with his mother while he was out; sharing what she knew and was scared of. After she told him that she could not be with him if he used substances, Matt promised her that he was going to party for one last time that same night. He died a few hours later from an accidental overdose; having aspirated in his sleep. Fear and courage walk hand in hand but also nearby is guilt for the moments when we believe we did not do this well enough; whether an addict or not. Seen or not, everyone and everything brings something in and takes something out in any given moment. What is in the words that you say to yourself; as well as to others? There is no one better than you to speak for you; especially of your perspective from your position. Take your life by the hand rather than continue to allow it to take your hand; deciding what you can or cannot have or be. Embrace the “f” moments because we don’t learn if we don’t make them; and admit to having them. We don’t stand if we don’t fall; because there would be no reason to. We also wouldn’t have our sometime warriors; without the moments that challenge us with fear and devastation. So what if one of the most powerful things in this world, addiction, brought you down? With the super power of being the only you, you are the perfect person to eventually stand in that hell; and become who you were always meant to be. We need you in your position otherwise we will continue to be fractured; missing the essential parts that hold some of the keys to the problems and the solutions. After all, there you are being so very heavell in a world where everyone else is also being that; while laying down, walking in circles, falling, standing, stepping and sometimes just being in a place we don’t want to be.