We are each in the company of words that have been turned inside out by details that often don’t agree with the evaluations of life as others have perceived it, and that difference makes understanding how to survive our own weather appear to only be a dream.
So instead of developing better relationships with our things, doubt and fear lead us to find the way out by abandoning ourselves in order to try and fit in with that which has been created in gardens elsewhere.
But we are the ones who give meaning to every single thing that lives in our stories, so despite our attempts to hide what’s there, the synchronicities of our thoughts and feelings never moves away from focusing on the obstacles and the pain.
And although not every thought is really worth our taking the time to think about it, on paths littered with the graffiti of our debris and dragons that demand conversations about the terms of our line of thinking, sorrow is what we have come to know intimately.
That grief then takes up so much space that the proof of the past leans in to become the foundations of tomorrow’s lighting and our hearts have all of the emotions that it needs to support its actions.
So, we hold the hope that someday we will be able to let go, and yet the purpose of our minds is to exude the perception of our travels and telling them not to think about those things only makes them want to focus harder on them.
The challenge, then, is to be amongst the memories and the feels that are attached to us while finding a way to be detached from them so that their roles are merely ingredients enfolded along the process of creating works of art that are sometimes very messy.
Within the darkness of what can’t be undone, are other details to be noticed that allow us to breathe a little easier, and even if it’s only a splash of color that has been left behind, we can focus on that.
On this day, just because our grief is unalike others, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t honor what has been built within us because, after all, being happy happens when we take care of who we are in all of the places that we are.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
The energy of the words that haven’t skipped a beat in influencing our experiences and what our thoughts have had to say can be traced back to the multitude of sayings that have been all around for years.
And scattered within those traveling dances of existence, we have periodically stopped to plant seeds of hope for change, only to see them start but then come to an end, adding more tears to the ideas that a lack of transformation means something is wrong with us.
Change, though, while a logical need, just happens to be an unknown dragon or unseen threat when it comes to the devotion of the march that has been dis-harmonizing our pieces and as such, returning to our familiar shuffles is simply a natural habit of ours albeit an unhappy one.
What would happen if we acknowledged that consistently walking in circles has more to do with our vague concept of what revision is for us as individuals than it has to do with our missing what it takes to be able to adapt?
What if then, that collaboration is one of those old lores that needs adjustment because instead of it supporting us, it has been feeding the hell of the belief that stumbles prevent remarkable things from simultaneously being true?
What if we told the noise that is always ready to go that while there is darkness in yesterday’s spaces and a possibility of it in the weather of the tomorrows, there is also varying degrees of light dispersed in there as well?
What if we lean in as observers who are curious about digging through the hideout of the items that we feel lost in the emotions of but pretend aren’t there?
What if we shape shifted the things that have reached our homes to expand our understanding of what they mean instead of contorting ourselves to tuck that suffering onto pages, muddying the realness of our personal artistry?
What if the patches that are painful aren’t adequate for us, but that we are sufficient enough to hold the perspective that flexibility is always needed in managing our facts as well as the doubt that comes from having to sort out how to be able to do so?
In the last place we looked at ourselves, we didn’t dare question the discord of the lores that have influenced our thoughts but today and tomorrow are wide open for who we would be if our backstories allowed us to be the sometime warriors that are both sad AND happy as well as scared.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
There are sayings in our minds that have been proficiently placed throughout the pages of our stories and yet in the face of suffering, we will question who we are rather than the ask why those old constants are still being used to navigate our journeys.
Not knowing if or when we will smile again or how we will write in color when things feel black and white shouldn’t continue to paint the same picture simply because we have no idea how to do it any other way.
That familiar know-how, though, was never meant to become a permanent part of how we support ourselves just because the opportunity to hold hands repeats and although those beliefs have served a past purpose, that habit of loyalty doesn’t work with today’s pressures.
So, we are in need of the kind of word of mouth that can connect the distance between the many tears of our grief and the fewer ones that come from the laughter that makes our stomachs hurt.
Something that takes us away from staring in the mirror while asking ourselves “What if this or I had been different?” and moves us to inquire “What now?” because we have finally accepted that there are moments that are truthfully unalike what we had hoped for.
Something that allows us to add the simple word AND to the end of every limiting sentence that is whispered inside us because we are beginning to understand that we are both the dark AND the light as well as capable of being sad AND a little happy at the same time.
Something that encourages us to walk into the spaces of the unknowns of the tomorrows without the need to control our fear by reacting in familiar ways because while the past was a constant observer of the missteps, our future artistry embraces and values the load of all of us.
We have always been together with the knowledge that we have held because our belief has been that that was all that our skills could ever build, but happiness is what happens when we add AND to the parts that we have lacked the security to be more in.
In familiar sayings, we are enclosed by the suffering that doesn’t give us a chance but, in another lore, we are open to being both right where we are AND to smiling because when it comes to sometime warriors, no act will ever be a little thing in navigating the journey of learning to love ourselves.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
We walk through our storybooks, creating as we go, but when it comes to the puddles that contain the drops of life-long weather, we automatically anticipate that the experiences of each new page will inevitably feel just as yesterday’s shows did.
But then there is a sense of safety in wielding that intimate strategy of our own homes against the unknown lurking along journeys that lead us to who knows where even though that particular kind of emotional availability doesn’t really fit with our hopes for the tomorrows.
Thoughts can be changed, but emotions are the connections to our stories that we would otherwise just be attached to like mud on the bottom of a shoe and our hearts have been conditioned to find the same feels regardless of what we think.
And so those repetitive feelings become the decision makers that supply commentary on every moment preventing the growth of what would give us somewhere to go with the piles of emotions that are always loud but not necessarily clear.
And without fail, those standing waters of our forever-after(s), trap us in the drought of what we have concluded and often that is the belief that what has been lived will continue to be even though nothing can ever actually be felt in an identical way again.
After all, doing it badly once was not the same in the next spot that we also hated just as what felt so good over there was never quite like what made us smile before, but our habit of critiquing muddies their individual differences.
So, we naturally lean in to weep with what we grieve as a trustworthy awareness of ourselves because sorrow has been a lasting experience in real time and assumed times, but it has also taken strength to carry the weight of heavy weather that has appeared to only want us to balance pain.
Empathy means to have sympathy for experiences and emotions which is what we are attempting to do when we fully engage with what’s in us, but we get in our own way when we think feelings are the kind of ground to remain in rather than simply being an informational system to learn from.
Instead of just living in the same old puddles, I am avoiding further weight gain by allowing what brings me down to speak while knowing that its commentary is just a part of my pain and not the manager that may contain me wherever I am in my story.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
When dragons call, it can feel as if we are too far gone to ever get away from the repetitive conversations so we stop in familiar places and feel identical reactions because, after all, if they are here, then we must also belong in those same dark spaces as well.
Its a continuous grieving for not only the people, places and things that have been lost along our journeys but also for the loss of who we had dreamed of being and the happiness that we had hoped for.
I have had quite a lot of time to think about what grief means while walking in circles in my own home and I never imagined how hard it would be to truly trust being happy when I have never really had confidence in the lines of all the other feels that have existed in my story as well.
If what I have heard so many times before keeps being repeated and it has become so much easier to just let the weather wash over me and to begin singing along before the words have even begun, how can I stop living in the yesterdays?
Maybe, that slipping back is because different hasn’t prevented the forward acceleration of what has been consistently applied in the past, leaving me feeling as if I haven’t tried to change even though I now carry exhaustion from those unseen movements as well.
Sometimes, everything is wrong and in other moments I am simply being fooled by the self-doubt that has grown over time from harsh ideas that seemed like forever statements but were never really mine to hold to begin with despite what my dragons have been trained to echo.
And so I am learning that just because painful pieces of my art appear again and again, whispering to me to regress, by rehearsing my acknowledgment of them, those shadow energies are slowly fading, allowing me to be all right in the spaces that were originally created from my tears.
Long ago, when “once upon a time” was first placed on our papers, hidden in plain sight was the light that writing something “once” was never meant to be a forever after but “once” we have begun the practice of singing along in unison, conversations with dragons die hard and happiness feels undependable.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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