All journeys have rough spots along their paths but our movements on them are made even harder with the presence of the out of tune beats that also call us home as well as the thoughts that throw shade onto our hopes despite our other ones inspiring us to believe.
Even in our dreaming of change, we imagine those particular items of ours being left behind as if they never existed to begin with but the reshaping of ourselves most often means to repurpose the materials that we already have by carrying and using them differently in our hearts and minds.
Our old way of love or defeating of ourselves has had the means to dismantle the colors and the words of our very existence and while it has served a purpose, that familiar feature of ours will persist in leaving us feeling lonely until we are willing to be vulnerable enough to embrace what we have been trying so diligently to avoid.
The strategy of transformation is not to encourage our separation from the details of ourselves but to stir-up what its like to be us by expanding our view of the dark zones that have entrapped our unique exchanges in life with the rooted emotional energy of our pain.
Complicating our moves to deal with those feels is another dragon of sorts that makes its appearance to remind us of the comfortableness of continuing to cope as we always have and we breathe that noise in because its scary to work through what hurts and it’s even more so without the safety of the shields that have gotten us this far.
Figuring out what works involves the back and forth motion of repeatedly trying without having the guarantee that our seeds will ever bloom but what we don’t do today will still be available tomorrow and no matter how creative we get with our movements, so will our pain.
We can, however, choose to apply the past in our current moments by dancing with the authentic-ness of every one of our tunes as we acquire the skills to quietly let our suffering parts know that we are with them and that it will take our matter of time to do that thing of being all right in both the darkness and the light of ourselves.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
No matter their size or where they fall, every raindrop has a place in the evolution of a garden just as each of our experiences has an influence in the unfolding of ourselves.
Sometimes that moisture flows to specific spots and we are happy for it to be there and yet along with those right moments are the ones in which erosion occurs as well as periods of drought as a part of the whole movement.
In our real time processing, though, what comfortably reverberates in our thoughts and feelings are the views of those unwanted marks and subsequently the roots that invade our plots as the results of those things.
We are, after all, use to the habit of holding items within ourselves as we always have and it is often harder to let go of how we carry that noise then it is to actually release what has happened on our journeys.
We can’t change what we surround with the sound of silence because it’s very presence implies that we are defined by the “f” word known as failure and if that weight breathes within us, even our hope won’t believe in our ability to defeat any kind of a dragon.
Somewhere along the way, we quietly transformed from the understanding that contact with negative events is a part of our training to thinking that we are stuck with the materials of missteps and unhappy feelings with no method through despite having done so many times before.
We don’t live in the yesterdays but we have existed in them and to find what we think we have lost in those details of our stories, we have to recognize that our previous practices actually did serve our objectives. However, since we are no longer there, we now have to repurpose that old love for ourselves into a new love that will work for us today.
The goal isn’t some location or an item around the bend or to only be in the sun but rather for us to be the glimmer in the weeds, the shelters in the storms and the reasons why flowers even exist.
Remember, there is room in the garden for everything because seeds need nourishment from all of the different pieces of their ecosystem and even though we don’t like it, that magic happens to be the same activity that occurs in the revealing of our beauty as well.
In a story of time, the development of our gardens has an ebb and a flow but the vibe our happiness relies upon our showing up with our color of love in the moments where what has been planted is hidden in the shadows of its messiness and the creases of its destruction.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Each day brings the possibility of changing the narrative of the person who lives at the end of our pen and that adjustment of materials begins with moving away from our expectations that have not helped us to recognize our strengths to taking slow steps forward with the intent of viewing how our perception of that vibe has had us thinking that it is missing from us when really we just haven’t noticed it’s quiet presence.
We have, after all, written all of our previous pages with the kind of guidelines that have encouraged us to believe that there is courage in coping with the incoming days in the same manner that we have ignored the visits of our emotional energy in the previous ones even though to find our joy we have to learn to live through the process as we go along it.
The small talk about our emotions implies that it makes sense to surround some of our details with silence because we no longer live in those places but we are rooted in the grief of what has been plus the ache of what never occurred there either and it is in our movements as well.
The tomorrows are the unpredictable spots in our stories and if we appear as strangers to ourselves in those locations, we will discover that love and forgiveness still have no purpose on our sheets while our unwanted feelings will have more voices to whisper that its dark because something is wrong with us.
Hope can’t change what we are repeating from our experiences in the yesterdays nor can keeping busy on the outside but we can by spending time with what hurts so that if we fall off the edge again, we know exactly what we need in order to get back up once more.
Simply, if unhappy feelings were truly the definition of weakness, then there wouldn’t be so many people who avoid dealing with those dragons but we all do in various ways because they are actually the toughest beasts and we fear we will not be able to survive engaging with them so it feels easier to pretend that they don’t even exist.
Within the dances of our struggles are unexpected moments of light that appear to be far away because we are entangled in our weeds and the marks that they have left on our hearts but it isn’t the distance between us and those beams that makes us feel worse but rather the sound of silence that encompasses what has happened that leaves no room for us to grow into anything else.
This is you and this is also me and it isn’t just about the flowers because every single thing that we are has to find its place in the sun otherwise our art will be to cast the shadows of the yesterdays upon today while wondering why we don’t have the ecosystems whose frequencies are filled with celebrations.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
There is a lot of discomfort that lives in our darkness and it has a way of turning our experiences that have wrapped up our hearts into the predictableness that our minds continue to seek.
Even the two forces of sunny days and a thing called hope can’t completely silence the art of that pain and grief as it weaves through us and we build our existence around the marks that can only be felt.
The things that we don’t want to talk about continue to be attached to us no matter how much we like to pretend that they are not there and that makes the yesterdays feel like they are leveraged against us as we hold onto the view of them.
We even think that happiness is something out of a dream because our limited definition of it implies the absence of suffering and based on the fact that we do hurt, we then also mistakenly carry the belief that finding our joy will never be while still pursuing it with our hope along for the ride.
The details of our personal stories are what we engage with on the inside even when we are smiling on the outside so attempting to quiet certain parts of ourselves is similar to blocking our own light and then wondering why we are never the ones with the ecosystems that grow the flowers that seem to effortlessly flourish on the trails of others.
The change that we want to happen isn’t propped up with the certainty that we desire nor is it a single event that will erase what has been written in black and white in our hearts but it is the process of learning the different ways that we exist in the rhythms of our energetic emotions that sing the weakest moments of our lives so very loudly.
Sometimes we are the dragons that cause our own suffering as we imply in our hearts and minds that we don’t want any of ourselves in our attempts to turn away from and discard the blah that resides within us.
The full value of being happy comes from showing up in the difficulties as many times as it takes, so if we truly want to let go of what we have been enduring, then we have to repurpose the materials that make us authentically who we are.
This is you and this is me but the aches that are whispered beneath our breaths are what separate us into our unique stories so a simple step forward is to become familiar with your specific color of love and practice using that to encircle all of your experiences with its hug.
The beauty that you have been looking for is waiting to meet you and its not around the bend nor only seen on the days that you are able to laugh because it occupies the established individual garden that exists within you whether the sun is shining or not or you are laying down from the pain of your weeds.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
Beyond our minds are our hearts that are filled with the moving emotional energy that is our authenticity and our thoughts believe that if we restrict the vibes of our unwanted feels and subsequently the responses that they generate, it will help us to be happy but in that quest to repress , we are also unknowingly limiting the possibilities of our showing up for ourselves.
Our idea is that by hindering those voices we have some sort of control but those out of tune rhythms continue to have the ability to keep us swaying on the edge where even the smallest gust from our storms can unwrap what we have tried so hard to contain.
Sometimes we are the dragons that hold us captive and the ones who cast the fear-invoking shadows that we see up ahead while in other moments, the debris that we ourselves carry causes us to stumble but we think it’s because the sun isn’t shining on our trails.
We imagine that success is the results of everything being just right but the real truth is that the first step of achievement is in allowing ourselves to experience unhappy feelings and to make mistakes as we slowly navigate the untested pathways on our journeys.
We can’t rush the process and while it may feel like we are repeating what has already been as we try and try again, each time it is ever so slightly different because we have added to ourselves despite the consistency of our glimpses of the yesterdays.
Wandering closer to our emotions and going through them grows the love that we need for ourselves even though our fear of what lurks in the darkness there would have us believe that we are unlovable because of it’s existence or the possibility that it does.
We can’t do everything at once but what we can start with is changing or interrupting our understanding of the weather in our lives and recognizing that showing up is a shield that is meant for an ordinary day as well as the cloudiest of ones because finding our joy isn’t just about celebrating the flowers.
So, if we are going to fall, then let’s choose our how and why we do so, so that it is our choice to move and not our reactionary steps to the constant grief and distress that exists around us in the tunes of small things and big items.
Forgiveness is an action word as much as love is and to be successful with each, we have to expand who we are by turning on our lights in the darkness instead of trying to restrict the authenticity that powers those beams.
Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
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