The Four Letter Word #289

The Four Letter Word #289

Storms are actually two-way things where there are moments when the rain sounds like an unhappy tune on repeat and others that we don’t even notice that the sun is absent as it pours.

The vibes of beams are just like that as well because there are cloudless days in which the brightness is as overwhelming as the weight of our grief is and still more that hold a little bit of happiness that makes us hope they will last longer than they are able to.

What lights us up or feels like darkness isn’t the weather that we are surrounded by but rather if we are chasing the belief that flowers are located somewhere around a bend or if we are finding blossoms at home within ourselves along side our familiar points of gloom.

It can seem as if everything has to be or look a certain way in order for us to be able to define words like joy, beauty and love but its really about how we communicate to ourselves the distance that links our sadness with what makes us smile.

A single thought leads to another and another and yet another, echoing full messages to us that hold our view but if we can discover the neutral position between those two polarized ends, it can help us to navigate balancing our tears with our laughter whether its dark or sunny.

Often we try to separate the uncomfortable parts of our journeys from ourselves by keeping them between the boundaries of lines but when we meld both sides of us together, we get to step back from our writings in black and white and move into a shelter of color or one that truly expresses all that we really are.  

By gazing with curiosity in both directions, we can see that the proximity of what we want is far closer than we think it is and the power of what we don’t want is actually considerably less than we have imagined.

When the energy of our sorrow once again meets our happiness, as if we are still getting no where, the way out is in knowing that the four letter word known as love is easy when life is just as sunny days can also be but when our hearts are in need of a hug, it becomes the action term that reminds us that in our darkness we are also the light regardless of the existence of our weeds or a missing sun.          

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell.     

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The Vibe #288

The Vibe #288

We hope for the tomorrows because the past is supposed to be what we learn from not what we build on but the distance between here and there does not separate us from what is able to hold us captive in our own hearts.

Even today our responses show the hidden effects of what has been through our familiar way of walking the highs and the lows of our journeys and while we desire change, closing doors on the feels that we don’t want often inadvertently silences what we wish for as well.

So here’s a thought.

If there are parts of us that are still entangled in the adverse weather of the days gone by and we desire to leave them there, how will keeping our faces turned towards the treasured view of the sun, now, prevent those old shadows and the future ones from enveloping us even when there aren’t any clouds overhead?

There will, after all, always be days that take forever to end, feelings that we don’t want to remember, others that we hope will last longer than they do and more that we will grieve for as they slipped through our fingers and now we can’t find them anywhere.

Simply the different truth that lives along our trails is that we have been able to locate what does not work in battling dragons, in practicing being happy in the dark as well as in believing that we can leave behind yesterdays gloom and be able to deal well with tomorrow’s pain.

Our narratives are still worth the read through all of the worn pages, faded ink, out of tune notes and muddy mess of colors because happiness isn’t found in the absence of what we don’t want but in doing for ourselves what we need while experiencing those things and that takes a lot of practice to get it just right.

It’s hard to get good answers when we don’t ask the right questions and it’s difficult to change when we are still convincing ourselves that we must smile as if we have all the answers because to feel the fear and the hurt is unacceptable.

This is a life that holds variations in it’s viscosity and the beauty of the vibe of it is that while yesterday may have been drawn in black and white, today those effects have a little bit of happiness through the actions of rewriting what’s still there with love and forgiveness.

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell

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A Little Bit of Happiness #287

A Little Bit of Happiness #287

The space between what we imagine we want and what actually happens is a place that is cloaked in a kind of darkness that moves us around even when we are standing still.

It’s where the obscure grief of our lives reminds us that our souvenirs from the yesterdays do not hold the beauty that we had dreamed of.

That vibe on the inside can then make it difficult to step forward on our paths that still wont promise to hold what we desire.

But hope, like love, is an action word which means that there is more required of us than just experiencing the feeling of it.

Often that entails practicing in order to help ourselves to live differently with the parts of our stories that have already been especially with what has been entangled with weeds.

We are use to the context of our words and how we write them in a black and white manner but we do not have to continue to build our lives around those familiar and yet unwanted items.

Sometimes transforming the small objects brings about a little bit of happiness and by viewing the parts that we do not love in a contrasting manner allows us to see that we are not unlovable regardless of the gloom that has existed.

So by simply coloring those well known terms with a variety of hues provides us with the visualization of how the energy of our feelings actually fluctuates moment to moment despite our belief that they shout the same things about us all day long.

Remember epic tales are not made up of perfect weather or having all the answers but they are about our journeys of meeting ourselves where we are and bringing love as well as forgiveness along for the ride.

Periodically that does mean operating without lights, being drenched by storms and feeling alone in a room full of people but its also how we find the way to give ourselves the flowers that feel like a shelter when the darkness moves us around while we are standing still.

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell    

Untangling Hope #286

Untangling Hope #286

There are many different reasons why hope is shaped within each of us but every single one of those begins with the vulnerable desire for change.

Change of what we no longer wish to have and to hold as a part of ourselves.

On the upside of hope is our limitless ability to dream of the possibilities of being unlike what we have already been and on the downside is the reminder of our authentic-ness and the fear that that truthfulness will prevent us from being able to disconnect in a manner that we will like.

Simply, all that we are asking for is that the results will be as we have wanted but that is an easy way out that exists in the effortless places that have never required us to have hope in order to navigate them.

Just as there are numerous points for hope to come to life, there are a multitude of alternative routes that have to be worked through but often we become obsessed with what didn’t comfortably transpire from our movements, leaving us with the belief of being impossible.

Without failure, success would have no value and the hard process of hope is to be available, not when it occurs as we yearn for it to be, but for how it most often truly shows up.

Change is disruptive while the feeling of it is destructive but as we are untangling hope, we are leaving room for the unimaginable by looking for every way that we can be all right in our so very heavell lives.

Remember, underneath the surface of hope is the sense of the sensitive need for transformation and seeing it as an empty page that can be continuously added to allows us to keep hope alive particularly when our fear tells us why we should merely let it go.

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell   

Of Sand and Stone #285

Of Sand and Stone #285

(the life of grief)

Once again as I turn the pages of another day, I find a myriad of memories of you stuck in places that I don’t remember putting them in.

Some feel quite gritty against my heart as it moves with each beat while additional ones give the sensation of being as soft as a bed of silt that I can gently sink into.

Others have disappeared after slipping through my fingers when I wasn’t looking and I am afraid of losing even more of my souvenirs from the yesterdays.

Still a few are like a collection of weights that I periodically rearrange to prevent them from tumbling on top of me but somehow I still feel their heaviness in my chest and I am reminded of the duality that lives in the recall of love and loss.

Today those echoes that are seemingly made of sand and stone invite me to walk their ever shifting path where you now reside and I will go there with the fading hope that this is all someone else’s storyline and a box of tissues for when I realize its truly mine.

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always Heavell