That Look Upon #268

That Look Upon #268

Even when we can’t find the words to express how we feel about ourselves, we have the ability to fill in the blanks by visualizing the hues that best reflect the beats of the emotions that churn in our hearts and overwhelm our thoughts. A red stain can signify deep fondness in one position but in a different truth it also holds the intensity of anger. The softer blues of the forget-me-nots can be the reminders of sadness while also being steadfast in the out of the blue wins where we find something other than what we had originally hoped for. Yellow is believed to represent our sunlit moments but, in the darkness, it is also the light that illuminates what desperately needs to be seen in that cave. Black and white speaks for matters that are clearly defined but when we turn around, the use of those two colors implies that there is a void in the understanding of the shading that lives in and around all of our renderings. Even the pigment of the powerful phrase “I love you” fluctuates whether we are amongst the blush of the flowers that feel like a hug in our hearts, or we are moving through the foliage where a thousand brown thorns pierce us. Unfortunately, it’s far too easy for us to let go of our courage when the stamp of our fear bleeds into the colors of our dreams or to neglect our fondness when the parts that we hate muddy our palettes leaving us unable to see what we love in the mess. What’s there can take us anywhere but if our hearts ache from the flow of emotions, the dark hues will feel stronger than the aspects of the other possibilities that live within us as well. In essence, all of our expanding and contracting feelings, or at the very least their tints, travel together with us through our twisting journeys but they never promise to only show up in the moments that we want to feel. For instance, today I am feeling the blues from the memories that still need reshaping within me as well as the rosiness of the perfectly imperfect love that has been placed along my trail. As a masterpiece in the making, that look upon my story is why I need boxes of tissues to dab at the tears from the rich laughter that makes my stomach hurt and the ones that fall like a rain that slowly washes the opaque parts of me. Every piece of our stories will be decorated so we might as well take them by the hand and live in the truth of epic tales where there’s a kind of magic that knows how to use the staggering grassy weeds to form the most beautiful flowers and writing in our own colors is the key to defeating the dragons that plague us.

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell

Writing in Color #267

Writing in Color #267

When we believe in something that has been shoved into the shadows, we don’t look for a reason to trust what that voice has to say about us, we just do so without questioning it. However, when it comes to the things that should remind us that we are so very possible, the amount of proof that we carry never seems to be enough to nourish what we need in our hearts. It’s as if we think that what’s credible about ourselves as a whole is the loud vocalizations of a few parts that we never planned for in the first place and the words that should help us navigate that trickiness seem to speak far too softly within us. Perhaps our inability to really hear all of ourselves is why we think that happiness exclusively appears on the sunny and debris-free trails that others travel on. Or how our view implies that smiling faces are an indication that there are only sweet blooms on the inside of those who display them even though we, ourselves, also grin in order to hide what we don’t want to be seen on the outside as well. Is it really possible, then, for us to transform if our focus is on listening to the voices that threw us upon a rollercoaster ride where our own grief guarantees that it will plummet us regardless of the hope that the next time around will be different? We are the stories that contain a lot of details that we shouldn’t always carry with us, but we do so without periodically turning around to see if those unwanted items are ready to be used as tools rather than remain in the limitation of being the items that have been done that can’t be undone. After all, just because a moment or a feeling can’t be reversed, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be reshaped into something that moves us forward. Writing in color allows us to be home and to be safe in a life where what we have believed hasn’t always been what is in our best interest but then again dragons are only invincible when they are speaking their truth from a position in the darkness. Be loud, be kind and always be colorful as you fertilize what you plant in your heart, keep in your mind and say in your epic tale.

Today we are also including Julian Rosen’s video on “Survival” to illuminate what has been written in black and white for far longer than it should have been. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell

We Are the Stories #266

We Are the Stories #266

Whatever is planted will bloom as it’s fertilized by the things that come to nourish it even when it has been pushed deep into the darkness to prevent its growth. It’s like the obscure marks upon a heart that tell a grand account although their existence can’t be seen from the outside. The lack of view makes the materials seem unimportant and yet they are so invaluable in the understanding of the direction that a narrative takes. Should a story be told, then, if what’s there doesn’t make sense or hold merit in another’s account? Beauty is a word that is defined by so many particulars that it would take thousands of books to hold all of the expressions that represent it but nonetheless it is often judged by a few pages. Should we only recognize the ones that we see and miss out on the rest as if the loveliness that flourishes all around us isn’t also worth our admiration? Grief is another term whose many angles are like the structure of a rollercoaster where we can perceive that we will plummet during the ride, but in our rush to get through the journey, we don’t notice that the weight of the world has the ability to mangle the whole system keeping us stuck in that cycle for far longer than we should be. As with all pain, we want to limit it to the path that goes directly into and then out of the weeds without the seeds of trauma attaching themselves and impeding our lives with their buds long after we have left those moments behind. There is also the idiom known as dragon and we believe in that made-up creature so much so that we love its terrorizing presence in epic tales, but we discredit its very real and menacing residence within ourselves as well as others because those specifics don’t fit what we think describes where a beast resides or what it can do. Is it possible, then, to live the life that we want, if what we hope for can only be clearly seen by showing up in the things that we don’t want for as long as it takes? It feels tricky navigating the content of our lives, but safety isn’t found in never encountering dragons or by defining our beauty through another person’s ideas on its existence or by timing out our grief because we are tired of hurting. Being home is established when we believe that we are the stories and that our details make us understandably the feature in the records that are experienced in our own hearts rather than what is fostered or blooms in someone else.

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell

What Blooms #265

What Blooms #265

Along our journeys, a thing called hope and another one known as love will feel differently as they change shape with each person that we come across as well as the locations that we find ourselves in. When those two feelings occupy so much space within our hearts, we believe in what’s possible; even in what we have yet to meet that’s around the bend. It’s effortless to breathe in that position because when we feel all right, uncertainty silently slips into the shadows. If, however, those powerful voices become quiet, then we will seek relief by thinking about what we need in that spot while inattentively letting go of what we had been dreaming of prior to. Within every moment change envelopes us as it adds to how we feel in our existence especially about ourselves. Sometimes that transformation brings a light that illuminates a section of our beauty, and the warmth of it makes us smile just like we do in the reassurance of traveling along the easy parts of a ride. At other times, though, that process happens in the most unwelcoming ways, and it will leave us in the darkness where our view is limited, and we feel unsafe. It’s in the unhappy pieces that both love and hope seem more like the reminders of what’s impossible than they do as the friends who shout encouragement as we cautiously take on the mystical beasts that desire to keep us from moving our stories forward. It would seem then that what grows depends upon what fertilizer we add, but unfortunately, it’s just not that simple. In other words, our hearts hold our emotions while our minds try to make sense of the ever-changing shape of those feelings, and the fact that they bend in all the ways that we encounter our lives. We are the sometime warriors that hold a thing called hope and another one known as love and what breathes within us will always have the ability to nourish whatever seeds are planted. Make what blooms your own by expressing yourself as a supporter who knows the warmth of the sunlight within you and the kind that won’t let you leave it behind while you are in the chance of storms in a life that is so very, very heavell.

Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell