A Better Story #225

A Better Story #225

In every engaging narrative there are backstories, conflicts, obstacles and goals that provide the ability for us to perceive of the characters that live there and an understanding of what they have to overcome. Those journeys involve other locations, goals that we don’t have and mystical beasts as well as magical things but it’s the discovery as well as the change along the way or through the storyline that holds the emotions that we can relate to and care about. Epic tales, after all, are not about always being strong and courageous or doing flawless things but rather are about facing the weaknesses, the doubt, the pain and the fear in those worldly narratives just as we are challenged to do in our real lives. Even in the story of a field, a tree or a flower, the accounts are not about everything being perfect but the processes of light and dark as well as nutrients and weather or lack of along with other types of complications that they encounter when growing in familiar places that are not always welcoming. In other words, a better story than a perfect one is a real one just like in the books, movies and songs where an authenticity about the subjects makes them feel believable. The difference, however, is that our tales don’t feel greater than ideal when our mystical creatures and legendary trails are really things like addiction and being lost in the weeds with a hope that keeps us holding on but also has the ability to leave us feeling hopeless when a positive outcome isn’t what we wanted. So why is it easier to have fondness for or cheer for someone else’s epic tale than it is to do so in our own? Maybe it’s because we perceive that a flawed character in a narrative can be forgiven for moments of weakness and “flipping out” while still being seen as a hero but that our own darkness and missteps are an indication that we are in fact and or opinion impossible? Or perhaps it’s that those tales are fictional which makes it so much easier to have understanding even though there has to be a sense of realness about the characters in order for us to connect with them to begin with? Or maybe it’s all right in those stories because the controlled change happens in ways that are just right? A better story is an actual one even if what’s there isn’t what you want because it is an opportunity to discover more than you imagined like in those out of the blue wins where you were scared but held on anyways or where you said what you needed to say even if no one else heard you. Change is always enfolding us whether things appear to be the same or not but it’s the hope as a goal rather than a feeling or the belief that one can’t be fearful and brave at the same time or that a part defines a whole or that needing help is proof of weakness that limits our view of our and other’s possibilities. When you pass this way again, and you will in thought and or behavior, this time view the main character in your epic tale as a sometime warrior who needs understanding, forgiveness and help from you because, after all, a better story is not a perfect one but rather the one in which you show up for you in all the ways that you authentically live and feel your life. If your favorite character found himself on your journey, experiencing all that you have, what would he or she do to go through? Now what are you going to do with you one moment at a time? Oh hell, grab some tissues for tears and or laughter while having the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell

Thank you, Tess, for sharing a part of you with us through your artwork. A flower that transforms into what we actually need is a better story.

Just Right #224

Just Right #224

Hope is the very essence of all epic tales and while we often see that term as it relates to being a specific goal or purpose to achieve, it is really a feeling about trusting that some sort of positive outcome will eventually happen despite the details and the challenges that occur along the way. In a sense, that small word has the power to evoke some of the strongest reactions in us whether in a narrative that has us on the edge of our seats or music that expresses what we connect to or in the uniting for a cause. In a different truth though, hope also has the ability to create hopelessness in us when we interpret it as an absolute or having to be just right. The journey to success always includes actions of failure or falling as a part of the process of learning and emotions like fear, anger and doubt that are the opposite of what hope implies are often felt as well. Having the expectation that things need to be as we wish limits our view and prevents the finding of those out of the blue wins that we didn’t imagine are waiting to be discovered. When the trail is difficult, and it will be in various moments, those hidden things are exactly what can help us to hold on and trust that impossible will become I’m possible even when the results isn’t what we planned on it being. After all, hope has a life of its own that, depending upon the circumstances and the meaning that it holds for an individual, can either be easily held onto or just as simply hidden in the shadows as a detail of what makes any story epic. As far as you are concerned and or as it pertains to someone else, have you ever been disappointed by a wish not coming true? Why did you feel that way? Were you able to find the unexpected beauty that would have been there too or was your field of view focused on your hope becoming exactly what you expected? Ryan’s addiction wasn’t just right for me, and his relapses were not a part of my goals. Those years were scary but because I had a specific purpose or way to get there, my “flipping out” as things didn’t go as planned actually fed the hell or hopelessness in him more than it helped. As we know though, when we are in the midst of anything it’s incredibly difficult to hold on to the feeling of hope while trusting that something positive will occur in the darkness whether you are an addict or not or facing some other type of challenge that exists along the way. Take the time to think about what you hope for, leaning in to experience it as an emotion rather than as a particular aim and then contemplate what your goals are with the idea that healing, sobriety or whatever is not a straight line through the flowers but rather a rollercoaster ride in the weeds that absolutely isn’t going to be just right. Hope has a life of its’ own and it can’t live if we limit it to the parts that we only want because when we do that, it becomes the feeling of hopelessness; the very thing that we don’t want. Today we are including one of Ashlee’s favorite music videos titled “Sober-Voice of an Addict” featuring KC Makes Music and Jordan Meyer. Words matter and the more we understand how we live through them as well as how others do, the better our possibilities are in finding those out of the blue wins and positive outcomes that we hope for and need in our so very Heavell lives. Be loud, be kind and be just right as you trip, fall, walk in circles and enfold change in your matter of time. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell

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The Shading Effect #223

The Shading Effect #223

In any kind of life there is a thin line between failures and successes because positive outcomes rarely exist without some sort of falling along the way and since the value of a win is often based on the amount of “life” you have to give to make something happen, those easy trails would never be the place that sometime warriors would be found on. Even the margin between what we hate, and what we love is narrow because our add-ons make it possible for us to lean in to hear one or the other depending upon the subject, the moment or the place that we find ourselves in. Paradoxically trust balances on a hairline as well because when there has been a failure of it, we want to see remorse and then be able to forgive but while those words are a part of what defines safety, neither action is a guarantee that a cycle won’t be repeated especially when the why is far more complicated than those outward appearances simply imply, and change has never ever been that easy regardless of the presence of hope. On the surface, all of those terms are familiar to us but what actually gives them meaning is the enfolding depths of our personal experiences or the shading effect that has occurred in our lives. The details that we hold are what make our stories epic even if the “mystical creatures” in our tales are addiction or some other behavior or thing that we don’t want, and they can also be what complicates our ability to transform. Our expectations and imagination encourage us to believe that our shading effect should follow some order or shape but even in the show and tell of art, music and epic tales a variety of elements from light to dark are used to project the amount of “life” in a piece. When the details are missing, we are then left with limited views that leave us wondering what else could be there and that difficulty will facilitate our interpreting what we believe those things are although they rarely contain everything that is really there. In other words, we actually live in our “have dones” and if we unearth what’s buried there, we might just find that the out of the blue things that breathe there are the hidden successes that we need. When you pass this way again, because you will and you should, what victory or small thing did you miss because it wasn’t what was expected nor what you believed it should be? How do you feel about it now? It is easy enough to think that success, fondness, healing and safety are straight lines, but the real truth is that they are a series of movements that takes us all over the place while including failure, sometimes repeatedly, on our rides as a part of the amount of “life” we give to make things happen. This is me and in my epic tale I have been a sometime warrior who slayed dragons and hung from cliffs or fell down at times even though in my show and tell those mystical creatures have appeared in the form of a behavior or thought, and it was my feelings that I was hanging on to rather than a perilous ridge. After all, the shading effect in my life has at times made those tasks feel as if they are as powerful as a legendary beasts appear to be until I recognized that it is my words and details that give them life and just like that, I can throw a plot twist in and defeat them with a little unearthing of treasures in the mess. Be loud in your story because it’s what you are going through with but also be kind because even sometime warriors need to feel fondness and hope in the moments that they are in the weeds. Oh hell, use the shading effect to continue your epic story in an unexpected and yet your kind of successful way. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always Heavell

Show and tell #222

Show and tell #222

Characters, in narratives, are revealed through their series of movements and we enthusiastically delve into those stories knowing that an important part of understanding who each individual is can be found in the present-day circumstances but also in the subtle and sometimes hidden truths or details that are disclosed in the right moment about each. Through those things we connect to the personas and we either cheer for the hope that they hold or decry what they represent. Those feel-good stories are not just about a win or the end results of a journey but instead are a ride through the particulars that occur along the way to becoming or overcoming anything. The sagas even embrace the use of unwanted things such pain and doubt to infer that with a little belief ordinary can become extraordinary, that being scared doesn’t mean a lack of courage and to illustrate that out of the blue triumphs are valuable in encouraging us to keep going when we want to lay down and give up. We love those types of narratives because of the possibilities that they hold until, of course, those stories turn out to be a part of our own homes and then we are far more comfortable with the expectations that the details will be hidden, denied or ignored. Part of the problem is that it is far easier for us to value real-life people, places and things through our own field of vision than it is to uncover what it’s really taken, for example, for the story of a field to become what it has and how the power of that can be changed. We often believe that it is better to close the door on a mess than it is to be victorious by turning what’s there into unexpected beauty. In other words, a present-day show and tell of someone may give the appearance of a full narrative but there is always more to delve into then what we perceive of. If we want change to occur and to stay, then we have to understand and enfold the whole saga rather than just a part of it or the pieces that we are enthusiastic about or seem easier. After all, can you imagine a sometime warrior in an epic story saying that he or she won’t fight “mystical creatures” or climb mountains or discover courage in the face of his or her fear or only wanting flowers along the trail to becoming while still expecting it to be a tale of hope, possibilities, triumphs and the overcoming of something? Or what if we only read some of a novel or watch a little of a movie and then speak as if we know all of the details or we only nurture a part of a field while expecting the rest of it to be as good as the small thing that we were willing to help? What would those types of show and tell infer and do we really want that? It is all right to not desire everything in our stories, to even decry some of what’s living there just as it is all right to sit down and rest when we don’t think we can go on but we can’t leave parts of us behind otherwise we will pass this way again and again until we are finally ready to pick them up and change them into what we have always needed them to be as the uncovered out of the blue triumphs that we can locate in the weeds. A win, no matter the size, in the place that needs you most is more valuable than the things that have occurred with ease because your life is an epic tale and in that kind of story fields of flowers are just merely the supporting characters to a full narrative. In fact, and opinion if life were made up of only what we want, the epic tales that we enthusiastically love couldn’t be imagined since there is always subtle and sometimes hidden and yet real truths about life in them right along with those mystical creatures but then we battle our own types in our so very heavell lives too. Imagine addiction as a fire breathing, fear-invoking dragon who seems to be impenetrable but really can be defeated through its’ vulnerable spot that you have to find or you as a sometime warrior who falls down but also hangs on to cliffs in moments that it would be so easy to just let go. What does your present-day show and tell say? Mine says that I am still an “f” moment maker, but the power of the mess and the failed ones are becoming what makes me stronger, particularly those out of the blue triumphs that live in my parts that I hate, and my fabulous moments are now just the supporting characters that remind me that I’m possible when I need to rest. Be loud in your show and tell while also being kind on your journey to becoming or overcoming something because epic tales are ongoing, long sagas, and plot twists happen all the time. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell