Part of the reason why we love epic tales is because they imply a togetherness and the anticipated triumph in those accounts encourages a belief in ourselves that we are also able to overcome any kind of hell despite the lack of mystical creatures in our stories. The best sagas are the ones where the long journeys are a rollercoaster ride through all sorts of events, suffering, fear and then finally that feeling of relief as the sometime warrior beats the odds because, after all, anything else would cause us to “flip out” In other words, we have the expectation of victory in novels and movies as well as in our lives and if a plot twist seemingly derails that hope, doubt in the whole narrative can take ahold of us. It’s as if that unexpected darkness is able to feed, somehow, the belief that our story stops right there and that we are in fact impossible so we might as well lay down in the weeds. What are epic tales really about though? Simply they are a succession of stories with details that are living loudly in the moments of an individual who is hoping to conquer something over a matter of time not unlike how a song is a part of a series reflecting the particulars of what an artist is going or has gone through rather than a synopsis about his or her whole life. The site of any narrative can make an account appear to be far more interesting, but it isn’t really important because out of the blue, “mystical beasts” or rather the hell can find each of us even in the places where we believe we are safe enough and that location doesn’t determine if we are living an epic tale since it is ours to noisily go through everywhere. Perhaps what discourages us from believing in our stories and our abilities are the thoughts of what our triumphs should look like because it is far easier to view fields of flowers in the light than it is to have plot twists in our lives that requires us to search for the unexpected beauty of the ones that are hidden in the darkness. Imagine then, that you say what you need to say with the idea that you will be victorious in being heard and yet you are not so even though you know your particulars, you begin to doubt your whole narrative. The expectation was for change to immediately and simply occur but what isn’t there is the realization that there is an out of the blue success in those weeds despite the lack of being heard. By speaking, you are learning to show up for yourself while taking a step towards the understanding of what safety and fondness needs to become for you. When our view is limited to the things that we only want or believe should be there, we will spend far more time walking in circles or even falling than if we keep looking for the different truths that live there too. Those out of the blue triumphs are a part of what makes our tales epic particularly when our ride places us in the path of some “mystical creature” or plot twist that seemingly is determined to derail us. Have you been able to locate an unexpected beauty or out of the blue victory or does the idea of finding the treasure in the midst of the chaos seem impossible for you? Or maybe it’s that your expectation of a so very heavell life has been based in the belief that you are either in the flowers or in the weeds, and the plot twist is that both heaven and hell are present in every single moment no matter what your location is? Grab some tissues and look both ways at the succession of your stories because what once made you cry from the pain now might make you laugh until your stomach hurts or what you use to laugh at could turn out to be what has been hidden hurt all along. You never really know what will happen in an epic tale but then that’s a part of why we love them. Have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
When the accounts of our life journeys are viewed, they are often perceived of as short, uncomplicated versions that are not necessarily the real truth despite what appears to be there, or what we should listen to. Perhaps it’s the time and the details that it would take to understand someone or even ourselves that prevents us from recognizing that a part is never the finished product of a whole but rather a synopsis of a life just as the first line of a composition is a glimpse into what a song has to say. In other words, just because there is a mess behind a door, it doesn’t mean that treasures can’t be found there too or that a melody about the troubles that someone has seen can’t be rearranged to create a victory tune or that the view of a word like “impossible” can’t be moved from its powerful feeling of defeat to become the even stronger belief of “I’m possible” After all, unexpected beauty lives in the complicated places, like the weeds, that we don’t want to be in and the time that it takes to find it depends upon our individual series of movements. In the story of a field, the plot is a diverse and tricky portrayal that involves quests, failures, doubt, disasters, triumphs, rest, fear and courage as well as the ability to affect other fields. There is a supportive cast as well as those whose presence can prevent the field from becoming all that it can be. This is an epic tale in the life of an area but in our preferred ballad form, the end result is what we are most often focused on regardless of the moments and measure that it took to create what’s there. Sometimes, things other than what we want will show up in that place or objects from other fields will find their way into that area despite the best efforts and additionally the items that we thought no longer had the ability to affect the land will appear again and again causing us to “flip out” There will even be periods of doubt where it won’t seem possible to help transform the area, and sometimes that will be the real truth, but that is also when we will need to sit down to hear what isn’t being said and to view what we have not perceived the correct value of rather than continue with the short versions that are so much easier but will rarely, if ever, lead to change. This is the story of a field, but it also could be about a tree in a forest or a relationship or a part of you or whatever you imagine it is about and all of those things are made up of pieces in a whole whose details, victories and failures as well as so much more create an enfolding product that will continue to move even when in the same position. In your epic tale, because any kind of life is one with a sometime warrior who battles things that seem like mystical creatures, what detail have you treated as just one line or a few notes when the real truth is that it is a narrative or composition in you? What is the hell of it? Can it be rearranged to become the unexpected beauty or victory of you? As I have said, Ryan’s addiction was the hell in my life that I absolutely hated, but over time it also taught me to re-value the particulars of not only myself but also Ryan as well as Ashlee and Taylor which led to a better understanding about the other fields within me and around me. Today is the day, or perhaps tomorrow is the one, to start with one piece of you and reassess what it has meant in your life in all the ways that it prevented you from becoming all that you could have been and all that you can be now by moving your view of it. In a different truth but still a very real one, what is impossible is always “I’m possible” on the long and painful trail, although what you find won’t necessarily be the type of flower that you had wished for or even ever imagined could live in the darkness. Remember to always be kind to the person that you are going through all of this with and to be home in the place that needs you most because change starts with enfolding the details of fondness and safety for yourself. Embrace the mess where a yet to be discovered treasure is waiting for you and of course, have the best day POSSIBLE for you. Love Always, Heavell
When we think of epic tales, we imagine the long, adventurous and victorious journeys of heroes as they work to overcome something or someone. Those types of compositions imply that the lead characters are always strong and determined in the face of adversity. In the less obvious parts, though, there is also being scared, weakness, anger and falls as well as giving up as a portion of those stories because when we are in the midst of it, both courage and fear hold our hands but it’s the one we focus on, in any given moment, that feels so possible. In other words, our arrangement of terms, “flipping out”, feelings and beliefs determine how we view our or someone else’s narrative and often only a part of an account is considered when valuing the whole. So, let’s start here with your story where you are not actually battling mythical creatures or perhaps believing in your triumphs, but you are with each step re-defining your pain, safety and love and your skills of coping to find the unexpected beauty of you. After all, epic tales wouldn’t be told nor actually be possible if they were about perfect trails and fields of flowers rather than the history of those who are in any kind of hell and hoping to find a way through even if the odds are against them. In a life with you, you get to decide what your moments meant as you pass that way again and with each new, and enfolding moment, you can either keep repeating the view of the yesterdays while hoping that change will somehow find you or you can go somewhere else with what has been by moving your perspective to include more of you. The picture included with today’s blog has the beginning notes of the song “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” Just because those notes are in a particular order in that composition, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be rearranged, to be used differently, to create another one. In a life with you, the same thing can be said about you. Just because you have certain details that you hold, it doesn’t mean that you can’t take what’s there and use it to create something else, moving each one until you understand yourself better and can show up for all of you. That specific song was on repeat for years for me because it was easy and familiar to place things as I always had and yet I didn’t perceive that I would continue to locate the same outcome by doing so. The truth of what that song represented back then hasn’t changed even though it doesn’t hold the same meaning or presence for me today and I will always carry it with me as a part of who I was and how I am becoming who I am now. My life is an epic tale of courage and fear, of falling and defiantly throwing myself off of cliffs, of determination and laying down, of regret and grief, of “f” moments as well as the repeating of cycles for far longer than they should have been. At times it did feel as if I were attempting to slay mythical creatures, those tricky drugs, during Ryan’s substance use. It was also like closing a door to hide what was there while expecting the mess behind it to somehow rearrange itself into what I wanted and then being surprised and angry that it still looked the same when I opened the door to take a peek at it. There were and are, of course, triumphs but they have not always been in the manner that I thought nor what I wished they would be because that’s how unexpected beauty is created and then found in the darkness. Change is not just the stopping of a behavior or a choice because it’s a series of movements as a part of the process of discovering who we are in all the ways that we actually live as we learn to painfully reposition the things that we need to. I now have a better perception of why it took so long for me to embrace that unwelcoming task and the reason, which is the understanding instead of the justification, of why it seemed so impossible for Ryan as well especially in his battle with mythical creatures. That knowledge came as an unexpected beauty that was hidden in the hell of his addiction, and I am grateful for that tough lesson even though I hate the trail that took me there. In a life with you, what heaven have you located in your hell? What song has been on repeat for you, and can you now rearrange it to better express who you are in this moment? Or is it still the one that says what you need to say and if so, why? Be kind to the person that you are going through all of this with and even if no one else changes, you can move your focus so that you go from being safe enough to carrying fondness and safety for all that you are. Oh hell, just grab some tissues because the ride in a so very heavell life will make you cry as well as laugh until your stomach hurts so you might as well use all of your things to help yourself in your epic tale. Have the best day possible for you. Love Always, Heavell
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