When we are striving to do something better, in a different truth, we are also struggling to change what has been a cycle into an improved pattern. Those words, striving and struggling, give the impression that they are not together but they are actually synonymous with each other; in other words they are together. How you view those expressions through your personal emotional definition of each has the ability to help you believe that you are impossible or I’m possible especially when faced with adversity. Do you think that you are striving towards what you hope for or do you feel that you are struggling to get there? The mind and the heart are contrasting in that in the first, knowledge provides you with some sort of an idea that leads towards a goal while the second is simultaneously providing a similar or different sentiment through your emotions. Think about that messy room that you are aware of is in need of being cleaned up but you are feeling overwhelmed and thus just can’t seem to start. Or what if you were to change out the words messy room with something else that is also in need of being dealt with but you just can’t seem to step towards going through? That conflict between what we think and what we feel even influences the cycle of enabling within ourselves as well as with others. After all, it has always been easy enough to facilitate the things that we don’t actually want by believing that the mind and the heart are together when they are actually most often not together; or in conflict. It then can be simple enough to raise a little hell by changing our understanding of small things, like words, that surprisingly can carry the weight of the world regardless of what our minds know. Think then about how you have the knowledge of what steps are needed in order to be sober. Now in this perfect moment turn around and raise a little hell by feeling those emotions that are also located there. Is fear and or courage living in that place as well? Which part of you is encouraging you to believe that you are striving or struggling? In a life that is so very heavell there will always be messes, “f” moments and pain but its what you say and listen to that matters. I am going to wait right here while you raise a little hell by making the small change of being all right with every part of you; even the ones you don’t want.
On Tuesday, September 29th Heavell will be participating with @HugTrain @hugtrainusa in their zoom meetings as they strive towards their evolving vision for their future. We are excited to be included in the beginning of their Small Change.
“If the pandemic has taught us nothing else, it’s made one thing very clear: every individual has the power to change the world. We see that in the way that the virus has spread but also in the process that mutual aid is becoming something normal and easily accessible. Here we see how the smallest thing can make a huge difference to someone who needs it. Now that hugging and travel are both greatly discouraged Hug Train, the anti-loneliness movement which honored Ryan of Heavell in their most recent Hug Tour, has made some decisions about how it will carry on with it’s mission to show people just how powerful they are through small actions. They will reveal their vision for the future on September 29, 2020. It’s all very exciting. If you like, please bring a story of a small change that has made a big difference for you. I look forward to seeing you there! Feel free to invite a friend or two as well.” Arie Moyal, Founder of Hug Train
For those interested please register here for the Zoom session at 3 PM EST/noon Pacific:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIlc–qrzMiHNPpj8BHb_Wc443jaCvCS0Cx
And here for the session at 7:30 PM EST/4:30 Pacific : https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZYrdOigqjwoHdYSkuKJ-YW5rJDlPHGFuu8f
If we think about the expression to hide, also known as to darken, whatever is in need of being dealt with has not gone away nor has been changed but is simply waiting in the shadows to find it’s way into being conveyed. Our closing of doors in order to conceal those messes and the pain then is just like the masking of those same things through the use of substances. What’s not there though is our ability to prevent that hell from illuminating itself from behind a closed door, through anger or in the use of substances or even the BLAH. Those parts and moments that we have not found understanding for, by accepting and then changing our view of them, subsequently become what defines many more pieces even when we are unaware that they are; persisting as a cycle or the repeating of what has already been. It is mostly impossible then to believe I’m possible when we are only acknowledging and trying to be some of who we are. After all, together and not together is not just a place for some nor is the hiding of what we don’t want to feel or to be seen only located on some trails. A different truth then is that those small things of ours can hold the weight of the world and the big things can be as light as a feather despite our view that has been the opposite of that. What’s more even the word beauty can’t be defined by one person, place or thing because it lives in the anything and the everything; surprisingly also in the things that we hate and hide. Falls and walking in circles may appear only to reflect flaws or being flawed but they are actually the beginning of what is meant to be so much more but your view, especially when limited, affects your matter of time there. Just like substance abuse which appears to only be hell when it actually can become the superpower that makes impossible into I’m possible. The fact and the opinion then is that the strength of what you hide will continue to stay that way on the inside until you fling open the door and turn the light on yourself. In other words, that nothing that came from nowhere has always been incredibly important in the place that needs you most so show up for you. What will always be is the presence of weeds and flowers from the yesterdays right into the tomorrows but what you carry and walk on determines if you feel all right or not. You can change the existence in any given moment by understanding why you have emotionally defined your words as you have and then turning around to find a different perspective of them. As a bringer of hell and the beholder of heaven, you have always been the perfect person to come as you are. Just keep breathing because tomorrow promises to be the kind of day where you can laugh until your stomach hurts at the “f” moments and cry because of the beauty that can be found wherever you are. Unless of course you go that way, in which case I will just wait right here until you are ready to come as you are in a life that has always been so very heavell for every dream whether here or not.
We love the stories of triumphs over wreckages and how they hold hope as well as the possibilities of change. But while it is simple enough to perceive of the end results of someone’s narrative, it is mostly impossible to be aware of all the small things that helped and hindered along the way. A cycle, also known as a circle, can begin with courage and determination but if today seems like yesterday, again and again, it can be easy enough to feel as if conquests are something that others experience. After all, our view is usually that being together is the only beautiful place to be but the real truth is that not together is the actual location where strength begins. Whatever happens in our lives affects us in the moments that they occur but the power of them continues far into the tomorrows because of what we say to ourselves about what has happened; as well as what others say. Small things, then, can seem insignificant until we turn around realize that even just the repeating of a single word, whether in the heart or the mind, has the ability to lift up or to destroy; impossible or I’m possible. In a life that is so very heavell, messes and cycles are the opportunity to use small things to conceptualize more than what has already been felt or believed in order to see the view beyond; a different truth. As you are, weeds give you depth in life’s journey and flowers, well they are made up of little and big victories. In other words they are the debris and the beauty of your story where you have always been possible even in what has been the most impossible moments. The stories of successes that we see and hear about are important as the reminders that changing the power of the hell is within reach in this moment or the next or perhaps the next. What’s not there, though, are the specific details of you that will always be wherever you are on your trail. Essentially small things have always mattered, just like every dream, whether here today or a part of yesterday in order to continue or change tomorrow. Inspiration, then, can be found most often in our everyday small things where making it through anything can be a win whether we are holding the hand of courage, fear or both. Got heavell? Of course you do in the small things that together and not together make up all the triumphant and wreckage “f” moments in your kind of life. Here’s to the weeds, then, that make walking on flowers a beautiful place to be.
Which of these is mostly impossible for you: fear from what has already been in the yesterdays or fearless of what has yet to be in the tomorrows? Does it matter that the first is now a comfortably uncomfortable painful known where as the other is an unfamiliar place that holds the possibility of understanding and change? How about that together and not together position where being scared and courageous occurs at the same time? Or is it even possible for those with “f” moments, the dreaded flawed ones, to be courageous? What you think and feel in response to those questions is just some of the details of your story that have the ability to turn you around while you are stepping towards the future or to continue to lift you up. Is it, then, doable to love and hate something or someone at the same time or is that mostly impossible? How about as it pertains to you and what you experience on the inside of yourself? When we find a different definition, especially for what looks and feels like hell, we can locate the balance between what hurts and how it can become a superpower in our matter of time. The things that have already been will matter however if you continue to use them to view yourself and a so heavell life in the same way in the tomorrows. This is you and this is me whether an addict or not. Some, individuals and parts, as well as yourself, will love you while hating the behaviors that are not in your best interest. Some will be fearful and courageous in any given moment while others will turn around to what is familiar even when it has been painful. What is in your words that you say to yourself will lead you to believe that you are mostly impossible or mostly I’m possible. Welcome to heavell where you hold the key to what kind of day it’s going to be. Weeds will always be a part of life but rather than feeling as if they define you, pick them as you do your flowers. Just keep breathing while experiencing the all that you are even when the elements are not always all right or ideal. I am going to wait right here with those tissues just in case you feel like it’s impossible to cry and laugh at the same time or hate parts while still loving the whole. As you are, you are possible.
No matter what position we may be in, whether an addict or not, it is possible for us to find understanding for ourselves and others through our similarities and our differences. Essentially, the look of fear, grief, loss, courage, weakness, tears, superpowers, laughter, strength, sometime warriors and the BLAH can be found wherever anyone of us are. September is the month of Suicide Awareness. This Saturday, September 4th, 2020, the family of Tyler Barone is holding a candlelight memorial called “Twilight For Tyler” in honor of him and others. Please take a moment, between 6:30 and 7:30pm, on that day to light a candle for Tyler, others who are or have been lost and for yourself as we light the way from impossible to I’m possible in the ending of the stigma of mental health issues, suicide and addiction all at the same time. Together and not together we are the sometime warriors in a life that is so very heavell who have the ability to change the power of hell. If you or anyone you know is in need of support, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 or NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is 1-800-950-6264. After all, the look of this kind of life may feel impossible at times but with help, I’m possible can be found in the next or the next or even the next moment. Every dream matters whether here or not. Love always, Heavell.
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